If they want something small then you need to go with a smaller round, .32mag or .327, maybe even .22 mag.
Small lightweight guns in .38 and up are not for the novice shooter.
Friend of mine was going to buy his wife a featherweight .357 she could shoot .38s in.
He and 2 of his sons each fired a .38 and a .357 out of one before he bought one to see if his wife could handle it.
All 3 agreed there was no way his wife could handle it in .38 much less .357.
I mainly shoot cast bullets.
Heavy role crimp in the crimp groove pretty much keeps the bullet in place even with the heaviest load no matter what I’m shooting, .38/.357,.44spcl/.44mag, .41mag, .45 colt.
I’ve got a Charter Bulldog .44spcl.
I shoot 240gr swc right at factory level and I don’t have any problem with the bullet moving.
I tried 200gr and 185gr in it but the accuracy just isn’t there.
With the 240gr it is surprising how accurate it is.
The very first gun my wife ever shot (and took to the Basic Handgun Class/Range course) was a 38 special +P rated S&W Model 10. She likes it and can handle it well. My daughter's first shots beside an AR-15 and a 9mm Glock was a Model 625 JM I owned (ended up having to give it to her). She took her Basic Handgun Course with a Model 686 357. It's what she shoots every Tuesday where she puts most of the others there to shame on accuracy. My point on that is there is too much angst on what a woman can or cannot shoot. Let them try and if they like it, then have at it. On the roll crimped hand loaded bullets you mention. Have you ever tried them in a lightweight alloy frame as was discussed? I've tried one or two manufacturers' roll crimped and they did just what the Governor manual said could happen. Maybe doing your own is better but I was talking commercial stuff.