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[Excerpted Satire/Gag piece] McDonald’s Drops $15.00 “Living” Wage Bomb
Universalfreepress News blog ^ | September 8, 2014 | Rlgrimes

Posted on 11/03/2014 6:47:05 AM PST by YankeeReb

In a surprise move CEO Donald Thompson of McDonald’s Restaurants announced they had reached an agreement with the SEIU and would start paying its workers a “Living Wage” of $15.00 per hour the first of October. Mr. Thompson issued a press release stating, “As a company we realize we have been negligent in paying our employees a real living wage for the last 60 years, so in the spirit of social well-being, we have decided to comply with the wishes of the White House and the SEIU.”

The Service Employees International Union spokesman, Seymour Pecunia, said that he “was very happy that McDonald’s had agreed to their demands.” He was also hopeful that McDonald’s decision would lead to similar agreements with Burger King, Wendy’s, Hardee’s and Taco Bell. As the largest retail seller of fast food, the agreement will set a high bar for other fast-food chains to meet.

It is estimated the move will cost the company over 100 million dollars the first year. Much of the cost will be made up in higher food prices according to management sources. “We have been working on new price guidelines for several months and think we have come up with a workable menu pricing guideline for our franchisees.

(Excerpt) Read more at universalfreepress.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: mcdonalds; minimumwage; satire; satirization
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To: Pearls Before Swine
Right you are on both accounts. Total Satire but if implemented McDonald's could go 99% percent robotic, all they would need is someone to press the button to turn it on or off, and I hope there is an off button.
21 posted on 11/03/2014 6:54:36 AM PST by 2001convSVT (Going Galt as fast as I can.)
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To: YankeeReb

If this was not satire an agreement to $15 would automatically make the unions come back and demand 20.


22 posted on 11/03/2014 6:55:06 AM PST by edpc (Wilby 2016)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

The cost of eating at McDonalds is directing proportional to the cost of toilet paper.


23 posted on 11/03/2014 6:55:09 AM PST by Minsc
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To: YankeeReb

I knew it.

McDonalds has a long, long track record of surrendering to the prevailing populist (liberal) winds. This comes as no surprise to me.

With the crap food that McDonalds sells and with the higher prices that will now be required, I strongly suggest selling your McDonalds stock.


24 posted on 11/03/2014 6:55:20 AM PST by Obadiah (None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.)
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To: morphing libertarian

I thought the gay one would cost a single $3 bill...


25 posted on 11/03/2014 6:55:31 AM PST by null and void (If a quarantine saves just one child's life, it's worth it.)
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To: morphing libertarian

I thought the gay one would cost a single $3 bill...


26 posted on 11/03/2014 6:55:31 AM PST by null and void (If a quarantine saves just one child's life, it's worth it.)
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To: YankeeReb

Satire, or not, I don’t worry about it...haven’t been to mcdonalds’s for over 5 years, no plans to go there in the future.


27 posted on 11/03/2014 6:56:51 AM PST by FrankR (They will become our ultimate masters the day we surrender the 2nd Amendment.)
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To: YankeeReb

This article is almost two months old. Confused as to why you’d post an article that old and not, at least, put that it’s satire in the first comment space.


28 posted on 11/03/2014 6:57:00 AM PST by thefactor (yes, as a matter of fact, i DID only read the excerpt)
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To: jurroppi1
McDonalds is not the biggest seller of fast food. Subway is by far and away.
29 posted on 11/03/2014 6:57:00 AM PST by mad_as_he$$
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To: JPJones

Well.....if several $7.50 employees are replaced with one or two $15.00 employees maintaining several automated burger makers/servers....the price of a Big Mac may rise only slightly if at all.

Of course, expect SEIU thugs to come in and trash da place!

Some of the worst labor violence of the past 100 years has been due to automation.


30 posted on 11/03/2014 6:57:07 AM PST by elcid1970 ("I am a radicalized infidel.")
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To: YankeeReb

SEIU is a gangster, shakedown outfit whose former Capa di Tutti Capi, Anna Burger, is a cultural radical. Perhaps McDonald’s took this move after dealing with the Yakuza in Japan. If they become family unfriendly like “Orange & white stencil hardware” or “red & white bullseye” discounter whom we already boycott, we’ll stop going there.


31 posted on 11/03/2014 6:57:15 AM PST by CharlesOConnell (CharlesOConnell)
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To: 2001convSVT

Push the button, pink slime on, pink slime off.


32 posted on 11/03/2014 6:57:21 AM PST by JohnnyP
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To: YankeeReb

I have been predicting for some time that Walmart would eventually agree to accept unionization as the price to stay on the good side of gubbermint and maintain their quasi-monopoly.

I could foresee McDonalds doing the same. Especially if it would call off Moochelle and her Food Police.


33 posted on 11/03/2014 6:57:34 AM PST by Buckeye McFrog
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To: YankeeReb

Please include “satire” or “humor” in headline. Otherwise, you are the kid ringing a doorbell and running away.


34 posted on 11/03/2014 6:57:53 AM PST by Mamzelle
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To: Pearls Before Swine

Reads like satire.


35 posted on 11/03/2014 6:58:12 AM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: YankeeReb
For what it's worth..........

A word about posting satire


36 posted on 11/03/2014 6:58:26 AM PST by deport
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To: Rennes Templar

$8.00 Whopper at McDonalds?

Weird.


37 posted on 11/03/2014 6:58:36 AM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: Blue Jays

I thought I put it in the keywords. I may have missed it (my 15 year old windows 2000 computer is very unreliable). Apologies, my bad.


38 posted on 11/03/2014 6:58:40 AM PST by YankeeReb
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To: MrB
Reads like satire.

At least I asked, LOL.

39 posted on 11/03/2014 6:59:13 AM PST by Pearls Before Swine
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To: YankeeReb

Satire- SEIU spokesman “seymour pecunia”.

CC


40 posted on 11/03/2014 6:59:38 AM PST by Celtic Conservative (tease not the dragon for thou art crunchy when roasted and taste good with ketchup)
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