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Single, childless and nearing 40, I saw one real option
CNN ^ | 04/25/2017 | Sarah Lenti

Posted on 04/26/2017 6:18:53 AM PDT by BJ1

Fast forward to my 38th birthday. I was still single, and the world of dating had changed significantly in the last eight years. Tinder and Bumble, the dominant dating apps, offered countless options for single men and women, but made the experience of dating entirely impersonal.

Dating amounted to small talk with a stranger, who you had briefly interfaced with online because you each thought the other attractive. The small talk was a prelude to hooking up, and there were no expectations even of a text the next day.

It was brutal. And after trying my hand at it, I was no closer to finding the love of my life or starting a family. If I needed statistics to back me up, I had them. In 2014, marriage was on the decline, as was the fertility rate in the United States.

I had one real option left -- and that was to attempt to get pregnant alone.

(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: ivf; lenti; sarah; singlemom
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To: ctdonath2
I admire married people who are generously open to life, and are willing to live with the precarity known to all those who love.

I recommend this 2-minute video, which was censored by the government --- literally banned from broadcast distribution--- in France.

REALLY

221 posted on 04/26/2017 9:00:36 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("With my luck, if I were a politician I would be an honest man." - Rodney Dangerfield)
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To: wafflehouse
whats the common denominator? she is.

That's a fundamental truth that too many people forget or can't comprehend. The common denominator in all "your" failed relationships is "you".

222 posted on 04/26/2017 9:00:39 AM PDT by NorthMountain (The Democrats ... have lost their grip on reality -DJT)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

So, if a woman could be impregnated at age 55, that’s all good?

Is there actually a drop off you’d consider?

57? 60?

Pick a number.


223 posted on 04/26/2017 9:01:44 AM PDT by baltimorepoet
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To: AppyPappy
That’s like saying a man shouldn’t have sex with his wife if she gains weight. Better or worse. Sex should not be a tool. Most of the abusers I know actually did have sex with their wives. It’s one of the forms of abuse.

The ones most likely to get "cut off", in my experience, were the "nice guys". They weren't exciting. The wives of the utter bastards know they won't put up with a sexless marriage.

224 posted on 04/26/2017 9:02:33 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big government is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: miss marmelstein

LOL!

I have to agree with you this time ... that was a bit much.

;’}


225 posted on 04/26/2017 9:02:57 AM PDT by NorthMountain (The Democrats ... have lost their grip on reality -DJT)
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To: miss marmelstein
Most men have to be lasso’ed into getting married and then, as an old friend once said, rebuilt and refurbished like a used car.

Wow...why would he have to be lassoed into something that showed such respect for him as a person?

When you take a car to the shop, the shop has to disclose the costs and the result...full disclosure. In your example, I'd say it was more like cattle being led to slaughter.

226 posted on 04/26/2017 9:05:30 AM PDT by gogeo (When your life is based on a false premise...you are indeed insane.)
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To: NorthMountain

Oy!


227 posted on 04/26/2017 9:06:21 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: PapaBear3625

Good point. Not to get too graphic, but I have learned to get down in there, and provide delight for her, even before we move on to “the main event”........


228 posted on 04/26/2017 9:06:41 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: Varda

Single Moms are selfish (and no widows aren’t single moms).


What if Dad checks out in every which way and blames some kind of mental illness that he won’t seek help for? And doesn’t live there and doesn’t contribute in any way? Is that single mother also selfish? Because if I am selfish why is there nothing in my life even remotely for me? I must be doing selfish wrong too.


229 posted on 04/26/2017 9:07:12 AM PDT by Yaelle
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To: wafflehouse

I would say going to Stanford and working under Rice might have left her with inaccurate perceptions of the way life works. Seriously that would be two real strikes against her to start with. Both of those situations cater to people who think they are the upper echelon. Using those things to define herself suggests “its all about me.”

Is the man supposed to have brighter plumage than that to be worthy, if so will he be just as self centered? The qualities that make a good husband are not defined in terms of which school, which clerkship etc. I think this woman was looking at the symptoms not the problem.

A child is not a prescription for a cure for loneliness and lack of fulfillment. Once that child is born its all about the child not about the parent. Maybe that will be a good transition for this woman and she will find a man with a child/children to make a family and with her new perceptions she will recognize his worth.


230 posted on 04/26/2017 9:07:16 AM PDT by JayGalt
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To: miss marmelstein
I may vomit. I guess TMI means nothing to you.

Don't go there unless you are prepared to arrive at the destination.

231 posted on 04/26/2017 9:08:20 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big government is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: baltimorepoet

Before birth control, women gave birth until menopause. Now it’s unusual but nothing unnatural about it.


232 posted on 04/26/2017 9:08:41 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: surrey
Hear, hear! I married at 33, 3 kids (30, 28, 15) and a 6 YO grandson. The two youngest keep me young and very busy.

It's really getting fun now that the grandson is old enough to accompany Opa on his road trips. The boys and I trekked to Nashville last December for the Gonzaga-Tennessee basketball game.

Several years ago, my then 11 YO son and I took two weeks to drive to Las Vegas, which included stops at Monument Valley, Zion & Bryce Canyon. A highlight for me was a day of canyoneering in Water Canyon.

I would recommend that the woman take up viticulture as a hobby. Visiting wineries has become a passion for me, and it's a great way to meet people in a casual environment. There is so much to learn, there's never a lack of topics for breaking the ice.

Four years of living near the Mosel River gave me an incredible amount of confidence to talk to women. Knowing the right wine to pair with dinner set me apart from the competition. Plus, I was able to bring the wine to life by talking about the region it came from, and places that I visited while in those areas.

233 posted on 04/26/2017 9:09:15 AM PDT by Night Hides Not (Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Gonzales! Come and Take It!)
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To: PapaBear3625

There is a quid pro quo element to your view of marriage that I would not be comfortable with. I am glad you have found your soul mate.


234 posted on 04/26/2017 9:10:47 AM PDT by JayGalt
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To: Dilbert San Diego

TMI


235 posted on 04/26/2017 9:12:10 AM PDT by JayGalt
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To: BJ1

“The end of the article sheds light that she had dated many men in her past who had rejected her. She pretty much came to conclusion that she’s unlovable by a man...”

She probably could be loved, but that would require some introspection and self-improvement on her part, which she isn’t interested in. She won’t change, and the world won’t change to accommodate her, so she’s just going to continue on her own selfish course.


236 posted on 04/26/2017 9:13:29 AM PDT by Boogieman
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To: miss marmelstein
How many times have you been married, lol? Bitter, much?!

It's all true. Not flattering, perhaps, but all true.

The system has been stacked against men to the degree the only choice available is "no."

237 posted on 04/26/2017 9:14:28 AM PDT by gogeo (When your life is based on a false premise...you are indeed insane.)
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To: SarahPalin2012

“I blame the men more — too many are taking sex without responsibility and take the easier option rather than marrying and supporting a family.”

Oh sure, blame men for the results of feminism. Because we totally instigated that whole thing.


238 posted on 04/26/2017 9:14:50 AM PDT by Boogieman
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To: Boogieman
Oh sure, blame men for the results of feminism.

They may have instigated it, but there was a reason. Again, (I have made this point about three other times in this thread) -- it's not who you and I blame. It's who God blames that matters.

239 posted on 04/26/2017 9:20:37 AM PDT by SarahPalin2012
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To: BJ1

All she would need to do is hang out in front of Planned Parenthood with a hand written “Will take your Baby for Food before you kill it” sign.


240 posted on 04/26/2017 9:20:43 AM PDT by Kickass Conservative (The way Liberals carry on about Deportation, you would think "Mexico" was Spanish for "Auschwitz".)
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