Posted on 01/19/2015 8:37:13 PM PST by Beave Meister
Reddit users were asked “What’s the laziest thing you’ve ever done?” And one former sailor’s response is so incredible we had to share it.
We usually only write about Alabama-related things, so let’s just assume this took place aboard one of the Alabama-built Littoral Combat Ships.
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he’s still half asleep, bleary eyed… basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-a** circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He’s squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It’s painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I’m-still-totally-asleep voice, he says ‘heeeey. It’s OPS. Could you… shift our barpat… yeah, one six five. Thanks.’ And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
(Excerpt) Read more at yellowhammernews.com ...
Yup.
I could see some of our old bridge officers do that on my ship. Especially our Texan Captain.
The guy was just plain cool.
First thing he did after the transfer of command was to rip out the Captain’s chair from the bridge, and have a LaZboy installed.
One time on war games we didn’t want to clean our m-60’s so we checked out some one elses sixties. When they jammed up we just checked them back in to he armory. Don’t know who got stuck with that mess. Few thousand blanks is no easy clean up.
Like your Urinate sense of morality?
/s
Yup. I knew a man without morals, and it nearly rectum.
Topper...
LOL
Well done.
Relaxing in his quarters in an alcoholic haze, he was jolted by a sudden jolt to the vessel under his absent command. Whereupon, he rang up the bridge and remonstrated, "I ordered Tanqueray on the rocks."
Rank
Has
Its
Privilegea
RHIP. Been that way forever.
LOL!!! you evil jerk!!
Blanks are the worst, I would rather run around yelling bang bang than use blanks. What a disgusting mess of crud.
I remember one time we took the BFA off the rifle and shot rifle cleaning rods into a telephone poles all night long. It was a pretty boring position.
You’re a cunning linguist...with a rapist wit!
Something done? -— if one is lazy, one does nothing. I do that a lot ...
...And that’s where we get the term “the man in the boat”.
CC
Rectum? Damn near killed ‘em!
CC
For some reason our ship was the favorite ship for burial at sea duty. One occasion the deceased was cremated and we got ashes instead of a coffin. The burial procedure is the same except that you dump the ashes over the side instead of the slide chute splash deal with a coffin burial. Well the XO was in charge of dumping the ashes and just as he is doing so the wind shifts and he, in his dress whites, gets covered in ashes. Nobody laughed.
LCS = ship designed to sink in shallow water.
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