The very first gun my wife ever shot (and took to the Basic Handgun Class/Range course) was a 38 special +P rated S&W Model 10. She likes it and can handle it well. My daughter's first shots beside an AR-15 and a 9mm Glock was a Model 625 JM I owned (ended up having to give it to her). She took her Basic Handgun Course with a Model 686 357. It's what she shoots every Tuesday where she puts most of the others there to shame on accuracy. My point on that is there is too much angst on what a woman can or cannot shoot. Let them try and if they like it, then have at it. On the roll crimped hand loaded bullets you mention. Have you ever tried them in a lightweight alloy frame as was discussed? I've tried one or two manufacturers' roll crimped and they did just what the Governor manual said could happen. Maybe doing your own is better but I was talking commercial stuff.
I’ve never tried the cast loads in a alloy frame but I have had to pull bullets after I’ve loaded them and it takes several good whacks with a kinetic bullet puller to get the bullets out.
Loaded right with the crimp is in the crimp groove it takes much more force to bend that brass back out than you get with recoil.