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DUmmie FUnnies 06-17-07 ("Face reality, people. centrism is the path to DEFEAT!")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 17, 2007 | Ken/Ben Burch, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/17/2007 11:54:52 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

It is well known that the leftwing NUtroots are now shaping Democrat policy. What is not as well known is that it will now be difficult for any Democratchik candidate in the future to temporarily mainstream themselves in the general election thanks to those same NUtroots. If any of them should try the usual phony mainstreaming routine, the NUtroots will be sure to undermine them. We can see this attitude in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Face reality, people. centrism is the path to DEFEAT!" That's right DUmmies, loudly proclaim your inner Bolshevik. That is sure to go over well with the voters. So let us now watch the DUmmies outline their plan for self-defeat in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, encouraging the DUmmies to carefully follow this plan, is in the [brackets]:

Face reality, people. centrism is the path to DEFEAT!

[Face that ALTERNATE reality!]

There IS no "middle of the road" anymore. There's US and there's THEM. That's all there is.

[No nuance here.]

There are MORE of us then there are of THEM. We're the Silenced Majority, the Rainbow Majority, and the Global People's Majority.

[More of you? Now I know you are in the Alternate Reality.]

If we nominate a candidate who mobilizes that majority, WE WIN!

[The Pink Sapphire has a head start in mobilizing that Rainbow "Majority.]

If we nominate another "careful" "statesmanlike" "measured" "nuanced" candidate, WE LOSE.

[May I have a front row seat to watch your head explode when you nominate Hillary?]

We need to have strong progressive ideals, a coordinated strategy, and the GUTS to defend our party AND ITS VALUES!

[So DUmmie Ken Burch... Any relation to the infamous DUmmie Ben Burch?]

Only a progressive nominee can do that.

[Progressive = Bolshevik in DUmmieSpeak.]

We win if we start the fire, if we excite the nation. We DON'T win by fixating on sounding bland so big donors write us big checks to our losing centrist presidential ticket has luxurious offices in D.C.

[Hillary has luxurious offices in D.C.]

It has to be grass-roots, run from the bottom up, and it has to have drama and power. Bland and "moderate" don't cut it and will never cut it again. 2000 and 2004 proved that for all eternity.

[Bottom up? Are you sure you aren't Ben Burch, DUmmie Ken Burch?]

Let's organize. Let's mobilize. Let's galvanize. Let's WIN!

[DUAC! DUAC!]

Only a progressive and uncompromised party can do that.

[Spaketh La Pasionaria of the Pink Sapphire Salon, Ken/Ben Burch.]

With the people, victory!

With the Beltway, defeat.

Are we clear on that now?

[I'm clear that DUmmie Ken Burch has mind melded with Ben Burch's talleywhacker. And now on to the other DUmmie comments...]

Just as an example, polls consistently show single-payer health coverage the most popular option, yet non of our party's candidates will dare to remove the insurance industry's holy profit.

[Single-payer health coverage is DUmmieSpeak for Socialized medicine.]

The thing that will save this country from Germany's fate is a strong populist movement NOW. We have to take our power back from the PARASITIC CORPORATE PREDATORS and return the power of the government to the people NOW.

[Is that you, Hugo Chavez?]

Sometimes You gotta be confident in your own right to draw and demand sane social boundaries.And be brave enough to defend and to reinforce them, to protect the social contract that makes living together as people on a planet possible at all.And do whatever it takes.Even if it means being"radical".Sometimes you got to just hit the bully boys back where it hurts the most to make them stop their tyranny and mind games that are tearing up the constitution and undermining every noble ideal that has inspired human beings to desire to be fair and decent in this world to each other.

[Posted the DUmmie with the pizza stains running down his T-shirt from a dark corner of Mommie's basement.]

it's easy to control america -- sell them beer, tv, and a sofa, some folksie pride/jingoism, and a belief in soporific optimism and the populace will eat out of your hand. they'll even tolerate just about all the beatings you can dish out.

[We're just a bunch of mind numbed robots waiting to be jerked by the DUmmie chain.]

DU is a great watering hole and a place to run ideas up the flagpole, but the real action is with our neighbors and politicians. Use them or lose them.

[Then lose them since all this is nothing but DUmmies screeching at other DUmmies.]

THE RIGHT IS MADE UP OF A GANG OF WHINNING SOCIOPATHS. THEY NEVER HAVE A NEW IDEA AND THEY TRY TO SABOUTAGE COMPROMISE.

[Sayeth the DUmmie watching his own projection in the mirror.]

In any case, it has to have better results than our usual approach of surrender and shame and treating progressive values like they're the political version of kiddie porn.

[Kiddie porn? This makes me more convinced that ever that DUmmie Ken Burch is really Ben Burch.]

so how do you explain Kucinich's lack of success as a national candidate?

[Looking like an Evil Elf and having a wife with a pierced tongue doesn't exactly help either.]

I love a good rallying cry. You're right. Now what? Saying we need a plan, leadership, organization, etc., reminds me of a saying I once heard. "If we had ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we had eggs."

[A more appropriate saying for you, Pitt, would be, "If we had rum, we could have rum and coke, if we had coke."]

I worked for Kucinich, worked for PDA, worked within and for several progressive campaigns, and I can tell you one absolute and axiomatic truth, a truth that every progressive politician knows and endures and copes with.

[You worked for Kucinich, Will, until you got fired for stabbing the Evil Elf in the back by secretely feeding campaign documents to the Kerry people.]

The Left is filled to bursting with passionate, informed, patriotic people who want to make change. We are short on passionate people who build lists and organize campaigns.

[Posted Pied Piper Pitt painfully pleading por political position.]

The Right is filled with people who know how to make voter lists, how to canvass an entire city, how to get mailing systems going, how to build phone banks, how to build lists of numbers for the phone banks, how to organize carpools for voters who need assistance reaching the polls...organization is to victory as water is to life.

[The Right is filled with people who don't need to take a strong hit on the bong pipe after a couple of minutes of real work.]

The passion and shouting and anger and emotion is the fun part. We have barrels of that.

[You have beer barrels of that, Will.]

When we get the organizers, we'll be in business.

[Tell them Willie Boy was here, and he WANTS to be an organizer.]

Until we can get those organizers into an organized organization, all we do mostly is shout.

[So form an Organized Organizers Organization.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: benburch; dummies; kenburch; willpitt
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So what do you think? Is DUmmie Ken Burch the same person as Ben Burch?

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 06/17/2007 11:55:01 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


2 posted on 06/17/2007 11:57:05 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

2


3 posted on 06/17/2007 11:58:04 AM PDT by investigateworld ( Those BP guys will do more prison time than most convicted Japanese war criminals ...thanks Bush!)
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To: PJ-Comix
...DUmmie Ken Burch has mind melded with Ben Burch's talleywhacker.

Careful now! Kids read this site, too!

4 posted on 06/17/2007 12:02:27 PM PDT by uglybiker (relaxing in a luxuriant cloud of quality, aromatic, pre-owned tobacco essence)
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To: PJ-Comix

BWAHAHAHAHHAA
(Organized Organizers Organization!)

You owe me a laptop, the monitor is ruined!


5 posted on 06/17/2007 12:04:52 PM PDT by MacDorcha (Peace is not the highest goal - freedom is. -LachlanMinnesota)
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To: PJ-Comix
Until we can get those organizers into an organized organization, all we do mostly is shout.

If a DUmmie shouts in the basement, does it make a sound?

6 posted on 06/17/2007 12:08:43 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: PJ-Comix
The thing that will save this country from Germany's fate is a strong populist movement NOW. We have to take our power back from the PARASITIC CORPORATE PREDATORS and return the power of the government to the people NOW.

Would that be just like the populist National Socialist German Workers' Party overthrew the from the parasitic regime of the Social Democrats (Weimar government) whom they accused of economic conspiracy through a move towards more capitalistic practices?
Maybe they can do this by a form of Volksgemeinschaft, or community work, where the 'community' takes over the corporations? Or maybe they can have a lofty goal like Lebensraum to stop these parasitic corporations by taking control through unions?

Wait, who do they accuse of being fascists?

7 posted on 06/17/2007 12:09:36 PM PDT by mnehring (Virtus Junxit Mors Non Separabit)
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To: PJ-Comix
Face reality, people. centrism is the path to DEFEAT!

Then you'd think it would appeal to the Democrats.

The Democrats put the "D-" in Defeat.

8 posted on 06/17/2007 12:13:49 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (D-Feat.)
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To: PJ-Comix
There are MORE of us then there are of THEM. We're the Silenced Majority, the Rainbow Majority, and the Global People's Majority.

The Silent Global Supercalafragilistic Plastic Fantastic Rainbow Sunshine Moonbeam Global People's Majority!

9 posted on 06/17/2007 12:16:16 PM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: PJ-Comix
There IS no "middle of the road" anymore.

The DUmmies are the dead skunk in the middle of the road.

10 posted on 06/17/2007 12:16:34 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Stinkin' to high, high heaven.)
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To: PJ-Comix
There are MORE of us then there are of THEM. We’re the Silenced Majority, the Rainbow Majority, and the Global People’s Majority.

Sorry folks. The number of distinct and separate personalities in you does not count. It’s still “One Vote per Body!”

11 posted on 06/17/2007 12:17:30 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: PJ-Comix
it's easy to control america -- sell them beer, tv, and a sofa, some folksie pride/jingoism

They just can't stand patriotism, can they? You should have seen the thread earlier today. This DUmmie gets absolutely outraged that the car dealership he visits has the temerity to play the NATIONAL ANTHEM over its loudspeaker system. The horror!

DUmmies, if you don't like America, you're not being forced to stay. I'm sure Fidel or Hugo will make room for you.

12 posted on 06/17/2007 12:18:33 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day (If you don't have borders, you don't have a nation.)
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To: PJ-Comix
We're the Silenced Majority, the Rainbow Majority . . .

. . . the Immoral Majority. . . .

13 posted on 06/17/2007 12:19:29 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Rainbow Not-So-Brite..)
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To: PJ-Comix
We're the Silenced Majority . . .

For a Silenced Majority, you sure do talk a lot.

14 posted on 06/17/2007 12:20:46 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Sounds of Silenced.)
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To: PJ-Comix
There IS no "middle of the road" anymore. There's US and there's THEM. That's all there is.

If only these loonies felt that way about our country's REAL enemies, they might actually be a help rather than a hindrance in our survival.

15 posted on 06/17/2007 12:21:52 PM PDT by hsalaw
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To: PJ-Comix
If we nominate a candidate who mobilizes that majority, WE WIN!

WOO-HOO! Break out the champagne! WE WIN!

16 posted on 06/17/2007 12:23:03 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Freudenschade, baby!)
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To: PJ-Comix
If we nominate another "careful" "statesmanlike" "measured" "nuanced" candidate, WE LOSE.

Consider logging on to the DU Manic-Depressive Forum.

17 posted on 06/17/2007 12:24:57 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (On the DUmmieland roller coaster.)
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To: PJ-Comix
We need to have strong progressive ideals, a coordinated strategy, and the GUTS. . . .

"Ken" Burch, if you are who we think you might be, then you certainly have the gut.

18 posted on 06/17/2007 12:27:15 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (A HUGE gut.)
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To: PJ-Comix
We win if we start the fire. . . .

Here's your man:


19 posted on 06/17/2007 12:32:49 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Algore invented the fire.)
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To: mylife
The Silent Global Supercalafragilistic Plastic Fantastic Rainbow Sunshine Moonbeam Global People's Majority!

LOL! I'm starting to doubt that these DUmmies are loser 20-somethings in their parents' basements. I think they're grey-haired, pony-tailed, sandle-wearing, tie-dyed, druggie old loser 60-somethings living in basement apartments with the bathroom down the hall, and their "life partners" named Flower or Peace or Moonglow, dreaming of the good old drugged-out days in Haight Ashbury and wandering from one "anti-war" rally to another on the busses provided by ANSWER. Those "anti-war" rallies where you see 10s of people protesting.

20 posted on 06/17/2007 12:34:18 PM PDT by hsalaw
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