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Morford: America Loves Kinky Sex
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, December 1, 2004 | Mark Morford

Posted on 12/01/2004 6:07:56 AM PST by presidio9

Here's my suggestion: let them have it. Just do it. Let the sexually bitter and morally frantic conservative groups now dictating governmental policy and FCC agendas and paranoid media attitudes have their time, their brief cultural burp, their little speed bump on the great and beckoning highway that will still lead us all, inexorably, irreversibly, though often agonizingly, toward grinning open-thighed progress.

Because here's the fabulous thing: no matter what these faux-Christian groups do, no matter how hard they oppress and protest and clamp down, this is a road that leads, despite all dour headlines and sour prognostications otherwise, toward spiritual illumination, toward awareness, toward sexual openness and same-sex marriage and revelatory sodomy and free vibrators for teenage girls and lesbians kissing open mouthed in the streets. In Kentucky. In the daytime. On Sunday.

It's true. All this and more, is gonna happen. This is my belief. Superlative homemade pornography and fetish dungeons and happy dildo supermarkets and the utter brilliance of the Suicide Girls and regular people having juicy consensual reasonably kinky respectful sex like it's no big deal, and it's all a matter of time, isn't it, before it will all erupt back to the surface of the culture and spread like hot karmic butter across the land. Maybe? You think?

And when that time comes, we shall look back on Janet Jackson's Nipplegate and the Monday Night Football backlash and the shrill outcry from various conservative and religious groups against the superlative movie "Kinsey" in the same way people look back on old bunions or leg warmers and laugh and point and shake their heads and sigh.

Because right now, we seem to be stuck. Mired. Hateful and narrow and sexually small and the country is right this minute being led, morally speaking,

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


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To: speed_addiction
In Kentucky. In the daytime. On Sunday.

Accepting the award for the "Frog Doesn't Realize It Is Cooked" Award...

Seriously, listen to the contempt and hatred in Morford's line, all from the people who have spent fifty years preaching "tolerance" to us, at least that we should tolerate every deviant thing they come up with. It is oh so true that to these people, their sexuality is EVERYTHING they are...it pervades every thought, word, and deed. If you disagree with the practice on a religious or moral ground, you are no longer given their tolerance, because to disapprove of this thing they do is to them to disapprove of their core...it is everything they are. And then they no longer tolerate YOU, you Midwestern, cave-dwelling, stupid, confused Republican voter!

51 posted on 12/01/2004 6:53:32 AM PST by 50sDad ( ST3d - Star Trek Tri-D Chess! http://my.oh.voyager.net/~abartmes)
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To: presidio9
Every time I read ome of Morford's articles I feel like I need to take a shower. This guy is just plain creepy!

The central theme behind all of his opinions seems to be that he's mortally afraid that some mean old Bush supporter is going to make him stop having gay sex.

Hey Marky! You'd be surprised how many of us don't really give a rat's ass about your personal sexual preferences or what you do with other men down at the waterfront late Saturday nights.

Ya creep me out anyway. I think you should be bombarded with lots of detailed descriptions of the joys of heterosex, and Ozzie and Harriet lifestyles, just so you'd understand how your opinions ring with normal people.

We KNOW you are a freak! You don't have to tell us about it every day.

52 posted on 12/01/2004 6:59:47 AM PST by Kenton ("Life is tough, and it's really tough when you're stupid" - Damon Runyon)
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To: presidio9
. . . and lesbians kissing open mouthed in the streets. In Kentucky. In the daytime. On Sunday.

Only if they are two hot lesbians. No butch girls and NO gay guys. We Kentuckians are VERY selective in the types of immorality we allow. LOL

53 posted on 12/01/2004 7:00:41 AM PST by Bluegrass Conservative
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To: gridlock
That wasn't what bothered me.

But now that you mention it, I do have to wonder why the perpetrators of both incidents, white and black, were so willing to play into outdated miscegenation stereotypes. Justin Timberlake, white boy, takin' what he wants from a black woman, isn't that nice and original. And Nicolette Sheridan might as well have said "Pleasure me, Mandingo!" to that ballplayer whose name escapes me.

That is pretty sick, but on the part of the performers---not the people who objected to the performance.

54 posted on 12/01/2004 7:01:55 AM PST by hellinahandcart
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To: Gingersnap
Every study I've ever seen on the subject repeatedly highlights the fact that married Christian women have the BEST time in bed...

Morford would claim that is because their expectations are so low. ;)

55 posted on 12/01/2004 7:03:29 AM PST by Mr. Jeeves
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To: Semper Paratus

He's probably into kinkier things: like having sex with dogs, cats, rabbits, chickens, etc.


56 posted on 12/01/2004 7:04:40 AM PST by JesseHousman
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To: Bluegrass Conservative

"Only if they are two hot lesbians. No butch girls and NO gay guys. We Kentuckians are VERY selective in the types of immorality we allow. LOL"

An unusually tall Korean/American stripper once expressed interest in having a threesome with my girlfriend and I. I was very intrigued.

A short, fat and very drunk Trailer Park type proposed the same thing, I was very offended.

It is all in the packaging I guess. :)


57 posted on 12/01/2004 7:04:40 AM PST by speed_addiction (Ninja's last words, "Hey guys. Watch me just flip out on that big dude over there!")
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To: cyncooper
No, I'm sorry, but race has nothing to do with it. Most of us didn't even take notice of that part.

The older I get, the more I admire (flawed but human) Martin Luther King. I too dream of a color-blind society where every person is judged upon the contents of his heart and head. What a shame that what passes for black leaders today are more racist than the Klan, and won't let America forget about racism, which I honestly think we could if they would spend more time acting like Bill Cosby and encouraging their people to act responsibly, get a good education, and act like families.

Ghandi freed his people from British oppression not by whining about how oppressed they were and that they could never achive, but by encouraging them to be responsible humans that impressed the British and shamed them into acting responsibly towards them. I think we would be a color-blind society today if black "leaders" did the same to their followers, rather than blaming everything on everybody else. I have observed far more black racists in my forty-plus years than I have seen white racists.

There was a radio personality a few years ago who was being beaten up over the "Reparations" movement. He made the following statement: "I will give you and your friends a thousand dollars each for every day you have been a slave, and a thousand dollars each for every day I have ever owned slaves."

I dream of the day MLK dreamed of.

58 posted on 12/01/2004 7:05:02 AM PST by 50sDad ( ST3d - Star Trek Tri-D Chess! http://my.oh.voyager.net/~abartmes)
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To: presidio9
free vibrators for teenage girls

So he's a pervert AND a communist.

59 posted on 12/01/2004 7:06:06 AM PST by hellinahandcart
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To: gridlock
It is interesting to me that both the "Nipplegate" incident and the MNF imbroglio involved inter-racial sexual innuendo. Is this what has people so upset?

I don't think so. My hubby is far from a prude and he was watching the half-time show with the kids (11/12) when he saw it. I think that the part that he wasn't pleased about was that there was no opportunity to do *anything* to prevent them seeing a stripshow. The kids were more shocked and scandalized than we were and it bugged him that now we had to have a "talk" with the kids when there should've been no need.

And all that from an ultra-nonreligious agnostic who just loves his kids.

60 posted on 12/01/2004 7:06:29 AM PST by Marie (~shhhhh...~ The liberals are sleeping....)
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To: cjshapi

Madame, I aim to please.


61 posted on 12/01/2004 7:07:02 AM PST by Junior (FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC)
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To: mewzilla

This guy comes off like Satan


62 posted on 12/01/2004 7:07:57 AM PST by Vision ("When you trust in yourself, you're trusting in the same wisdom that created you")
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To: presidio9

More desperate screeching from the perverts among us. God save their souls from this vile pit!

<><


63 posted on 12/01/2004 7:09:37 AM PST by viaveritasvita (God poured His love out on us! Romans 5:5-8)
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To: presidio9

We ought to move this guy up front and center. He needs a louder microphone so the whole country can see the compassionate side of the liberal agenda.


64 posted on 12/01/2004 7:11:41 AM PST by Nonstatist
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To: speed_addiction
An unusually tall Korean/American stripper once expressed interest in having a threesome with my girlfriend and I. I was very intrigued.

Go on.....

65 posted on 12/01/2004 7:12:13 AM PST by Modernman (Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin)
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To: presidio9

Why do I get the feeling this guy is a "pillow-biting, alternate lifestyler?"


66 posted on 12/01/2004 7:19:14 AM PST by CTOCS (This space left intentionally blank...)
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To: Modernman

"Go on....."

Well, that is as far as it got. She had been kinda "touchy-feely" with my girlfriend most of the night and Yvette was responding in kind. At least until they got to that "line" that she did not feel comfortable going across (inspite of my incessant efforts at trying to push her across).

This happens quite a bit with Yvette. She has mocha colored skin, green eyes and has this very seductive aura (Catherine Zeta Jones has it) and she inspires longing looks in both men and women.

She is also an MD (her twin sister is a lawyer) and as incredible as it may seem, I met her on the internet a couple of months after I got out of prison three years ago.


67 posted on 12/01/2004 7:19:33 AM PST by speed_addiction (Ninja's last words, "Hey guys. Watch me just flip out on that big dude over there!")
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To: presidio9

Hateful and narrow and sexually small<<<

Morford describes his mental and physical attributes quite well.


68 posted on 12/01/2004 7:21:39 AM PST by hushpad
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To: presidio9
"But here's the fabulous news: the pendulum, it always swings. The recoil always happens."

I wonder if Miss Markie ever stopped to consider that what we've recently witnessed is an "enough is enough!" reaction to to the anything goes attitude that culminated in the Clinton White House tenure that included bj's in the Oval Office and new uses for cigars. Maybe Ms. Morford and his ilk just don't realize that the pendulum has swung as far as it will go to the left, and now sanity, good taste and decorum has started to come back into vogue in America...

69 posted on 12/01/2004 7:25:11 AM PST by Exeter
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To: The Iguana

Hey Morford,
...Got Aids Yet?


70 posted on 12/01/2004 7:25:54 AM PST by cloud8
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To: presidio9

History is cluttered with the wreckage of nations that became indifferent to God, and died.


71 posted on 12/01/2004 7:27:13 AM PST by Little Pig (Is it time for "Cowboys and Muslims" yet?)
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To: Exeter

Heh, heh. Heh, heh. Uhhhhh, you had post #69.

72 posted on 12/01/2004 7:28:38 AM PST by brewcrew
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To: speed_addiction
Well, that is as far as it got. She had been kinda "touchy-feely" with my girlfriend most of the night and Yvette was responding in kind.

My wife is kind of stripper-bait, too. Not that I'm complaining, of course. It's always more fun to go to the strip club if you have women with you. You get way better treatment from the dancers, waitresses and bouncers.

If you don't mind me asking, what state was this in? The reason I'm asking is that in DC and VA, there's no lap dances and up in MD (especially Baltimore) the laps dances are outrageously expensive ($50 in some places).

73 posted on 12/01/2004 7:36:43 AM PST by Modernman (Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin)
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To: 50sDad
the human animal is, by nature, deeply sexual and experimental and quite happily perverted and there's not a damn thing they can really do about it?

Even worse, the above is what they really think of themselves and all of us. That we're animals and therefore unable to overcome or do anything about our instincts. I've got a news flash: Boys CAN control themselves. Girls CAN save it for marriage and avoid teenage unwed motherhood. Homosexuals CAN give up their faggotry (through celibacy if all else fails) if they are motivated to do so.

These people are so thoroughly infused with evil that it's hard to imagine. Morford does a service by revealing the depths to which depravity has gone.

74 posted on 12/01/2004 7:38:41 AM PST by johnb838 ("To Hell They Will Go" -- The Iyad Allawi Story.)
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To: hellinahandcart

I think you have articulated an aspect I hadn't thought of, and it seems very credible to me.


75 posted on 12/01/2004 7:41:42 AM PST by cyncooper
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To: presidio9

Wow, another manifesto of self-appointed, self-proclamating moral authority from the cult zealot Religious Left. What a surprise.

Yawn.


76 posted on 12/01/2004 7:42:41 AM PST by Free Vulcan
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To: mewzilla
"That is one unhappy, unhealthy human being."

Truer words were never spoken.

77 posted on 12/01/2004 7:45:00 AM PST by MEGoody (Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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To: jdm

About 8 years ago, USA Today reported a detailed study conducted over several years.

One of the findings was that born-again Christians (Evangelicals and Charismatics) had sex more often and were far more satisfied with their sex lives than any other group in the USA.

They were also found to be more open to other forms of sexual expression (oral sex, role-playing, etc) than virtually any other group. Of course, these sexual relationships were monogomous and within the context of marriage.

I guess God's way works, after all.


78 posted on 12/01/2004 7:46:18 AM PST by Skooz (Kerry Voters = Parasites of Freedom: 56,936,504 Americans obeyed Osama's orders)
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To: Modernman

"If you don't mind me asking, what state was this in? The reason I'm asking is that in DC and VA, there's no lap dances and up in MD (especially Baltimore) the laps dances are outrageously expensive ($50 in some places)."

We live in Texas, but the Korean/American girl we met on a trip to Vegas. Lap dances here in Texas run about $20-$25 but a lot of places have "Twofer Tuesdays."


79 posted on 12/01/2004 7:46:26 AM PST by speed_addiction (Ninja's last words, "Hey guys. Watch me just flip out on that big dude over there!")
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To: presidio9
Morford: America Loves Kinky Sex

I cannot believe it.

I actually agree with Morford.

80 posted on 12/01/2004 7:47:36 AM PST by Lazamataz ("Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown" -- harpseal)
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To: cyncooper

Well, my main objection was that both episodes were tasteless, juvenile (especially that godawful mess passing as a script, for the MNF bit), gratuitous and UTTERLY UNRELATED TO FOOTBALL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD---but once gridlock mentioned it, I realized there was a lot of other material to object to as well.

I still don't think it's the audience that has "the problem". It's the performers who were so eager to degrade themselves with this stuff, and who were so surprised they weren't universally applauded for it.


81 posted on 12/01/2004 7:48:54 AM PST by hellinahandcart
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To: presidio9

Morfordite alert!


82 posted on 12/01/2004 7:55:25 AM PST by SmithL
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To: Modernman
Are you taking this yo-yo seriesly or just jerkin him along?
83 posted on 12/01/2004 7:55:36 AM PST by iconoclast (Conservative, not partisan)
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To: iconoclast

Cue the Twilight Zone music cause you're reading my mind.


84 posted on 12/01/2004 8:00:24 AM PST by Quilla
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To: Quilla

Did you listen to John Gambling this morning?


85 posted on 12/01/2004 8:09:48 AM PST by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: docbnj
Hi docbnj-

Posted by docbnj:
"...What most amuses me about liberals is their media-induced belief that their opponents are up-tight and unhappy. Actually, all you need to do is compare postings on various different websites, and you will observe that the conservative sites are more confident, humorous, and at the same time serious. The liberals are paranoid, degenerate, and have trouble making or understanding a joke. Paradoxically, that is what makes them so funny..."


Excellent post, docbnj. Your observations match what I have witnessed for many years. The level of outright anger exhibited by the liberals is shocking. They're all about "tolerance and diversity" but will go into attack-mode in an instant. They have an unfortunate lack of humor and couldn't spot a double-entendre if they were led to it.

In addition to views on sexuality, one of my favorite topics is their view on firearms. It is common to see postings on DU saying something like, "All guns should be illegal. We should search all houses suspected of containing firearms, and if any are found...the owners should be executed on the spot..." In this example of firearms, they have no room for diversity. Their same inflexibility exists on a variety of topics.

One wonders if Mark Morford would really be happy with that world he described in his latest rant.

~ Blue Jays ~

86 posted on 12/01/2004 8:09:59 AM PST by Blue Jays (Rock Hard, Ride Free)
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To: presidio9

Nope, we don't get Gambling in my neck of the woods. Why, was he humming that tune?


87 posted on 12/01/2004 8:13:15 AM PST by Quilla
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To: presidio9

Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken


88 posted on 12/01/2004 8:15:11 AM PST by Ben Ficklin
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To: hellinahandcart
free vibrators for teenage girls

So he's a pervert AND a communist

Just so. The free market can solve this problem.

89 posted on 12/01/2004 8:15:45 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Am Yisrael Chai!)
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To: presidio9
What gets me about Morford and other liberals when they talk about sex:

they go on and on and-on-and-on-and-on-and-on-and-on-and-on about what other people think about them having sex, who doesn't want them to have sex, blah blah blah.

I think they all have complexes about their mother looking over their shoulder.

Go have sex with a tree or a chair or your dog and just shut up about it. NO ONE CARES!!

90 posted on 12/01/2004 8:19:03 AM PST by Old Lady
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To: presidio9

Somebody needs to get Ms Morford back on her meds.


91 posted on 12/01/2004 8:19:36 AM PST by Gritty ("I'm sick of talking about 'values,' pretending I have them or care..."-Michael Kinsley)
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To: Quilla

He had Flipper (Sean Hannity's former prodcution manager on). She was insisting that ESP was real and wanted to prove it. He was playing the Twilight Zone theme in the background.


92 posted on 12/01/2004 8:30:47 AM PST by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: presidio9

Then I wonder why Flipper never heard that lobster screaming "Stop, that's fresh water you're about to release me into!" LOL.


93 posted on 12/01/2004 8:37:10 AM PST by Quilla
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To: LanPB01


How come everytime someone mentions lesbians they are always described as attractive or hot?

Those kind of Lesbians are few and far between. The Lesbians I see are not the ones you want to see kissing ANYTHING.


94 posted on 12/01/2004 9:14:43 AM PST by Skinn_dogg
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To: Skinn_dogg
This thread seems a bit too sensitive to post the pic... but maybe these are what they are thinking of? (no nudity)
95 posted on 12/01/2004 9:25:19 AM PST by Dead Corpse (Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.)
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To: Semper Paratus
What? Is Morford projecting again?

I would hate to think he's still all excited about the sexual revolution and utterly clueless as to its consequences.

But, then again, he is a brainy liberal.

96 posted on 12/01/2004 9:59:08 AM PST by Reactionary
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To: LanPB01
When someone finds these hot lesbians kissing on the streets in Kentucky . . . Ping me.

To the author's credit, he didn't actually say they would be hot.

97 posted on 12/01/2004 10:25:17 AM PST by TenaciousZ
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To: Conspiracy Guy
Maybe Hillary will hire him
LOL! - good one!
98 posted on 12/01/2004 10:46:21 AM PST by GrandEagle
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To: Reactionary

bump


99 posted on 12/01/2004 11:37:14 AM PST by Centurion2000 (Truth, Justice and the Texan Way)
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To: Bluegrass Conservative

In Kentucky, liking sex better than basketball is considered perverted.


100 posted on 12/01/2004 11:44:24 AM PST by TASMANIANRED (Free the Fallujah one)
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