Posted on 08/17/2017 9:44:34 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Q: I’m a 50-year-old guy who’s been divorced for about a year. I’m beginning to date again, but I’m uncertain who pays for what. A friend tells me that he always pays for the first date when he goes out to dinner with someone new. But after that, he splits the check 50/50, unless there’s a special reason not to, like it’s her birthday. This sounds reasonable to me. But what should I do if, on the second date, the woman doesn’t reach for her wallet as I reach for mine? My friend says he just tells his date, “It looks like your share’s about $X” and hands her the bill. I’m not sure I’m that brave.
A: We once heard a female comic say: “Of course, I’m a feminist. Not a buy-my-own-drinks feminist, but still a feminist.” Our point is, you’re right to be concerned that some of the women you date may be slow to reach for their wallets. But fear not. You’ll find your own voice for proposing to split the dinner tab as the dates — and the bills — start to pile up. Just to be clear that there is nothing wrong with asking a woman to pay for her share of dinner. The problem with your friend’s “50/50 after the first date” rule is that one size does not fit all. Au contraire.
Even by the second meal out, you’ll probably have a more nuanced financial relationship with a new or prospective romantic partner than you do with, say, a friend at work. So instead of worrying too much about when and how to ask your date to get out her credit card, spend more time considering how you’ll want to handle the situation if you begin seeing someone regularly who has significantly
(Excerpt) Read more at mercurynews.com ...
you pay for the CONDOMS, KY LUBE, DINNER, TUMS, MOTEL, TAXI RIDE HOME,,,,,
and the postcard saying it’s over...and was it good for you ...??? and if it was send a postcard requesting a second date.... that ought to solve your dating problems...
no wonder this 50/15 year old needs other’s advice...
If she doesn’t pay, withhold sex from her.
If a guy asks a lady to dinner, then HE should pay.
If a lady asks a guy to dinner, then he should offer to split the bill.
The person who does the asking should pay at least part of it, but that’s only in a romantic situation. If you’re just friends, and the invitation is something like, “do you want to grab a bite?” it should be dutch.
Mark
I have always paid for dinner for the lady:
It is a sign of respect to her.
It allows you to control future dinners.
You can more easily invite her to your place for take in or grilling.
She can more easily invite you to her place for dinner.
A really romantic dinner can be:
A selection of crackers, good wine. Buy the cheese as chunks and cut it with a pocket knife. Fruit adds a festive note.
That is funny!
Yea, as I recall, Benihanna has always been quite pricey... I guess you’re paying for the show mostly. My wife and I eat out a lot, and the local Thai/Sushi places really give us the best bang for the buck around here. I love Thai food and she loves Sushi, to it works for us. Its usually around $50 for the 2 of us at these places.
And that right there is the key: being a gentleman. Dating doesn't have to be expensive. It really doesn't. It's all about how you treat your date, the values one has, expresses and displays, and how you treat others while on the date.
Despite what feminists say, women still do appreciate doors being opened, hearing "please" and "thank you" to wait staff, their dates being generous tippers and other "old school" gentlemanly behavior.
I'm almost 55. Never thought I'd find myself out on the dating scene again at this late stage of my life. Much has changed, some things have not. Being a gentleman never goes out of style. Just sayin'...
You're exactly right it's stupid simple! Any man who knows how to cook (and I'm not talking just unboxing something and heating it up -- I'm talking cooking from scratch) is almost instantly sexy to a woman.
Really want to turn her on? Cook together. If in her kitchen, let her lead. If in your kitchen, you drive. Yup, works every time!
I wonder how people dating these days handle the subject of politics... seems like that could pretty much put an abrupt end to the date if you're both not on the same page. Maybe you have to pre-screen them before the first date even to avoid that situation.
Yeah, I've seen some of those relationships work out and some more that didn't. Everybody's all nice and gentle at the beginning and then stand by once citizenship and control of the bank account takes place.
Still, it could be worse: Russians.
You my friend know how to hang onto a woman. I salute you my Prince.
The guy always pays (as it’s worth the price of admission:-)
If I invite someone to dinner, I pay the cheque. If someone invites ME to dinner, I expect that person to pay for it. Unless arrangements are made prior to the date, you had better be in a position to pay for the date. You don’t invite someone out and then spring it on them that they have to pay. What if the other person’s budget won’t allow an unexpected expense? You risk making yourself look like an ass as you humiliate the other.
Geeze, talk about run away me-ism! Total stupidity but it seems endemic anymore.
My wife gives this advice. Don’t do on the first date more than you can do at least once a year every year. You need to find a women that can live within your means. Or at least can live with you living within your means. Its not just whether you find her attractive and you like her. Its whether you like to do the same things too. Finding the right women is tricky. And there are a lot of attractive nice women who you just don’t fit with. Keep trying sooner or later you will find agirl that you like and likes you even if you don’t have too much money for meals.
“I have no idea what ‘a Shoney’s’ is. “
Many have given great answers to your question...but I’ll add a twist.
Not sure if Shoney’s still has “drive-in” style dining, but that was the norm in Charlotte, NC back in the “60s. They had the dine-in restaurant, but you could also pull in under the multi-car covered parking & walkway and order thru the mic. An attendant would deliver your food and collect the money.
On Friday/Saturday nights, the three Shoney’s in town were THE place to go for high school students (there were a couple South 21 Drive-Ins...same setup). Kids would drive thru the outside dining area, over and over...just circling thru, looking for friends or just being “cool”. Each Shoney’s/South 21’s were the home territory of certain high schools. If you ventured to another high school’s turf...you risked a confrontation.
Oh, the good ol’ days...
Nailed it! (pun intended)
Nailed it! (pun intended)
I am so far removed from the dating scene after 37 years of marriage. But when I DID date, the guy always picked up the check. Always. The woman would, in turn, make him a very lovely dinner at her home, but never to my memory picked up a dinner check.
Great story. :)
;-)
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