Posted on 12/24/2014 11:26:58 PM PST by billys kid
Death of a loved one I know it's late. However my husband passed away October 1st. And I'm not coping very well. He had just turned 56 in August. I miss him so very much. Any help would very much be appreciated.
I am so, so sorry, billys kid... I can’t imagine. :(
I am also grieving, and I don’t like this “new normal” one bit. My only advice to you is to try to do something that makes you happy ( I plant or bake ), surround yourself with supportive people and try to eat, get some exercise and some sleep. Be kind to yourself and ignore anybody who tells you to “just get over it.”
I’ll leave you with the poem that I used for both my father and for my best friend’s eulogies. It’s beautiful and I hope that it will bring you some comfort. Wishing you peace and sending you a big hug.
Death is Nothing at All
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before only better, infinitely happier and forever we will all be one together with Christ.
Henry Scott Holland
My condolences, Billy’s Kid.
I’m offering prayers for you during this period of grief. When a loved one has been lost, the Holidays are especially difficult.
God Bless You!
((((( Hugs )))))
I don’t know what I can say to make you feel better. But I can pray for your. And I can promise better days are ahead.
Prayers for you. Wishing you God’s Peace this Christmas Day.
I am so sorry for the loss of your love; nothing can really replace a person with whom you were intimate. Having said that, I recalled the following which I stumbled upon in 2011:
Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free, I’m following the path God laid for me. I took his hand when I heard his call, I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day, To laugh, to love, to work, to play. Tasks left undone must stay that way, I’ve found that peace at the end of the day.
If my parting has left a void, Then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss, Ah, yes, these things too I will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow, I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow. My Life’s been full, I savoured much, Good friends, good times, a loved one’ touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief, Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief. Lift up your heart and share with me, God wanted me now, He set me free.
Bumping this thread for prayer for you.
May the Lord embrace you in His arms and give you His divine peace, strength, endurance, and comfort.
Hang in there. I know exactly how you feel. You see, I lost my only son on December 17th to an aneurysm. He left behind a beautiful wife and a three year old son. My pain for you is deep but you have to let the heeling begin. Forgive all the bad times and remember and rejoice in the wonderful times you had together. The future will once again be bright. As I was told, don’t look back at the days since your loved one left this earth, but look forward to the day that you’ll be together again. Peace to you and Merry Christmas!
I lost my wife of 42 years, my best friend, my nearly constant companion, a little over three years ago.
Locate a list and description of the stages of grief. You will go through them, some of them several times. It will help if you are able to identify them, though. That’s the purpose of the list. Especially watch out for denial. It wears many faces.
There is and always will be a vacancy in your life the size of your love for him. With time, you will be able to populate that vacancy with other people, experiences and events, but it will always exist to some extent.
It wouldn’t hurt so much if we didn’t love so much. I will add “billys kid” to my prayers. God bless you.
Prayers up. May God give you comfort in your mourning. I’m very sorry for your loss.
I’m very sorry to hear that and I hope our prayers and well thoughts comfort you and yours during this time. I lost my mother last year, a week before Thanksgiving so The Holidays are a tough time for me too. As I left my father’s place on the long drive home, I heard Christmas carols Mom liked and I almost started to cry. Not a good thing being behind the wheel so I’m thankful I found John Bachelor on WABC from New York (I live north of Wheeling, WV in Ohio and my father lives near Pittsburgh). Well, the way I see it is that it is not goodbye but “I’ll see you later” although it is hard not having them with us when they were before. A small comfort is my mother came back to me in my dreams where I talked to her like I always did. Although you need to have faith and I always believed it, I just had to ask her, “is there a God?” She said, “yes.” She also said, she misses me too. Yeah, digressing, I’m glad I turned off the Christmas music, I did not want to wreck the car. I’m driving her car and the last thing I want is to see her in Heaven where her first world to me are, “Hmmm, you wreck my car.” B-) All I can say is hang in there. Does it get easier over time? For me, I don’t know but many say it does but you still don’t get 100% over it. I’d settle for 90%.
I can only offer my condolences and advise you to let yourself feel the sad feelings; be with family as much as possible to share memories (if you’re on good terms with them); don’t be afraid to reach out to friends; and go to church where you will be in a loving and nurturing community. It also helps not to be idle - get out there and volunteer, help others, etc. It might not sound like much, but it really helps.
I lost Dad in August of '07, and then Mom exactly a year and a half later to the day.....this is the first Christmas I haven't had a few tears when hearing certain Christmas songs.
When I visit their gravesite, I do still tend to tell them to "Sleep in heavenly peace"...
We had a great time at State. One of my high school teachers tried to talk me out of going there because the boys outnumbered us by a big margin. He was in the dorm with one or two Peaveys. (sp). Hubby taught him guitar and the rest is history. I had been a State fan since I started listening to The Voice of the Bulldogs, Jack Cristil when I was about 8/9. He was the best. Will never be anyone like him again. He taught me football way back then. I got a sheet of paper and tracked yards, scores, etc. My niece in MS and I wanted to go to the bowl game but Miami is too far to drive and she coud not afford to fly. I had a class with Hoyle and we loved to hear him talk. I am still in touch with a few friends from there. Hail State.
God is the answer.
My prayers are with you, and the Lord Jesus is right there with you, holding you in his strong but gentle arms and comforting you. Lean on Him and His mighty strength, and He will carry you through. There is a ministry called “Celebrate Recovery” in many churches, and I know it helps many people who attend the meetings, which are generally held once a week.
We are all here for you.
Have you read the poem, “my first Christmas in Heaven” or something like that? Someone sent it to me after my daughter died in 04 and then someone sent me a different version in 2006 after my husband died.
There is truth in keeping busy. Work, hobbies, other family or friends. All I have found have helped me and loved ones deal with loss.
...
My dad lost his wife recently and that’s how he’s coping. He’s also keeping all the traditions the same with Thanksgiving and Christmas.
My husband died almost 16 years ago at the age of 52. It was totally unexpected and I didn’t handle it very well either. Some of the things that helped me were journaling about my feelings (filled 3 journals), going to a bereavement group (for months) and participating in an online support group (Widownet.org). Holidays were the hardest for a long time. Be good to yourself and realize that everyone recovers in their own time and in their own way. Just take it one day at a time and know it WILL get better. Bless you.
I’m sorry about his death...prayers to him and you today...
Beautiful!
Thank you, God Bless and Merry Christmas!
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