Posted on 03/14/2009 3:44:12 PM PDT by bloodmeridian
Osama bin Laden released a new audio today tape, which was quickly played on Al Jazerra before anyone had a chance to listen. The following is a transcript of the remarkable turn of events:
I had a bad night thinking about the failure at Gaza and how my underwear no longer fits right.
Seemingly, there is no symbiosis between those two problems, but, in Islam, there is always a dichotomy within which lies true meaning.
There is too much dirt, and it is now ground into the fabric of my clothing as I sit here and sleep in these caves, night, after night, after endless night. I haven’t had a hot bath since 2001. I have pressure sores. My bladder no longer works right. I feel like I’m married to this goat I call Sharif, who is now blind and my favorite companion because he eats the lice from my beard. I long to walk within the light of the world again.
It is a calamity. It mandates that I do some actual thinking. Maybe I’ve been a bit of a jackass all of these years, instigating troubles between the believers and the hypocrites. Plus, it is not true that the state of our affairs following Gaza is the same as before. It’s friggin’ worse.
(Excerpt) Read more at feedyouradhd.blogspot.com ...
Somebody is posing a parody on the Onion.
He isn’t hunkered down in a cave. He is probably set up in a nice house somewhere in either Pakistan (being protected by elements of the government), or he is in Iran. Since the bin Laden family has shipping interests, he could be anywhere—Somalia, Yemen, a remote Indonesian island, or even Saudi.
what underwear?
Turns out his birth certificate was falsified.
I’m not so sure about that: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2009/03/14/2009-03-14_where_is_osama_bin_laden_us_zeros_in_on_.html
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