Posted on 01/31/2017 2:51:41 PM PST by sodpoodle
These are all great messages, videos and jokes which I have to share. Must also stop hitching a ride on other FReepers' threads;)
they’re are such pure humor I can’t read them :)
shucks 20 seconds ;)
— A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”
The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years”.
This isn’t going well at all! The only link shown won’t open.
A grasshopper walked into a bar, hopped up onto a stool and ordered a Scotch and soda. The bartender said to the grasshopper, “You know, we have a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper said, “You have a drink named ‘Irving’?”
He: “I work with animals every day!”
She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher.”
He didn't count with this...
A Letter from
ORANGE COUNTY,FLORIDA
For some reason, people have difficulty structuring their arguments when arguing against supporting the currently proposed immigration revisions. This lady made the argument pretty simple. NOT printed in the Orange County
Paper .....
Newspapers simply won’t publish letters to the editor which they either deem politically incorrect (read below) or which do not agree with the philosophy they’re pushing on the public. This woman wrote a great letter to the editor that should have been published; but, with your help, it will get published via cyberspace!
From: “David LaBonte”
My wife, Rosemary, wrote a wonderful letter to the editor of the OC Register which, of course, was not printed. So, I decided to “print” it myself by sending it out on the Internet. Pass it along if you feel so inclined. Written in response to a series of letters to the editor in the Orange County Register:
Dear Editor:
So many letter writers have based their arguments on how this land is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the people now in question aren’t being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry.
Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today’s American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer. Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the United States, people had to get off a ship and stand in a long line in New York and be documented. Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground.
They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households and some even changed their names to blend in with their new home.
They had waved good-bye to their birth place to give their children a new life and did everything in their power to help their children assimilate into one culture.
Nothing was handed to them. No free lunches, no welfare, no labor laws to protect them. All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had brought with them to trade for a future of prosperity.
Most of their children came of age when World War II broke out. My father fought alongside men whose parents had come straight over from Germany , Italy , France and Japan . None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought about what country their parents had come from.
They were Americans fighting Hitler, Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan . They were defending the United States of America as one people.
When we liberated France , no one in those villages were looking for the French-American or the German-American or the Irish-American. The people of France saw only Americans. And we carried one flag that represented one country.
Not one of those immigrant sons would have thought about picking up another country’s flag and waving it to represent who they were. It would have been a disgrace to their parents who had sacrificed so much to be here.
These immigrants truly knew what it
meant to be an American. They stirred the melting pot into one Red, White and Blue bowl.
And here we are with a new kind of immigrant who wants the same rights
and privileges. Only they want to
achieve it by playing with a different
set of rules, one that includes the entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to their mother country.
I’m sorry, that’s not what being an American is all about. I believe that the immigrants who landed on Ellis Island in the early 1900’s deserve better than that for all the toil, hard work and sacrifice in raising future generations to create a land that has become a beacon for those legally searching for a better life.
I think they would be appalled that they are being used as an example by those waving foreign country flags.
And for that suggestion about taking down the Statue of Liberty , it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on the immigration bill. I wouldn’t start talking about dismantling the United States just yet.
(signed)
Rosemary LaBonte
KEEP THIS LETTER MOVING. FOR THE WRONG THINGS TO PREVAIL THE RIGHTFUL MAJORITY NEEDS TO REMAIN COMPLACENT AND QUIET!! LET THIS NEVER HAPPEN!!
I sincerely hope this letter gets read by millions of people all across the nation!
It walks forwards
Someone please help me with the tombstone joke.
Pretty funny… (But about True)
Do You Know Someone Suffering From Trump Unacceptance & Resistance Disorder (TURD)? Know the signs, spot the symptoms, and save a life.
TURD is a pattern of pathologically dissociative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November 8th 2016, and increasing in severity with passing time.
Sufferers of TURD often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, sudden bouts of rage, rioting, and uncontrollable crying.
People with TURD are characterized by a persistent unwillingness to accept that Donald Trump is going to Make America Great Again.
TURD Is caused by the election of Donald Trump as President for these United States of America. For many, both in America and worldwide, this was a shocking and unexpected outcome; their preferred news sources having failed to inform them that the alternative candidate was a criminal parasite in such ill health she got chucked into the back of a van like a kidnap victim.
Research is ongoing, but TURD appears to correlate closely with the following environmental and behavioral factors:
1.) Membership in the Democratic Party
2.) Identifying as a Feminist.
3.) Currently enrolled in college and/or possession of a Liberal Arts college degree.
4.) Living in a densely populated metropolitan area.
5.) Massive student debt.
6.) Spotty or non-existent work history.
Patients with TURD are very resistant to treatment, and dangerous in large groups. Any possibility of treatment requires that they may be separated from their hive-mind support apparatus; they cannot begin the process of accepting reality in the presence of encouragement towards delusion and irrationality. Separation may require the assistance of law enforcement.
If you have a friend or loved one suffering from TURD, urge them to seek treatment. Together we can beat this scourge, and Make America Great Again.
Great lesson on how to hijack ones own thread
And it’s pronounced, “Oy-Ving!” ;)
All dressed up
And no place to go.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/f dSVp9GFeS4?autoplay=1&rel=0
Maybe replace the word “with” with the word “on.”
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