Posted on 08/10/2017 3:01:25 PM PDT by wardaddy
My best friend since since summer pads training August 1971 at Jackson Prep in Jackson Mississippi died at Driftwood nursing hospice in Long Beach Mississippi on the gulf coast last week.
He'd been in hospice first in Jackson then down there since February and his 6 foot 3 frame had wasted from 180 down to 103 after complications from diabetes and heart failure and pancreatic failure and a fungal cyst in his lungs which was inoperable and of course horrific neuropathy all brought on by alcohol abuse which he'd quit too late a few years ago at age 55
His sister a devoted catholic gal from Pass Christian and I and my family was about all he had or wanted these last months
I'd made the trek from middle Tenneseee ever 2-3 weeks these past six months and it's the best thing I ever did in my life
I wouldn't trade it for anything even though it was often painful to witness his aplomb and bravery in the face of a hard death was inspiring to me and my sons and daughters
He and I had braved many a war zone and dangerous environs through truly serious life threatening cisrcumstance from Sierra Leone to Colombia to Nicaragua to Zaire to Nicaragua and Honduras and El Salvador and Amazonia
He never flinched even when so called professionals ran or broke weak
And he could handle wet work though he tempered my anger gratefully which saved us the consequence that would have wrought
But he loved drink same as all the men in every generation of his paternal line since the Reconstruction
We had parted ways 15 years ago given his lack of appreciation for my newfound domesticated bliss with Wifey
Kind of went off the deep end
But when his sister let me know it was bad I reentered his life and in some ways our friendship became even more really
And he loved my children and vice versa
They had always had heard of him and then got to know him
When I first went to the facility all the nurses and orderlies asked me if he was just making stuff up about his life of exploits and I informed them hell yes he'd did those things and then some....
It took him a while and he faded slowly
Smoked like a chimney..When he could ....Reds naturally
I'd light them for him ....I quit in 1990
His record was 23 end to end ....crazy to any smoker
His last breath was drawn on a Marlboro Red which is just about how I woulda figured it
I think the lung thing got him...
He was a very very good looking young man..similar to Daniel Day Lewis in Last of the Mohicans
Women threw themselves at him all his life but like most alcoholics the love of his life was booze
He did quit eventually all on his own cold turkey and almost died but he eschewed rehab
He did believe in twelve steps though
I've got two stories that describe his crazy fearlessness
Poets bar Jackson Miss in 1985 he spies this lovely blonde who's alas with her husband
He pinches her butt anyhow and grins under the influence
He and hubster take it outside and damn if hubster doesn't take his Bmw 528 and drive into him and EC bounces up and over the hood onto the pavement .....hubster wheels around to now run him slap over
EC is of course defiant holding his ground already beat up with road rash etc. and fortunately some bystanders got him out of he way at last moment
Guy was from the delta and unknown ...he skated
Another time I'm looking for him late at night at the reservoir clubs which stayed open till dawn
I finally reach the edgwater club and I see a crowd circle in the gravel lot
Well we all know what that means I knew I'd found him
There he was same sort of jealous husband conflict and he's beat down bloodied and torn at 2am and folks see me and figure i can get him to listen
His first words are a command to stay away Charlie i got this as he's pulling himself up from the dirt....lol..
His opponent a Jack Lambert lookalike is begging me to please get him outta there....but he wouldn't listen
Fortunately I had my Arkansas cotton farmers daughter girlfriend with me and he adored her
She's out there in her short short cutoffs and tube top and dr scholls wooden clickety clack sandals (the era) begging him to please leave with us
He did finally to the emergency room for stictches and wound cleansing
He was crazy but just brave as hell...
Never whined or feared death....
His sister and I found him almost dead two weeks ago and we both started crying over his bed and damn if he didn't wake up and scold us for being crying assed pu$$ies and he was ready to go smoke..lol
You should have seen me trying to testify to him about salvation at his sisters insistence...i did my best......I ain't no parson
He finally gave in to what he knew was right in his heart and how he'd been reared
And I'm sure glad he did
junior high school and high school and ole miss and a life of adventure together
A helluva ride
Edwin I salute you
Flawed like me but so much braver
Godspeed
So sorry for your loss. Wishing you many blessings
Nicely done, What a guy!. I especially liked your description of the farmers daughter “She’s out there in her short short cutoffs and tube top and dr scholls wooden clickety clack sandals (the era)”
I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend.
Your writing and remembrances were worthy of your friend.
Thanks for sharing.
Sorry for your loss, Wardaddy.
Losing folks is never easy.
Lost one of my dear buddies last September. Had the honor and privilege of being there to bid farewell as he left us. Vietnam vet, retired homicide detective. A Sheepdog, damned fine American Patriot, and a true friend.
We all go Home eventually.
Best we can hope for is to have the folks we care about and who care about us around us to wish us off and raise a glass to us on the anniversary.
My condolences to and yours, friend.
That was beautiful.
I’m sorry for your loss, FRiend.
Life is short. We will all meet God face to face.
Godspeed indeed.
He sounds like quite a man. he was fortunate to have you as a friend and it looks like vice versa. Believe you will see him again in the next life.
1985 he spies this lovely blonde who’s alas with her husband
He pinches her butt anyhow and grins under the influence
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That is hardly a hero.
What a story, and a good ending. You did for him what a true friend would do.
PRAISE THE LORD!!!, sounds like he was saved by the name of Jesus. So happy for him, and you. We should never give up praying and believing for those we love.
The world needs people with soul. Fewer of these conformist pajama boys and snotty, slutty ho women. Guys with guts. Women with pride as well as beauty.
Your bud sounds like one of those characters we need more of. I didn't even know the man and I miss him. Say adios for me ...
Perhaps not a gentleman.
But heroes are different stuff.
Heroes put their own lives in harm’s way for their friends or duty.
Heroes are often flawed in ways that disturb other people because a normal man thinks twice when it comes to putting his life on the line.
Heroes don’t hesitate to do that and other things like pinching a beautiful woman’s behind.
You seem to be confusing hero with role model. The one isn’t necessarily the other, far from it.
So very sorry to hear it, wardaddy. Condolences to you and all your family.
That is hardly a hero.
Perhaps not a gentleman.
But heroes are different stuff.
Heroes put their own lives in harm’s way for their friends or duty.
Heroes are often flawed in ways that disturb other people because a normal man thinks twice when it comes to putting his life on the line.
Heroes don’t hesitate to do that and other things like pinching a beautiful woman’s behind.
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So heroes get carte blanche? Is that your position? It’s one thing to be understanding of circumstances in the past that lead to actions present. It’s quite another to be subjugated to those actions. And all you fools making excuses for a Good Time Charlie in the name of compassion don’t help those that fit that profile, or yourselves or yours. They need help. Not your blind eye.
You seem to be confusing hero with role model. The one isn’t necessarily the other, far from it.
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My heroes aren’t predatory. Why don’t you make your confused justifications to your wife, mother, daughter, niece, friend who get their ass grabbed by your heroes.
You have a way of reading my thoughts do you? Apparently you can’t read my writing.
What I said and I thought it pretty plain, is that heroes are often flawed people and they do heroic things because of those flaws.
Did I say that he should get a pass when he acted a jerk? No.
Does his occasionally being a jerk make him any less a hero? No.
No one is perfect accept the All Mighty. So we all have to learn to accept each other warts and all.
Then we have to learn to rejoice in greatness in those of us who go above and beyond their flaws to achieve great things.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will say a prayer for everyone.
Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, wardaddy. Tough to lose old buddies like that.
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