Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes

Date: Now | Author: Me

[Lazamataz]

You know those pink coconut marshmallow cakes you find on convenience store shelves...? If you get too many of them together in close proximity, critical mass is reached and an explosion ensues.

The explosion creates tens of new pink coconut marshmallow cakes per cake found on the shelf. This, in turn, causes another explosion, which occurs a few hours, when the cakes heat up again. This is known by Military EOD specialists and government teams dedicated to controlling these outbreaks, as a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake Event (PCMCE).

In the effort to make these dangerous snacks more acceptable, Hostess renamed the product, from the "Dangerous Spontaneously Exploding Coconut Marshmallow Cakes" to the less-threatening "Sno-Balls".

If you have never heard of the nanobot "Grey Fog" scenario, let me explain it: If you release a nanobot that has, as its only purpose, the collection of raw materials to fashion more nanobots, who in turn create more nanobots, the entire planet will become a 'grey fog' of nanobots. Like the Nanobot 'Grey Fog' scenario, the pink coconut marshmallow cake self-perpetuating explosion is a very real, very serious problem. There are three cases of it, right now, that authorities are trying to control:

1. One, Area 51, was once a small sleepy town called Carlstown, until a convenience store clerk mistakenly placed four of the cakes in close proximity. In response the government quickly erected Area 51 to contain the crisis. They spread rumors about UFOs, and called the Area a secret testing facility. So far -- until this expose' -- the secret has held.

2. Another occurred in the 1980's in Chernobyl, Ukraine. Several boxes of pink coconut marshmallow cakes were smuggled from the West, but without proper instructions translated from English, the clerks allowed the cakes to sit in a warehouse without the proper lead shielding. Once the cakes erupted, the Ukrainian government tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe out the cakes by overloading a nuclear reactor. All that happened is that they have millions of radioactive pink coconut marshmallow cakes.

3. Finally, a PCMCE occurred in the south of France in 2011. This occurred with the white-colored version of the cake. The French authorities were able to airlift the entire convenience store to the Antarctic, where the increase in mass is mistakenly attributed to ice growth. Closer satellite observation reveals millions of tiny little white coconut marshmallow cakes, and somehow the outcome meshed well with their colloquial name: Sno-Balls.

This is a serious problem. We will need funding to contain it. Please lobby your Senator and Congressman to fund the PCMCE Containment fund today!

Note the specialist carefully handling this dangerous product. Please note he is aligning the dangerous cake with the polar magnetic lines. This tends to minimize the risk of a PCMCE.

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING!

[Lazamataz]

Btr

No, not butter. Crisco.

But that's a post for another day.

[CARTOUCHE]

It’s entirely possible that sterilized PCME’s attempting coital fission with their more dangerous mates could pre-empt further spread. I think I read a recent paper on the subject from NASA’s James Hansen.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Could be worse.

Could be Amish Friendship Bread

[Conservative4Ever]

Same concept-different name.

[Manic_Episode]

When I was in High School in the 80s there was a Snowball eating contest during Homecoming week. A giant special needs guy nicknamed Chief won by smashing the snoballs with his fist before eating them.

If there is ever a Snoball problem anywhere on earth I would suggest contacting the giant special needs guy.

Chief knows exactly how to handle Snoballs.

[TomGuy]

The old StarTrek episode ‘the trouble with tribbles’ was loosely based on the Hollywood concept of PCMCE’s erupting because of the global warming crisis.

The writers won’t admit it because they would have to share royalties.

[Darksheare]

I know not how to combat the fluffy pink irradiated menace in any other way except to inform others of the threat.

[PROCON]

So this is THE new UT thread?

Please don't kid with me, you know I'm susceptible to alien thought control.

[Triple]

There is chocolate cake in there?...Must try one...have been able to resist not knowing that.

[LucyT]

Even as a child I didn't like cake, even birthday cakes, and didn't know Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes existed.

[Rodamala]

"Why you sly sonofabitch, Chief!"

[Oorang]

The world needs more pie.

[martin_fierro]

That has the l00k and c0rniness of a w00t! T-shirt.

[Rushmore Rocks]

Actually, I prefer pie, or tortes. My favorite cakes are the heavy, rich dense ones.....laden with fruit and nuts. (not fruitcake, yuk!) I don’t like the bread like texture of most cakes. I love molten lava cake and “”Hummingbird” cake. (Check AllRecipes.com)

[locountry1dr]

The innocuous pink SnoBall. Who knew?

They obviously caused the same nanobot dynamic as the “Don’t let that plane land” posts.

[Veto!]

That explains everything.

The ex used to actually eat these things. One day he disappeared.

[Talisker]

Please note he is aligning the dangerous cake with the polar magnetic lines. This tends to minimize the risk of a PCMCE.

Watch it, infosec.

[Darksheare]

He became..it.
Somewhere there is a pink man shape wriggling horribly in mockery of human form!

[Darksheare]

Well, we do have permission from Nick to use his “King Arthur got tazed” thread.
I suppose we could ask Laz if we could use his thread, then see which one garners the most “Wait.. whut?”

[PROCON]

LOL, I’m the n00b to the UT so I wait with baited breath.