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Money Manners: If my Date Doesn’t Reach for Her Wallet, What Should I Do?
San Jose Mercury News ^ | August 17, 2017 | EANNE FLEMING and LEONARD SCHWARZ

Posted on 08/17/2017 9:44:34 PM PDT by nickcarraway

Q: I’m a 50-year-old guy who’s been divorced for about a year. I’m beginning to date again, but I’m uncertain who pays for what. A friend tells me that he always pays for the first date when he goes out to dinner with someone new. But after that, he splits the check 50/50, unless there’s a special reason not to, like it’s her birthday. This sounds reasonable to me. But what should I do if, on the second date, the woman doesn’t reach for her wallet as I reach for mine? My friend says he just tells his date, “It looks like your share’s about $X” and hands her the bill. I’m not sure I’m that brave.

A: We once heard a female comic say: “Of course, I’m a feminist. Not a buy-my-own-drinks feminist, but still a feminist.” Our point is, you’re right to be concerned that some of the women you date may be slow to reach for their wallets. But fear not. You’ll find your own voice for proposing to split the dinner tab as the dates — and the bills — start to pile up. Just to be clear that there is nothing wrong with asking a woman to pay for her share of dinner. The problem with your friend’s “50/50 after the first date” rule is that one size does not fit all. Au contraire.

Even by the second meal out, you’ll probably have a more nuanced financial relationship with a new or prospective romantic partner than you do with, say, a friend at work. So instead of worrying too much about when and how to ask your date to get out her credit card, spend more time considering how you’ll want to handle the situation if you begin seeing someone regularly who has significantly

(Excerpt) Read more at mercurynews.com ...


TOPICS: Food; Hobbies; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: date; dating; men; women
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To: nickcarraway
but I’m uncertain who pays for what

Dude, if you can't afford her Big Mac and diet Coke then perhaps you shouldn't be dating.

41 posted on 08/17/2017 10:37:40 PM PDT by Cementjungle
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To: nickcarraway

If you expect her to pay for dinner at 50 and she’s likely younger

Then be prepared to have masturbation as your best pal

Women who date old men like me

Expect to be treated

Period


42 posted on 08/17/2017 10:39:20 PM PDT by wardaddy (Virtue signalers should be shsot...conservative ones racked and hanged then fed to dogs)
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To: nickcarraway
"Given your lack of reassortment skills, have you considered the monastic life? "

Wasn't directing that to you, Nick - that was aimed at the moron writing to Miss Manners..

43 posted on 08/17/2017 10:42:23 PM PDT by Chainmail (A simple rule of life: if you can be blamed, you're responsible.)
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To: BenLurkin
Here's one you need to watch out for: Once when I was young and foolish I went with a beautiful young woman and paid for everything. Meals, hotel, airfares, everything. Then one day she said, "How about if you let me get the check for dinner tonight?" I said sure, thanks. And let her. Afterward she was totally steamed and insulted that I actually let her buy a dinner (once, after several years.)

Lesson learned: when it comes to money, never trust a woman. If you want the relationship to stay on an even keel, just pay the freight and chalk it up.

44 posted on 08/17/2017 10:42:26 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: hinckley buzzard

The one who asks pays. My husband always paid when we dated and still does to this day, but since I am an inexpensive date (don’t drink alcohol and prefer salads) he doesn’t seem to mind eating steak while I eat the pre-dinner greens.


45 posted on 08/17/2017 10:46:48 PM PDT by TheWriterTX (Trust not in earthly princes....)
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To: hinckley buzzard
Fun thread, but I must admit, I have no idea what ‘a Shoney’s’ is. Steak house or something, or fast food?
46 posted on 08/17/2017 10:47:29 PM PDT by Radix (Natural Born Citizens have Citizen parents)
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To: nickcarraway

No, I was expected to celebrate its centennial in a couple years, which will probably be the theme-stick, craptastic And compelling reason for electing Fauxcahontas in 2020...


47 posted on 08/17/2017 10:51:39 PM PDT by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: nickcarraway

Anyway, I would have, as all good things have come from Republican initiatives.

All civil rights the era 13th 14th 15th amendment on and on and on and on


48 posted on 08/17/2017 10:53:01 PM PDT by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: hinckley buzzard

I’m glad you got rid of her. Not all women are that way. My husband still pays, but since my salary covers all the household bills, his salary is the discretionary money; otherwise I would pick up the tab.


49 posted on 08/17/2017 10:56:28 PM PDT by TheWriterTX (Trust not in earthly princes....)
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To: Radix

Shoneys is an inexpensive eatery typically found in the south. They have an amazing buffet breakfast.


50 posted on 08/17/2017 10:58:42 PM PDT by TheWriterTX (Trust not in earthly princes....)
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To: TheWriterTX
Shoneys is an inexpensive eatery typically found in the south.

IIRC they used to be called, "Sambo's".

51 posted on 08/17/2017 10:59:34 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Newbomb Turk
I'm 57, I aways pay.

She won't respect you and she's got you pegged as a free meal. Not you specifically but as a rule of thumb - dinner is WAY out of line for a first date. She's going for a paper cup of water on date one or she's not going.

52 posted on 08/17/2017 11:00:17 PM PDT by atc23 (The Confederacy was the single greatest conservative resistance to federal authority ever)
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To: nickcarraway

It depends on who asked who out....the asker always pays.....unless it has been agreed upon before hand.


53 posted on 08/17/2017 11:00:37 PM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: fella
Whoever gives the invitation pays.

Yep. And that individual sticking his or her date with the tab deserves whatever happens next. Which is very unlikely to be happy.

54 posted on 08/17/2017 11:00:51 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Radix
LOL A Shoney's is the Southern equivalent to something like a Denny's.No big deal but not McDonalds either.
55 posted on 08/17/2017 11:00:55 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: usconservative

Sounds like a good woman who appreciates a gentleman. Well done. Hope shes a keeper.


56 posted on 08/17/2017 11:01:09 PM PDT by TheWriterTX (Trust not in earthly princes....)
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To: PGR88

Then she is a wanna be


57 posted on 08/17/2017 11:03:19 PM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: Radix

Why, Shoneys is the home of the All Star Breakfast and all you can eat pancakes!
IHOP? Denneys? Big plastic menu?

I’ve been hitched so long, 30+ years, my date small talk would prolly be something like:
“So, didja get enough to eat? Are you full?”
“You have to go to the bathroom ... again?”

I miss Golden Corral. It was all-you-can-eat of EVERYthing. It’s a car parts store now. Believe a big part of the problem was failing to refrigerate their food.


58 posted on 08/17/2017 11:05:05 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: all armed conservatives)
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To: Billthedrill

That’s the manners I learned as a child in the 50s.


59 posted on 08/17/2017 11:05:47 PM PDT by fella ("As it was before Noah so shall it be again,")
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To: nickcarraway

you wanna get some lovin’ ?

you pay for dinner


60 posted on 08/17/2017 11:06:11 PM PDT by vooch (America First Drain the Swamp)
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