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President Urges Citizenship for Illegal Immigrants
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 21 March 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/23/2009 11:26:39 PM PDT by John Semmens

In a meeting with the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, President Barack Obama called on congress to enact legislation that would lead to citizenship status for heretofore illegal immigrants, calling it “simple common sense.”

“They won’t be illegals if we make them citizens,” Obama argued. “The problem of substandard wages would be ended. Employers wouldn’t be able to abuse these undocumented workers like they do now. Human rights would be protected.”

The President also cited other benefits as an unappreciated gain. “Many of these migrants perish in difficult treks under harsh climatic conditions,” Obama said. “If we open the borders, those wanting to enter this country won’t have to endure this risk. In addition, immigrants will provide a robust augmentation of our population, strengthening American democracy.”

In related news, Obama advised out-of-work Americans to “take a page out of the hard-working Latinos’ book. These undocumented workers always seem to find jobs. You know, an off-the-books job might not be so bad. You get paid in cash. You don’t have to file an income tax. You get to keep every dollar you earn.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Travel
KEYWORDS: bhoillegals; employment; migration; obama; satire
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1 posted on 03/23/2009 11:26:39 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

it wouldn’t be speeding if you raised the limit to 150mph

it wouldn’t be stealing if you just transferred ownership, after the fact.. of course

it wouldn’t be murder, if you allowed for late-late-post-birth abortions

it wouldn’t be sneaking into the country if you just opened all borders

friggin’ morons. i have been anti-lib ever since i lived in san francesspool for 2 years. oh the ‘glory’.

now, i’m fast approaching rabid anti-libtard status


2 posted on 03/23/2009 11:39:07 PM PDT by sten
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To: John Semmens

““They won’t be illegals if we make them citizens,” Obama argued. “The problem of substandard wages would be ended. Employers wouldn’t be able to abuse these undocumented workers like they do now. Human rights would be protected.”

And after that, there will no longer again be any more illegal immigrants, right Product Zero? Brilliant logic! Quite the the inciteful guy with his eye on the future...

Somebody needs to clue this bozo in about simple supply and demand. I guess we’re just supposed to legalize the next batch, too, right? And give them all healthcare (well, steal money from others to pay for their healthcare)?

It’s only fitting that a populace dumb enough to vote for this loser despite his voting record will get what it has had coming. Enjoy paying for 15% of Mexico’s workforce, America. A generally illiterate 15%, but 15% nonetheless.


3 posted on 03/23/2009 11:39:47 PM PDT by CaspersGh0sts
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To: CaspersGh0sts

And I should add that passing the disgust towards the next batch isn’t even the right approach. Complete and total outrage should explicitly exist towards those who are here breaking our laws now. ENOUGH.

It’s as if liberals have everything backwards in life, as if the future of our nation means nothing to them. America last; multiculturalism? Well, that’s divine in the eyes of a liberal.


4 posted on 03/23/2009 11:42:50 PM PDT by CaspersGh0sts
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To: John Semmens
If we open the borders, those wanting to enter this country won’t have to endure this risk.

The preschool president doesn't get it. That ain't gonna sell well here at ground zero.

5 posted on 03/23/2009 11:44:00 PM PDT by c-b 1 (Reporting from behind enemy lines, in occupied AZTLAN.)
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To: CaspersGh0sts

“Somebody needs to clue this bozo in....”

I’m afraid it’s far worse than Obama being an incompetent idiot. He and his administration know precisely what they’re doing. They intent is to weaken our unity and Republic. A house divided cannot stand. If you have enough people in this country that are not loyal to the United States, it will be easier to firmly establish a Socialist/Communist government.

Read this carefully:

Communist Goals (1963)

Documention below

Congressional Record—Appendix, pp. A34-A35

January 10, 1963

Current Communist Goals

EXTENSION OF REMARKS OF HON. A. S. HERLONG, JR. OF FLORIDA

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

Thursday, January 10, 1963

Mr. HERLONG. Mr. Speaker, Mrs. Patricia Nordman of De Land, Fla., is an ardent and articulate opponent of communism, and until recently published the De Land Courier, which she dedicated to the purpose of alerting the public to the dangers of communism in America.

At Mrs. Nordman’s request, I include in the RECORD, under unanimous consent, the following “Current Communist Goals,” which she identifies as an excerpt from “The Naked Communist,” by Cleon Skousen:

[From “The Naked Communist,” by Cleon Skousen]

CURRENT COMMUNIST GOALS

1. U.S. acceptance of coexistence as the only alternative to atomic war.

2. U.S. willingness to capitulate in preference to engaging in atomic war.

3. Develop the illusion that total disarmament [by] the United States would be a demonstration of moral strength.

4. Permit free trade between all nations regardless of Communist affiliation and regardless of whether or not items could be used for war.

5. Extension of long-term loans to Russia and Soviet satellites.

6. Provide American aid to all nations regardless of Communist domination.

7. Grant recognition of Red China. Admission of Red China to the U.N.

8. Set up East and West Germany as separate states in spite of Khrushchev’s promise in 1955 to settle the German question by free elections under supervision of the U.N.

9. Prolong the conferences to ban atomic tests because the United States has agreed to suspend tests as long as negotiations are in progress.

10. Allow all Soviet satellites individual representation in the U.N.

11. Promote the U.N. as the only hope for mankind. If its charter is rewritten, demand that it be set up as a one-world government with its own independent armed forces. (Some Communist leaders believe the world can be taken over as easily by the U.N. as by Moscow. Sometimes these two centers compete with each other as they are now doing in the Congo.)

12. Resist any attempt to outlaw the Communist Party.

13. Do away with all loyalty oaths.

14. Continue giving Russia access to the U.S. Patent Office.

15. Capture one or both of the political parties in the United States.

16. Use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights.

17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers’ associations. Put the party line in textbooks.

18. Gain control of all student newspapers.

19. Use student riots to foment public protests against programs or organizations which are under Communist attack.

20. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book-review assignments, editorial writing, policymaking positions.

21. Gain control of key positions in radio, TV, and motion pictures.

22. Continue discrediting American culture by degrading all forms of artistic expression. An American Communist cell was told to “eliminate all good sculpture from parks and buildings, substitute shapeless, awkward and meaningless forms.”

23. Control art critics and directors of art museums. “Our plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art.”

24. Eliminate all laws governing obscenity by calling them “censorship” and a violation of free speech and free press.

25. Break down cultural standards of morality by promoting pornography and obscenity in books, magazines, motion pictures, radio, and TV.

26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as “normal, natural, healthy.”

27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with “social” religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity which does not need a “religious crutch.”

28. Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the ground that it violates the principle of “separation of church and state.”

29. Discredit the American Constitution by calling it inadequate, old-fashioned, out of step with modern needs, a hindrance to cooperation between nations on a worldwide basis.

30. Discredit the American Founding Fathers. Present them as selfish aristocrats who had no concern for the “common man.”

31. Belittle all forms of American culture and discourage the teaching of American history on the ground that it was only a minor part of the “big picture.” Give more emphasis to Russian history since the Communists took over.

32. Support any socialist movement to give centralized control over any part of the culture—education, social agencies, welfare programs, mental health clinics, etc.

33. Eliminate all laws or procedures which interfere with the operation of the Communist apparatus.

34. Eliminate the House Committee on Un-American Activities.

35. Discredit and eventually dismantle the FBI.

36. Infiltrate and gain control of more unions.

37. Infiltrate and gain control of big business.

38. Transfer some of the powers of arrest from the police to social agencies. Treat all behavioral problems as psychiatric disorders which no one but psychiatrists can understand [or treat].

39. Dominate the psychiatric profession and use mental health laws as a means of gaining coercive control over those who oppose Communist goals.

40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.

41. Emphasize the need to raise children away from the negative influence of parents. Attribute prejudices, mental blocks and retarding of children to suppressive influence of parents.

42. Create the impression that violence and insurrection are legitimate aspects of the American tradition; that students and special-interest groups should rise up and use [”]united force[”] to solve economic, political or social problems.

43. Overthrow all colonial governments before native populations are ready for self-government.

44. Internationalize the Panama Canal.

45. Repeal the Connally reservation so the United States cannot prevent the World Court from seizing jurisdiction [over domestic problems. Give the World Court jurisdiction] over nations and individuals alike.


6 posted on 03/23/2009 11:55:32 PM PDT by This Just In (Support Christian Homeschoolers)
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To: John Semmens
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative
7 posted on 03/23/2009 11:56:35 PM PDT by Isabel C.
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To: John Semmens

Is there no end to his treachery?


8 posted on 03/24/2009 12:11:13 AM PDT by sheik yerbouty ( Make America and the world a jihad free zone!)
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To: John Semmens
Uhmmm can't they already get it? Just 3 or 4 years in the armed services and you are in.

Or did they change that rule?

9 posted on 03/24/2009 12:13:01 AM PDT by JSteff (It was ALL about SCOTUS. Most forget about that and HAVE DOOMED us for a generation or more.)
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To: JSteff

You still have to ask for it.


10 posted on 03/24/2009 12:51:58 AM PDT by ExGeeEye (Always double-check your math if there are explosives involved.)
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To: John Semmens

The first three paragraphs, he would actually say.


11 posted on 03/24/2009 12:58:15 AM PDT by Yaelle
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To: Yaelle

Translation = I need new voters . I just lost most of my Wall Street and main street voters.


12 posted on 03/24/2009 1:26:41 AM PDT by scooby321
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To: This Just In

bookmark


13 posted on 03/24/2009 1:36:44 AM PDT by GOP Poet
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To: John Semmens

Well he has to import socialist democrat voters.


14 posted on 03/24/2009 2:36:01 AM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet)
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To: John Semmens

Of course he does.

12,000,000 new Democrat voters.


15 posted on 03/24/2009 3:54:28 AM PDT by Beckwith (A "natural born citizen" -- two American citizen parents and born in the USA.)
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To: John Semmens

Aw John, you got me this time. It’s so close to what he believes, I thought for sure this was real.
Well, it is close.


16 posted on 03/24/2009 5:32:34 AM PDT by DeLaine (Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?)
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To: All

.

HAD ENOUGH?

Anti-Obama organizations are being united at Freedoms First
http://www.freedomsfirst.org/
for a ‘million man’ march on Washington.
The permit is secured- AND ALREADY OVER HALF A MILLION AMERICANS HAVE SIGNED UP!

This is the only way we will ever get the attention of our elected officials the MSM and the masses- protest!

From the FreedomsFirst website:

We are moving forward on our rally in Washington D C.
We are working non stop in preparations for this historical event to be held Sept 12-13 2009 at the Lincoln Memorial Reflections pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial.
As for the time, The million man march that took place a few years age took over 2 years to organize, we are trying to push this through as fast as we can.
To protest in DC you have to have a permit and have approval to use a certain piece of land.

We called ahead of filing for these things. September 12 &13 were the next available days they had.
The other organization, resistnet.com, which was putting together a march for May 30, didn’t do this so they were refused their permit. Now they are joining with our group. So, we are doing this absolutely as soon we can.
To have a successful march takes time and organization.

Why are we protesting ?
1. To get the attention of the mainstream media.
2. To demand That Obama Provide proof that he is eligible to be president.
3. To demand that Congress and the Supreme court uphold our constitution.
4. To inform the public on the issue of Obama’s ineligibility to be president of the USA.
5. To demand that they can not take our constitutional rights away.

PRESIDENT OBAMA, WE DEMAND THAT YOU BE TRANSPARENT NOW
We will come together in a peaceful rally.
We are proud Americans who fear that we are losing the America we all know and love.
The America where millions have served in our military sacrificing their lives so that we remain free.
A people who honor their flag and understand what it means to fly it and are so proud to do so.
It is time for our voices to be heard loud and clear. Our government is for the people and by the people.
We are Americans who see our rights slipping away as we speak.
It is time our voices are heard.
It is time for us to shout loudly and strongly that we refuse to live under a socialist regime, where our voices are silenced.
Lets take this action now before we awaken one morning and our freedoms are nothing more than a memory.

WE WILL BE UNITED- CHRISTIAN, JEW, BUDDHIST, HINDU, ATHEIST, BLACK AND WHITE.
WE WILL BE ONE- ONE OF MANY WHO STAND AS PATRIOTIC AMERICANS DEMANDING OUR VOICES BE HEARD.
We will be DEMANDING THAT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA ABIDE BY THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
WE DEMAND THE TRANSPARENCY HE PROMISED !!!!!!!!
GOD BLESS US ON THIS RALLY.
WITH YOUR PRAYERS, YOUR DEDICATION AND YOUR HELP, IT WILL BE
AN HISTORICAL, MAGICAL, WONDERFUL SHOW OF THE REAL AMERICA.

We ask you to wear RED, WHITE AND BLUE CLOTHING.
BRING YOUR FLAGS WAVE THEM HIGH.
SIGNS WILL BE PROVIDED- WE WANT TO GIVE THE GREATEST IMPRESSION OF WHO WE ARE AS WE WILL BE SEEN ALL OVER THE WORLD.
UNITED AND PEACEFUL AND WITH CONTROL
WE WILL LEAVE THE GROUNDS AS CLEAN AS THEY WERE GIVEN TO US.

Entertainment will be provided.
We are setting up a wonderful assortment of guest speakers, political and non political, prominent people and many surprises.
Major news networks, including CNN, MSNBC and Fox News. Resistnet.com will also attend.

.We will have live speakers and other entertainment for you.
Alan Keyes and Rev. Manning have already signed. We are close to securing Chuck Norris.

MUCH more to come.

Please make your reservations early as hotels and motels will fill quickly.

. Buses and shuttles will be provided to transport you from your hotels to the on site
rally.

.Tents will be provided as shelter for our entertainers and guest speakers.

.We will provide a First Aid Station
with a Registered nurse on duty along with an ambulance to be standing by for emergencies should
they arise.

. We are planning to have at least ONE THOUSAND porta potties.

.A tent to store emergency water and other supplies should they be needed will be provided.

. A welcome tent for you to pick up flyers with information of scheduled times for our speakers and
entertainment events and other important information including restaurants and areas of
interest, etc will be provided.

Please take the time to sign up so we have an idea of how many people we have attending and to get update emails so you know what to do, where to meet, where to park and what is happening, etc.

TO SIGN UP AND/OR VOLUNTEER YOUR HELP FOR THE RALLY, PLEASE EMAIL STEVE AT freedomsfirst@inbox.com
THANK YOU WITH OUR HEARTS FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND YOUR COMMITMENT FOR THIS GREAT
EVENT!!!!!!!!
__________________________________________________

Please help Texans watch their border with Mexico. The drug war is spilling over into Texas, and in the event of a collapse of the Mexican government milliions of illegals might try to flee over the border:
http://www.blueservo.net/camload.php?camid=11&frameid=10
.
.


17 posted on 03/24/2009 6:02:47 AM PDT by patriot08
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To: John Semmens
You should put "Satire" in the Header.

sw

18 posted on 03/24/2009 6:09:06 AM PDT by spectre (Spectre's wife)
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To: John Semmens

“They won’t be illegals if we make them citizens,”

I have actually read that argument here on FR...


19 posted on 03/24/2009 6:17:35 AM PDT by Little Ray (Do we have a Plan B?)
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To: All

Now that Obongo is president illegal aliens will not sneak in to America. They will march in.


20 posted on 03/24/2009 7:46:34 AM PDT by patriot08
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