I'm pretty far to the right.

Original FUNNEH | 1/22/2016 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

Someone said I leaned a little to the right. They were wrong.

I'm so far to the right, I consider Ronald Reagan a far-leftist, and Barry Goldwater, a moderate.

I'm so far to the right, I believe in mandatory pistol vending-machines in pre-schools and airports.

I'm so far to the right, that not only would I make marital infidelity illegal, I'd ban sex inside a marriage, too.

I'm so far to the right, not only would I deport illegal aliens, I would deport anyone (and their descendents) who immigrated to America in the last 525 years.

I'm so far to the right, I feel that not only perverted gays and nasty transsexuals should be put to death, but even those filthy heterosexuals.

I'm so far to the right, that not only should we close our national borders, we should close our state and county ones too.

I'm so far to the right, that not only do I believe in home-schooling, I think women should uterus-school.

I'm so far to the right, that not only would I abolish the right to abortion, I'd ban menstruation as well.

I'm so far to the right, that not only would I ban taxes, I'd force the government to send money to us.

I'm so far to the right, that not only would I abolish welfare, I'd make all citizens give the government money.

I'm pretty far to the right.

But anyone who thinks I'm a little far to the right is a bleeding heart mamby pamby snowflake flaming liberal.

[StAntKnee]

Laz . . .

We need a 100-day countdown.

Two-phase.

First Phase of the daily countdown is to list the substantive and rhetorical achievements of President Trump.
Second Phase is the hysterical, illogical reactions to the Trump achievements.

[elcid1970]

Laz is back. FR is back. We’re all back.

“And the guy in the rear...got drafted!”

[tired&retired]

LOL... This from the “I’d Hit It Laz!!!” Too Funny.

[Tax-chick]

My life was less fun without Laz.

[tired&retired]

Laz,

We should have sent you to Washington for the Million Bitch March. You could have raised a few hackles!

[Telepathic Intruder]

I consider myself a moderate, but only from a far, far right point of view.

[Read Write Repeat]

I’m so far right, the left doesn’t exist anymore.

[tired&retired]

[Spirit of Liberty]

I’m left-handed.....

[b4its2late]

Lol! You’re so far right you lean that way when you walk. You’re so far right you can only see right out your left eye.

[b4its2late]

I wonder what the last post was before FR went dark? In the old days we’d say that person broke FR....

[generally]

My suggestion is a list of conservative priorities. We can mark them off as they are accomplished. Some are large and/or vague, so we could break them down into more manageable pieces with more definite endpoints.

My proposed list is at the end. Not everyone will agree on every point and it’s not intended to start a big argument about what should be on/off the list. I would suggest that anything reasonable should go on the list including variations on the same theme or competing options (e.g. flat tax vs. fair tax) and we should see what gets accomplished. Also, some things fall under 2 or more categories. They might be listed in both places.

I. Government Corruption
A. DOJ
B. FBI
C. CIA
D. Repeal all 0vomit Executive Orders
E. Require Senators and Representatives to live by the same laws as the rest of the country. No special exemptions for them, ESPECIALLY with regard to financial issues. This includes health care.
F. Get rid of pensions for government workers. Let them set up 401(k)s like the rest of us.
G. Term limits
II. Illegal Immigrants
A. Build the Wall
B. Deport all illegals who have committed felonies.
C. Laws to prevent “anchor babies”
III. Taxes
A. Repeal 0vomitcare
IV. Corporate Corruption
A. Investigate Clinton Foundations
1. Indict
V. List of people/groups that need to be investigated and probably need to be prosecuted for corruption and/or treason
A. Hitlery Clintoon
B. John Podesta
C. B. 0vomit
D. Loretta Lynch
E. Comey
F. John Roberts?
G. CAIR
H. John McCain
I. Al Franken
J. Al Sharpton
K. Jesse Jackson
L. Bill Clintoon
M. Valerie Jarrett
VI. Conservative Values
A. Get rid of Affirmative Action and other laws that favor one group over another.
B. Stop persecuting Christians
1. Do not require Christian organizations to provide abortions.
C. Stop persecuting all religions except islam
D. Stamp out sex trafficking, especially when it involves children.
1. Investigate John Podesta and Tony Podesta.
E. Stop funding liberal indoctrination centers (colleges that push the progressive agenda).
VII. Economy
A. Stop punishing producers and rewarding deadbeats.
VIII. Privacy
A. No wiretaps on US citizens without a warrant.
B. No electronic surveillance of US citizens without a warrant.
IX. Supreme Court
A. Appoint a staunch conservative to fill Scalia’s chair.
X. Education
A. Get the federal government out of K-12 education.
1. Stop rewarding schools for having kids on free/reduced lunches.
B. Stop funding progressive indoctrination at colleges and universities.
XI. Remove corruption from the election process.
A. Voter ID
B. Purge the voter rolls
1. No dead voters
2. No illegal voters
3. No voters registered in multiple places
C. No all-electronic voting. All votes must have a paper trail. Ok to use electronic counting, but it must be able to be verified by humans counting paper ballots.
XII. Terrorism
A. Stop importing muslims into this country.
B. Investigate mosques that are “radicalizing” muslims
C. Investigate CAIR
D. Investigate muslim leaders who are anti-American
XIII. Media
A. Take away the WH press passes for media organizations that publish lies in order to bring down conservatives and/or influence elections.
XIV. Racism
A. Get rid of Affirmative Action
B. Clean up the inner cities.
C. Put an end to the extortion scams by race-baiters.
D. Prosecute “hate crime” hoaxes.
E. Get rid of special laws for “hate” crimes. It’s either a crime or it isn’t.
F. Publish accurate crime data that show which races are perps and which are victims.
1. In federal crime data, stop including hispanics as white when they are perps but as hispanic when they are victims in order to tilt the data.
XV. Judicial system
A. End selective enforcement of laws. Either enforce them against everyone or repeal them. Selective enforcement is just another name for tyranny.

Wish List
1. Abolish the IRS and the income tax. Replace the income tax with a consumption tax.
2. Get rid of preferential pricing for medical services to those who have insurance. The uninsured should not be gouged to subsidize the insurance companies. One price regardless of whether you have insurance or not.
3. Abortion - repeal Roe v. Wade. Let the states decide.
4. Abolish gay “marriage”.
5. Change the culture so that the government is afraid of the people, not the people afraid of the government.
6. Tell us what 0vomit’s real BC says. Release his SAT scores and other hidden documents.

[outofsalt]

I’m so far to the right that I think the electric chair should be replaced by wiring up the local high school bleachers.

[Redleg Duke]

"The one on the right was on the left and the one in middle was on the right and the one on the left was in the middle and the guy in the rear was a Methodist."

What scares me is that you made sense!

[Tax-chick]

Johnny Cash was a perceptive observer of society.

[Larry Lucido]

You’re so far to the right, Ghengis Khan says “Damn it, Laz, would you move over?”

[grania]

I’d add Brennan to the list. He’s out of office (yeah!), and still mouthing off to the media.

[Conan the Librarian]

Leftist.

[JoeProBono]

[Bobalu]

Baby Laz