Posted on 11/08/2005 7:05:44 AM PST by GeorgiaDawg32
As the riots continue into the 12th day, the French Government has issued their sternest warning yet, indicating that an increase of only 75% of government benefits will be issued to rioters instead of the 90% previously discussed.
Jacque Chirac, the current Fiddler of France, contacted influential Imams around the new Republik of Francelamistan and indicated that he is getting really, really mad and will take the additional drastic step of holding his breath till he turns blue if the riots don't stop. The most influential Imam, Izza Tell Inu Togiveup, agreed to issue a fatwa for the riots to stop. In consultations with Chriac, they agreed that if the rioters go back to simply burning synagogues and being generally anti-semetic, they can put this entire mess behind them.
National Chief of Police, Michel Gaudin, has taken the drastic step of ordering old Keystone Kops reels from Hollywood so they can effectively study how to respond to the riots in the finest organized fashion. All police and reservists are ordered to watch these films each night as a curfew has been put into effect forcing the police off the streets as of 8 p.m. This will give the French security forces something to do in their evening hours. As a sidenote, coffee and croissants will be served.
Bluto Blutarski was contacted at Delta House for the second time in as many days for his learned opinion on how the French can best handle this situation given his ongoing battles at Faber College and the infamous Dean Wermer. He mumbled something about a "Road trip", "You make me want to jump", and "When the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor" before he loudly belched and broke a guitar. He also said the "Double Secret Probation" currently in effect regarding the rioters is best fought with a horse and a .45 loaded with blanks.
Iran in the meantime has indicated they'd be willing to help with a "Fact Finding Commission" that has already taken less time with it's recommendations than the O.J. jury took in returning their not guilty verdict. Among the recommendations are, "Headscarves for everyone", "Converting Notre Dame into a Regional Mosque", purchasing the book "Islam for Dummies" and ensuring all citizens of Francelamistan buy their prayer rugs before the pre-ramadan rush takes place.
Additional commentary is forthcoming as the situation warrants.
Peace
Authors note: I appreciate all the funny comments I get regarding my posts. But I must say that if you choose to copy and paste any part of this post into your own commentary, you may NOT do so without my written permission. (I've found my posts on unrelated web-sites with people claiming it as their own).
In other news, France has declared a state of emergency and has requested assistance from Washington.
Keep in mind the current version of France was born of the peoples revolution. Maybe this generation of France's people have just said that we had our and this is their revolution -
It is weird, but totally French.
Bow before the religion of submission le weasels!
This whole FRance thing would be funny if it weren't so sad. How pathetic are they.
agreed..
more double secret probation...
Good one Prime Choice. :-)
Soooo cute!!!
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