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[Excerpted Satire/Gag piece] McDonald’s Drops $15.00 “Living” Wage Bomb
Universalfreepress News blog ^ | September 8, 2014 | Rlgrimes

Posted on 11/03/2014 6:47:05 AM PST by YankeeReb

In a surprise move CEO Donald Thompson of McDonald’s Restaurants announced they had reached an agreement with the SEIU and would start paying its workers a “Living Wage” of $15.00 per hour the first of October. Mr. Thompson issued a press release stating, “As a company we realize we have been negligent in paying our employees a real living wage for the last 60 years, so in the spirit of social well-being, we have decided to comply with the wishes of the White House and the SEIU.”

The Service Employees International Union spokesman, Seymour Pecunia, said that he “was very happy that McDonald’s had agreed to their demands.” He was also hopeful that McDonald’s decision would lead to similar agreements with Burger King, Wendy’s, Hardee’s and Taco Bell. As the largest retail seller of fast food, the agreement will set a high bar for other fast-food chains to meet.

It is estimated the move will cost the company over 100 million dollars the first year. Much of the cost will be made up in higher food prices according to management sources. “We have been working on new price guidelines for several months and think we have come up with a workable menu pricing guideline for our franchisees.

(Excerpt) Read more at universalfreepress.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: mcdonalds; minimumwage; satire; satirization
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To: null and void

Exactly. Think they and others wouldn’t follow suit?


61 posted on 11/03/2014 7:11:47 AM PST by Rennes Templar (Obama: First ever POTUS to be retired while still in office.)
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To: deport; Blue Jays

Thanks!


62 posted on 11/03/2014 7:15:49 AM PST by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer.)
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To: Rennes Templar

Point conceded.


63 posted on 11/03/2014 7:18:49 AM PST by null and void (If a quarantine saves just one child's life, it's worth it.)
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To: Rennes Templar
Get ready for the $8.00 Whopper

They already have those in some parts of America - where they pay their employees $10, $11, $12 per hour starting pay!

The fact that SEIU, Democrats, and Liberals can't see (OR REFUSE TO SEE) the relationship of the cost of living in New York, where fast food costs MORE and starting pay is higher, when compared to the cost of fast food and starting pay in places like Texas!

When people talk about a "living wage," I ask them all the time, "Living where?!?" Because $30K in Mabank, Texas will get you everything you need and if you live within your means, you WILL have extra cash! But, you can NOT live in LA or NY or Seattle on $30K a year. So, when they talk about a living wage, they don't actually know or care about the facts! They just want to raise the pay, which WILL RAISE the cost of living, and that will negate the pay raises for the low income people anyway!

The ONLY people a minimum wage increase really helps are union members and union contracts, because their wages are based off the minimum wage! THAT is why SEIU wants the minimum wage to be raised - PERIOD!!!
64 posted on 11/03/2014 7:23:55 AM PST by ExTxMarine (PRAYER: It's the only HOPE for real CHANGE in America!)
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To: Lonely Bull

Oh please, this is satire/political parody. Why is a warning label even necessary!?

Part of the fun of good satire is that moment when you realize, “Geez, he really had me going!”

It’s not Orson Welles in “War of the Worlds” throwing an entire nation into panic (even after he warned his radio audience at the start that it was fiction).

The real problem is this crazy world we live in where the real headlines are more bizarre than anybody’s fertile imagination.

Satire warning label.....come on.

;^)


65 posted on 11/03/2014 7:28:51 AM PST by elcid1970 ("I am a radicalized infidel.")
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To: x1stcav

No, Semmens satire is much better and much much closer to the truth.


66 posted on 11/03/2014 7:51:01 AM PST by aquila48
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To: elcid1970; John Semmens
Part of the fun of good satire is that moment when you realize, “Geez, he really had me going!”

I completely agree. I have just now caught up to the big 'dustup' over FR 'Satire Warnings' now. Good grief. I think that someone getting angry over being fooled by a satire article is way too full of themselves. Scott Ott/Scrappleface, Iowahawk, John Semmens ... have been posted at FR for over a decade without a need to regulate with rules to placate bruised egos.

67 posted on 11/03/2014 8:34:05 AM PST by Servant of the Cross (the Truth will set you free)
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To: Servant of the Cross

Like the kidnap victim who is forced to write a ransom note, and then ends it with,

“This is no joke. I am enclosing a joke so that you will be able to tell the difference.”

;^)


68 posted on 11/03/2014 8:46:00 AM PST by elcid1970 ("I am a radicalized infidel.")
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To: mad_as_he$$

interesting, but I wasn’t condemning or condoning anything. I guess I’m a little curious as to what brought the comment on.


69 posted on 11/03/2014 10:23:19 AM PST by jurroppi1 (The only thing you "pass to see what's in it" is a stool sample. h/t MrB)
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To: YankeeReb

now that’s some quality satire...


70 posted on 11/03/2014 10:24:49 AM PST by jurroppi1 (The only thing you "pass to see what's in it" is a stool sample. h/t MrB)
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To: Fido969

I’m not the OP, that was apparently their responsibility. I just pinged the OP and let them know I did that as a common courtesy.


71 posted on 11/03/2014 10:30:56 AM PST by jurroppi1 (The only thing you "pass to see what's in it" is a stool sample. h/t MrB)
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To: elcid1970
Part of the fun of good satire is that moment when you realize, “Geez, he really had me going!”

One problem is that some people don't seem to have that realization. (Multiple people in this thread seem to have taken this "satire" as true.)

This problem alone can lead to other problems: "A lot of people come to FR and scan the headlines clicking on articles of interest. If they're not familiar with the author or source, they may be misled and may even pass it on to others."

Besides, not everyone has the same idea of fun or wants to click on threads where the source is satire. (I clicked on it because I was skeptical and suspected either wild rumor or an unlabeled satire thread. Since it looked like satire, I was thinking about posting what I did quote had no one already quoted it here.)

72 posted on 11/03/2014 2:59:38 PM PST by Lonely Bull
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To: YankeeReb

“In order to balance the books on this important change, we will transition to zero employees, effective this week.

The $15 per hour we would have paid to employees, will instead be used for restaurant robots.”


73 posted on 11/03/2014 3:05:26 PM PST by truth_seeker
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To: Lonely Bull

Well....you sorta gotta point there, that not all readers at FR are hardened FReepers accustomed to biting satire, and may be neophytes possibly easily misled. They forward posts thinking them real, and mistruths are thus spread.

But I reiterate that the best satire is that which skates closest to the truth where the line between fact & fiction becomes blurred. Satire is a heady brew that can delude novitiate minds not used to the stronger stuff. Unfortunately, online is not the place to shoo the children to bed while the adults partake of adult beverages. Got that.

But you’ll have to admit, McDonald’s acceding to a $15 minimum wage in a high cost of living city is not improbable. What that doesn’t prevent them from doing is investing in automation.

As noted, the industrial war between labor & management over automation is ongoing & stretches over many decades.

I’m still a teensy skeptical about the need for a label, “Warning, satire follows. Reader discretion advised.”

;^)


74 posted on 11/03/2014 4:41:46 PM PST by elcid1970 ("I am a radicalized infidel.")
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