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Nominee For Holder Replacement Named
Retired Texas Vet | 9-27-14 | Retired Texas Vet

Posted on 09/27/2014 6:37:04 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

The nominee to replace Eric Holder as the US Attorney General was announced today by the White House. Travis County, Texas District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg was named.

Although not a national figure or Federal Deputy Attorney General, Rosemary Lehmberg garnered national notoriety by engineering the indictment of Gov. Rick Perry.

Valarie Jarrett, special adviser to the president, worked with an ABA search committee to find a replacement for Holder. The committee exhausted several lists of recently disciplined and disbarred lawyers seeking a lawyer with similar professional ethics and standards as Holder without success. Turning to other available pools of possible candidates, five flushes resulted in Rosemary Lehmberg floating to the surface as the best available candidate for the position.

Harry Reid has stated that he will unilaterally change the senate rules to allow probation officers, correctional personnel, and Travis County Sheriffs Deputies testify as character witnesses. Harry also stated that if Rosemary should happen to be incarcerated for PI or DUI at the time of the Senate confirmation hearings, he would not hold the hearings in a correctional facility; however, he would allow the process to take place over the internet using "Make The Meeting" software provided, if necessary, by one of his crony capitalist.

Senator Warren praised the selection. She stated that Rosemary and she were sisters from the same Western Massachusetts Indian tribe - the Bolsheviks. Sarah Palin disapproved of the selection but did suggest that they liberally apply lipstick to her before her confirmation hearings. Senator Cruz stated that he would not attend the confirmation hearings unless Rosemary was put in restraints and fitted with a spit mask. Senator Schumer said he was pleased to throw his support to the first non-lesbian Attorney General. Vice President Slow Joe Biden was caught unawares by the nomination and confusedly stated that he was running for Vice President in 2016 and would not be available for the position.

When questioned, Rosemary stated that she felt blessed by Mother Gaia to be selected. She further stated that filling Eric's shoes would be a tall task but she had been prepared by years of understudy with her idol Ronnie Earle. In fact, she felt that Eric Holder was, in essence, a black Ronnie Earle. Rosemary did feel that she could do some things better to improve relations with Congress. She felt that a "beer summit" with Congressman Issa and Lois Lerner might have toned things down. Rosemary's emphasis on beer summits was based on her own experience, "Who can stay mad at another person after a case of beer?".

Rosemary felt that the confirmation hearings might be tough with the Republicans nit picking but she would approach the hearings with a few good belts and her head held high.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ericholder; rickperry; rosemarylehmberg; satire; texas
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To: Jane Long

Yep - that’s it.


41 posted on 09/27/2014 8:41:49 PM PDT by Cribb (Home of Conservatism - America's middle class.)
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To: Logical me
More than ever before we need the Senate and keep the House. Without the Presidency we are in grave trouble and America is finished. Perhaps with the two houses we can either prevent more communists appointments. King Obama has destroyed America enough and must be stopped.

By the way, none of this would have happened if the fools that hate Romney would have thought what they were doing. All Romney haters are real fools and most are so poorly informed it is unbelievable. He was not perfect but would have saved America from the damage this second term of the communists black Muslim traitor we now have.

Not to worry those same people are once again out in force.

42 posted on 09/27/2014 8:51:42 PM PDT by Irish Eyes
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To: smoothsailing

lol!!!


43 posted on 09/27/2014 8:55:59 PM PDT by berdie
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Now you’ve done it: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3209196/posts
J/K, Jim would have anyway.

Again, very nice work!


44 posted on 09/29/2014 5:29:05 PM PDT by mrsmith (Dumb sluts: Lifeblood of the Media, Backbone of the Democrat Party!)
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To: mrsmith

Noted. Thanks.


45 posted on 09/29/2014 6:09:02 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet (Every trash can has a lid, the DNC lid is Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (aka Debbie Dipsh!t))
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