Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes

Date: Now | Author: Me

[Lazamataz]

You know those pink coconut marshmallow cakes you find on convenience store shelves...? If you get too many of them together in close proximity, critical mass is reached and an explosion ensues.

The explosion creates tens of new pink coconut marshmallow cakes per cake found on the shelf. This, in turn, causes another explosion, which occurs a few hours, when the cakes heat up again. This is known by Military EOD specialists and government teams dedicated to controlling these outbreaks, as a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake Event (PCMCE).

In the effort to make these dangerous snacks more acceptable, Hostess renamed the product, from the "Dangerous Spontaneously Exploding Coconut Marshmallow Cakes" to the less-threatening "Sno-Balls".

If you have never heard of the nanobot "Grey Fog" scenario, let me explain it: If you release a nanobot that has, as its only purpose, the collection of raw materials to fashion more nanobots, who in turn create more nanobots, the entire planet will become a 'grey fog' of nanobots. Like the Nanobot 'Grey Fog' scenario, the pink coconut marshmallow cake self-perpetuating explosion is a very real, very serious problem. There are three cases of it, right now, that authorities are trying to control:

1. One, Area 51, was once a small sleepy town called Carlstown, until a convenience store clerk mistakenly placed four of the cakes in close proximity. In response the government quickly erected Area 51 to contain the crisis. They spread rumors about UFOs, and called the Area a secret testing facility. So far -- until this expose' -- the secret has held.

2. Another occurred in the 1980's in Chernobyl, Ukraine. Several boxes of pink coconut marshmallow cakes were smuggled from the West, but without proper instructions translated from English, the clerks allowed the cakes to sit in a warehouse without the proper lead shielding. Once the cakes erupted, the Ukrainian government tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe out the cakes by overloading a nuclear reactor. All that happened is that they have millions of radioactive pink coconut marshmallow cakes.

3. Finally, a PCMCE occurred in the south of France in 2011. This occurred with the white-colored version of the cake. The French authorities were able to airlift the entire convenience store to the Antarctic, where the increase in mass is mistakenly attributed to ice growth. Closer satellite observation reveals millions of tiny little white coconut marshmallow cakes, and somehow the outcome meshed well with their colloquial name: Sno-Balls.

This is a serious problem. We will need funding to contain it. Please lobby your Senator and Congressman to fund the PCMCE Containment fund today!

Note the specialist carefully handling this dangerous product. Please note he is aligning the dangerous cake with the polar magnetic lines. This tends to minimize the risk of a PCMCE.

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING!

[left that other site]

ping=pink

[Lazamataz]

You've finally lost it.

I *knew* the naysayers would arrive. The global establishment does NOT want us to know about the PCMCE threat.

[Darksheare]

“Join me, and together we can RUE the galaxy!” -how one typo can change a movie forever.

[Lazamataz]

A piece of trivia: Slim Pickens had to do that scene 100 times, until the perfectionist Stanley Kubrick finally liked a take.

[left that other site]

He rode it down 100 times? LOL.

Gives new meaning to the closing theme...

We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when...

[Lazamataz]

MORE than 100.

[DugwayDuke]

Laz, you have a special kind of mind and don’t ever let anyone tell you different.

[smokingfrog]

[left that other site]

That could really aggravate a painful condition associated with too much sitting.

Especially if one has already exacerbated said condition by ingesting a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake.

[Slings and Arrows]

Preach it, FRiend.

[Lazamataz]

You commies.

The United States Defense Department expended much by way of money and research hours to create this weapon/foodstuff, and all you can do is denigrate it.

You commies.

[freedumb2003]

>>Sno Balls were first introduced in 1947<<

Just 2 years after Hiroshima — coincidence? I THINK NOT!!!

[right way right]

Cool, I’m thinking microwave oven......

[Jane Long]

Bleh. They don’t even look appetizing.

[right way right]

Oww!!
Diabetes it hurts! Literally, friggen snowballs...
They must be outlawed, where is the first wook on this?

[left that other site]

She is actually in on the plot.

[Conservative4Ever]

I will heed your advise, but PCMCE has got nothin, on my sourdough starter sitting on my kitchen counter, contained for now, but one slip and I could unleash it on the world.

[Darksheare]

Silly Putty came about due to wartime experiments in substitute for natural rubber.
It is also pink.
Perhaps.. no.. it’s too terrible to contemplate.
The sno-balls were made from irradiated silly putty!

[Clinging Bitterly]

Btr

[Lazamataz]

Silly Putty came about due to wartime experiments in substitute for natural rubber. It is also pink. Perhaps.. no.. it’s too terrible to contemplate. The sno-balls were made from irradiated silly putty!

JEEEEZ.... you went and spilled all the beans at once! You've never heard of "Moderated Controlled Release of Information"? You cannot introduce too much to the public too suddenly. It's overwhelming and frightens them.