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DUmmie FUnnies 06-03-05 ("Are we really going to let the GOP talk us into running Hillary?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 3, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/03/2005 7:16:14 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Has Andy Stephenson entered a DUmmieland Witness Protection Program? For the past few days, ever since Andy began publicly harassing the relatives of Bev Harris by posting their names and personal information about them, Scamdy has DISAPPEARED. In fact ALL MENTION in Dummieland about Scamdy’s “pancreatic cancer” has disappeared and if any there are so bold as to post any reference to Scamdy, Skinner immediately sends it down the Memory Pitt. As to Pied Piper Pitt, following his much ballyhooed posting of documents “proving” that Scamdy did indeed have pancreatic cancer, he has retracted his head into his turtle shell and REFUSES to further comment about those documents. One big reason is that those documents Pitt posted accurately predicted in an April 27 FAX that Scamdy would have surgery during the week of May 23 even though at the time of the FAX the surgery was still scheduled for May 10 and wasn’t rescheduled until almost 2 weeks after the FAX was sent. Right now the DUmmies are hoping that the whole Andy Stephenson Situation (as Skinner called it) would just go away. Unfortunately for Dummieland, the DUmmie FUnnies will STILL shine the light on this scandal which demonstrates what a bunch of dim-witted gullible fools the DUmmies were. Until Scamdy or Skinner or Pitt makes a full public confession (or are indicted) the DUmmie FUnnies will consistently hammer the DUmmies on this subject in all future DUmmie FUnnies. This edition of the DUmmie FUnnies based on a DUmmie THREAD titled, “Are we really going to let the GOP talk us into running Hillary?” will continue smoking out the DUmmies on this point. As usual the DUmmie postings still in Scamdy Denial are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to reveal some inside political info he recently received, is in the [brackets]:

Are we really going to let the GOP talk us into running Hillary?

[Consider it payback for talking us into nominating Bob Dole in 1996. Bob Dole didn’t so much run to win as to merely build up his resume. Somehow this latter seemed very important to Dole in his future career of doing Penile Erectile Dysfunction commercials on TV. At least we have no doubt that Dole suffered from this problem (no one admits to this condition unless they really had it) but we STILL don’t know what sort of medical problem Andy Stephenson had although it was almost certainly NOT pancreatic cancer.]

I think she would be an awful candidate. She's not that great a speaker, clearly not at all concerned about corporate power, posturing more and more "moderate" all of the time. The Senate alone has at least a dozen other Democrats who would make better candidates than her.

[All the more reason why Karl Rove has designated her as your ’08 nominee.]

But the GOP is licking its fetid chops, man. They can just about taste the hatefest they would enjoy if she were running. There would be no holds barred on the calumny and slander that they would rain down on her.

[Karl Rove has put out a directive to NOT accuse Hillary of faking a pancreatic cancer operation. Something like that is OFF-LIMITS.]

They are walking a fine line, though. Having demonized her for more than 10 years now, they need to talk Democrats into getting her through the primaries, so they have to cool it down a bit and talk about what a great potential candidate she would be. David Broder put up a column not too long ago just like that.

[Psst! Why do you think the Bushes and Bill Clinton are acting like buddies now? It’s all part of the Rovian Master Plan.]

But they can't stop talking about her. Both Hannity & Colmes and Bill O'Rodent had segments on her Tuesday night. What other Democratic politician gets so much attention from those loons?

[Kerry recently got a flurry of press attention when he FINALLY signed his Form 180 to release his military records to the public. Yes, he FINALLY signed Form 180 and now we are waiting for him to FINALLY drop that signed form in the mail.]

Thinking "well, if the GOP hates her so much, they must be afraid of her, therefore she would be a great candidate" is the trap the Democrats cannot, must not, walk into. Step away. This will be the most important national IQ test for the Democrats in a long time.

[I am SO CONFIDENT of the low DUmmie IQ that I can flat out state the Rovian Game Plan without the slightest fear that you DUmmies can do anything about it. Hey! If you were DUmb enough to send in your money to Andy Stephenson for a phony pancreatic cancer operation then you certainly will easily be manipulated by Karl Rove despite advance warning.]

Having said all that, I'd vote for her in a heartbeat next to any GOP candidate. But please Lahd, and all my fellow Democrats, please don't let it come to that.

[It WILL come to it. And now to announce the ULTIMATE DUmmie nightmare, DUmmie ProfessorPlum. Not only is Karl Rove saddling you with Hillary but the GOP candidate for ’08 has already been decided upon---Dick Cheney. You think that Bob Woodward story about Cheney being drafted in ’08 was just idle speculation? A Republican Deep Throat handed that story to Woodward to pass along. The fact is if Cheney’s doctors give him the go-ahead and IF Cheney is convinced there is a groundswell of support for him, he WILL run in ’08. Look forward to a CONTINUATION of the Bush policies following the next election.]

condi vs. mccain. rove attacks once again.

[Nope. Cheney vs McCain=Cheney Winner. Rove STRIKES again!]

Let them run their nutcase ... and we should pick someone sensible. I like HC, but she simply has no chance for victory. All the general polls do not change the fact that swing state voters will not bite.

[Nutcase McCain might run but he CAN’T win against Cheney. “President Cheney.” Prepare for those words, DUmmies.]

If the Democratic Party runs Hillary ( a pro-war neodem), it deserves to lose. But we don't. If we can't get the party to wake up, the real Democrats ought to put together their own ticket with real Democrats.

[Hillary WILL be your losing candidate. Live with it.]

the media and GOP dictated who our candidate would be and those fine tuned political machines in Iowa and New Hampshire went for it hook, line and sinker. *cough*assholes*cough* It's been interesting to watch the same exact process being put into motion yet again.

[Interesting and FUnnie to see the Democrats falling for it ONCE AGAIN. ’08 will be a DOUBLE WHAMMIE for you folks. Hillary as your losing nominee and Cheney as OUR President.]

Even if she doesn't run, the GOP will make money on the RW's fear that she will. That's why we're hearing so much about her right now.

[All part of the Vast Rovian Storm. Hillary’s name will raise TONS of money. However, she WILL be your nominee. Make no mistake about that. So Rove has said. So let it be done.]

I guess that now, they want to tout her as the be-all of candidates for Dems in 08. We need someone who can WIN and I'm not sure Hillary can - which is why I think they are trying to ram her down our collective throats. And of course, they've subcontraced the MSM to help them do it.

[Choke on the Hillary in your collective throats!]

Sad to say, I don't like her enough to defend her when the hate fest revs in gear. And, I would never vote for either.

[HILLARY vs CHENEY = GOP LANDSLIDE]

We need her but we are too goddam stupid to elect her, so we don't deserve her.

[Hillary is just TOO GOOD for us. We don’t deserve her. Also we don’t deserve that other candidate for sainthood---Andy Stephenson.]

actually, technically, she is a horrendous speaker that has never squelched the "ah" impulse.

[Ah. You know, Hillary, um, does seem to, you know, have that, ah, problem.]

What if it was MCCain vs Clark. That would be interesting.

[About as realistic as Andy Stephenson’s pancreatic cancer. 2008 will be Hillary vs Cheney. Count on it.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; andystephenson; dummies; hillary2008; hillaryclinton
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Before we plunge into this latest edition of the DUFUs, allow me to direct your attention to this story: Woman Who Faked Cancer Sent To Jail. GASP! There are really people out there who fake having cancer? I bet the DUmmies would have a hard time believing this.

Now on to the BIG NEWS. Apparently Bob Woodward's recent article about a possible Dick Cheney run in 2008 wasn't just idle speculation. I got that word from a Republican Deep Throat (and DUFU fan). IF Cheney gets the okay from his doctors and IF Cheney is convinced there is a big groundswell of support for him, he WILL run in '08. Hopefully Cheney is found to be in good health and doesn't have something really debilitating like pancreatic cancer.

In case you are curious, my source on the Cheney info was NOT Karl Rove. Also it wasn't Mary Matalin. Too bad. If it was Mary Matalin I would arrange for a lunch date to discuss it further. Then instead of talking about Dick Cheney I would spend the entire lunch plugging a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories). However, I was thinking that if the state of Maryland indicts Andy Stephenson for fraud and I was subpoenaed to be a witness there, I wouldn't be too far from Mary Matalin for that lunch date. To arrange a lunch date with ol' PJ here, Mary Matalin only needs to contact me at: PJ-Comix.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 06/03/2005 7:16:15 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix

1?


2 posted on 06/03/2005 7:18:00 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Where's Andy?)
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


3 posted on 06/03/2005 7:18:01 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

2


4 posted on 06/03/2005 7:18:35 AM PDT by NeoCaveman (Send a message, defeat (Pat) Dewine this June 14, www.gobrinkman.com)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 10! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS -- ! :)


5 posted on 06/03/2005 7:21:02 AM PDT by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle ("As a conservative site, Free Republic is pro-G-d, PRO-LIFE..." -- FR founder Jim Robinson)
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To: All
“Every time she opens her mouth, it’s either someone else’s fault or there’s a conspiracy theory. This defendant is a scam artist.”

My FAVORITE quote from the article about the woman faking cancer... And a GREAT description of Scamdy!

6 posted on 06/03/2005 7:21:42 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

The 1st time ever, I made in the top 10. Woo-hoo!


7 posted on 06/03/2005 7:23:15 AM PDT by MoochPooch (A righteous person worries about his or her behavior, an extremist about everyone else's.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I bet Karl Rove posts on DU!

He's got them paranoid!

8 posted on 06/03/2005 7:25:07 AM PDT by airborne (Dear Lord, please be with my family in Iraq. Keep them close to You and safely in Your arms.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Has Andy Stephenson entered a DUmmieland Witness Protection Program?

Now known as "Ellen Day":

This explains what the surgery at Johns Hopkins was for.

9 posted on 06/03/2005 7:25:29 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Where's Andy?)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 20?


10 posted on 06/03/2005 7:26:36 AM PDT by Xenalyte (It's a Zen thing, you know, like how many babies fit in a tire.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Weel, if the DUmmies don't want Hillary, we can always talk them into running Dr. Dean (he is gift that keeps on giving)!

Hey, maybe Dr. Dean is the doctor that signed Undie's John Hopkins forms!

11 posted on 06/03/2005 7:30:34 AM PDT by CAluvdubya (You don't have to bother with me....I'm NON-RELEVANT!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Go Hillary go! LoL!


12 posted on 06/03/2005 7:38:32 AM PDT by demlosers
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To: CAluvdubya
Hey, maybe Dr. Dean is the doctor that signed Undie's John Hopkins forms!

"Pancreatic cancer? YEEEEAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

13 posted on 06/03/2005 7:38:57 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Scream artist meets scam artist.)
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To: CAluvdubya
Hey, maybe Dr. Dean is the doctor that signed Undie's John Hopkins forms!

"That'll be $50,000 please. Up front."

14 posted on 06/03/2005 7:40:53 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Scream artist meets scam artist.)
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To: CAluvdubya

Doc Dean displays the tumor he extracted.

15 posted on 06/03/2005 7:43:09 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Scream artist meets scam artist.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I think it entirely possible that Dr. Dean would put Undie's pancreatic surgery off. Not many doctors would, but Dr. Dean would.

Hmmmmm, his fund raising has been poorly recieved, now hasn't it???

16 posted on 06/03/2005 7:43:51 AM PDT by CAluvdubya (You don't have to bother with me....I'm NON-RELEVANT!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Cheney in '08! Woo Hoo!

17 posted on 06/03/2005 7:44:29 AM PDT by KJC1 (Somebody shook up the Ants!)
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To: PJ-Comix

If the DUmmies think she can't win, then that means one thing only. She can.


18 posted on 06/03/2005 7:45:52 AM PDT by Romish_Papist (The times are out of step with the Catholic Church. God Bless Pope Benedict XVI.)
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To: CAluvdubya

He found another one.

19 posted on 06/03/2005 7:46:37 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Scream artist meets scam artist.)
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To: KJC1

If Cheney gets the okay from his doctors, then he is GO for an '08 run. However, he still needs to be assured of a groundswell of support.


20 posted on 06/03/2005 7:47:54 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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