Posted on 10/17/2012 10:48:23 AM PDT by trailhkr1
New research is demonstrating what many people already knew from experience: Women lose interest in sex over time, while men don't.
The finding has the potential to help couples, the researchers said. Knowing that many women's sexual desire diminishes over the course of a relationship could encourage both partners to be more realistic about their sex lives, and could help them weather the changes in desire as they occur.
(Excerpt) Read more at mnn.com ...
Lol!
Well it is always easier to get excited about a Ferrari than an old Ford.
Most woman do. I've always suspected the ones that don't it's more hormones out of balance than anything else...even relationship issues with their spouse/boyfriend.
I'm an avid weightlifter (male) and post on a fitness /bodybuilding site. Nearly every week it seems a woman will post "I started lifting weights 2 months ago and my libido has gone off the charts..is this normal?
These women find out by lifting fairly rigoursly 3-4 times per week it increases their female testosterone enough to make a huge difference. This sex drive increase by women in the weight room has been known for years yet never talked about outside of it...and big drug wants a magical pill.
Yeah and I've met a lot of guys claiming to be Navy Seals.
“””guys, if you get married you’re sex life is going to suck....stay single and get out of the relationship after two years...”””
That isn’t true. I have been married for 23 years and we have done the deed at least a dozen times.
Women wonder why men want younger women as we age? Simple: We remember YOUNG women wanting sex - a lot of sex- but our wives have become far less interested in sex as they age.
I always used to think desiring a much younger woman was foolish. Now I am starting to understand that.
And we don’t all get fat or lose our hair ladies. Find a different EXCUSE.
remember the Seinfeld episode where George is resigned to the fact he’ll never have sex again in his life??? how much more content he is with his life??? then, after his girlfriend breaks up with him he does it with the Portuguese waitress?? “jerry- i calculated the odds of ever having sex with a portuguese waitress!!”
so i should drag my wife to the gym with me...
Oh please. I was informed of just the opposite the third day of my now decades-old marriage.
Birth control pills, stress of dealing with kids, menopause, all those things can have an effect on a woman’s sex drive. A little romance goes a long way towards helping women get in the mood. With men it’s like turning on a switch, but it doesn’t work that way with women.
Then, after a time that ecstasy state (which is a trance) is replaced with a new phase of seeing errors in one another and moving towards a state of unconditional love (we will love each other despite our imperfections or “I am not without sin, either”) where the basis of the “family ties” phase develop (trust, respect, security, babies, finances, community involvement, aging) which is much deeper and rooted. This maturity is vital for a healthy and independent family, individual and society.
But many modern adults look back at the ecstasy of falling in love and think they are now out of love because the trance phase is over. They find that phase was so exciting and pleasurable, they live life, either resenting it's passage, or seeking to re-experience it through a serious of sexual partners or porn. In doing this they stunt the growth of their ability to create and experience a healthier, deeper and more mature long term relationship and human being.
It is natural in the mating process that the escatsy phase passes and the relationship moves on to deeper, more mature state and meaning through a serious of new phases. Many are not mature enough to arrive at unconditional love for one another and they obsess on their husband or wife's imperfections and respect the passing of the escatsy phase of love. They hurt and wound each other and themselves. They stunt their growth and miss the relationship phase that is moving towards the development of human wisdom, security, love and trust.
What happens is they split up (or move to fantasy - porn - to try and conjure the ecstasy phase of human love with their hands and objects) and move on to the next lover and repeat the process. That is called adultery and abandonment and it's hugely destructive to the most precious aspect of the adult human experience and development - melding as one with another human being and learning and experiencing unconditional love. A relationship is the only place on earth humans can experience unconditional love with another and mature self control where destructive immediate gratification or impulsiveness is overcome for self and offspring. It is the hightest state of love or being.
In a long string of seeking ecstasy, the ability to acheive the trance state through sex is no longer a possibility for that person and sex becomes totally stunted, mechanical or material, unattached to love and spirit and unable to mature naturally.
Resentment, selfish cunning, distrust, heartless manipulation, abuse... That is what comes in for those who don't mature in a marriage relationship as they were designed by nature to occur. Hanging onto the desire for the escatsy phase is growth stunting like living your life wishing and acting as if you were six years old even though you are a 30 year old man or woman.
Not maturing in the natural progression of a human relationship, makes for a dysfunctional individual and when a society is composed of too many of these individuals, it makes for a communist/police state society where a father government must rule over a society of selfish, unwise, stunted and wounded adults. That is why we are where we are in the progression of our Republic's death.
I am certain that humanity is designed to survive, mature and thrive in the husband and wife and extended family relationship. Whether we come to understand it or not, the reality does not change. We can shop for “something better” or more exciting but we will stunt our growth and often destroy ourselves, our lovers, our offspring and society, in the process.
Woman are having sex with younger men now a days and young women don't want an old fool who can't screw unless he has a wallet full of cash and willing to hand it over.
This “viagra” marketed world of extreme sexualization which removes the sex act from committed, loving people who want to procreate with one another-—is creating rediculous fantasy, expectations, etc., which are unrealizable and void of deeper, needed meaning. It frustrates everyone—because it goes against Nature.
No mature, healthy person (especially women) want to have sex with anyone who truly doesn’t care for them and won’t commit. Our society is trying to force girls to think “Sex is fun” when it is removed from commitment and love and procreation. It never is for women.
Men need the same affirmation and love, they don’t realize it until they have a true loving relationship. For lifelong happiness, selflessness is necessary. Without that Christian concept, respect and dignity for each other will probably disintegrate in such close, intimate, long term environments where familiarity is not as exciting as the “new”—unless you develop the mind and character. All human beings need to grow and gain in wisdom to be happy. That is what is missing in everyone’s TV, bread and circuses lives. Understand that need for Wisdom is key to any relationship-—it is the intellect that truly separates us from the beasts. We are letting it atrophy and it kills relationships because they are boring and unexciting and not really advancing us—making us better than what we were yesterday.
That is why Twilight was such a hit with women.....that die-for-you-love and commitment to only one person when he could have anyone he wants. It is the healthy fantasy which all women need as young girls. The reality, though, is always flawed—but that is life. Excitement in sex wanes, but knowledge is the long-term spice of life. Socrates and Confucius clearly illustrated that concept. There is a hierarchy of fulfillment and sex dominates a period of life which is normal—but, it doesn’t end with “sex” as the Marxists want you to believe, so they can make you into idiot slaves. It is the freedom of the mind and wisdom which is the ultimate orgasm which surpassed all other experiences. That said-—people have their needs and those should be respected by both caring and loving partners whose life will remain exciting if they have a love for knowledge with that love and respect for each other.
Sex lives—is so overrated by the sex-obsessed perverts in Hollywood, trying to make the sex act into something above the dignity and worth of human beings. They reduce humans into rutting animals with no concern for the emotional health and dignity of “partners”-—which can’t ever be healthily separated. When it is-—no relationship will last and the sex act becomes boring—since it is really meaningless, not tied to deep love and affection.
If we assume that a satisfactory experience requres that both participants have an interest in the activity, then there is a mathematical result from the fact that the couple won't be interested at the same time.
Assume that each of a couple are interested in having sex 95% of the time that there is an opportunity.
Assuming that the presence or absence of interest of each is completely random, then the opportunities where both are interested will be the product of the two rates; or in this case, .95 x .95, or about .9 which is 90% of the time. Ninety-five percent of the remaining 10%, each partner will be dissatisfied.
If, for whatever reason, the interest level of both parties drops to 50%, then the rate of occurrence of mutual interest will be .5 x .5 , which means that both parties will be interested only 25% of the time that an opportunity arises.
Each of the parties described above will be experiencing reduced interest, but they will also experience a disappointment rate of about 50%; that is, half the time that they are interested, their partner is not.
One might not notice that their own interest level is decreased; one simply is interested in something else. But one would certainly notice when their partner is interested only half the time, where previously they were interested 90% of the time. Each partner would probably perceive that it is the other's reduced interest which is resulting in the reduced activitiy and the dissatisfaction which might result.
So are you saying that you believe that the “family ties” phase .. (trust, respect, security, babies, finances, community involvement, aging)..” and an active, ongoing sexual attraction are mutually exclusive?
Rodney Dangerfield: “Everything my wife learned about sex she got from a manual, our gardener...”
No, I am not saying that! LOL I am saying that the initial over-the-top emotional and sexual experience will pass into a whole relationship, which include sex, ofcourse. But unlike the first phase, the state of sex is not overwhelming like it was in the the beginning.
Many people (they are encouraged in our current culture of shallow and stupid) don’t want it to end and resent it ending, using it as a measuring stick on to devaule sex and love within relationship after that initial trance phase passes.
They lose interest in sex with their husband or wife because it’s “not as thrilling” and turn to porn or cheating in an effort to recreate that phase over and over again until they become numb and have wrecked themselves and others.
They never have the chance for the experiences necessary to mature into the deeper aspects of human nature like wisdom, loyality, trust, unconditional love, mercy, selflessness, security and forgiveness. The pursuit of phase one stunts their growth and ends up warping their perceptions of reality and truth.
Many don’t understand it is a short phase in the natural mating process (that God!) and it is supposed to pass so that other, deeper growth phases in the relationship can occur. It exaggerates or produces a mentality that claims sex is central to a relationship when in reality, it is only one small part of the whole. Sex is not love. Love is much bigger than that (thank God!).
yes. one would think so.
As an avid, female weight lifter (2-3 days a week) for 20+ years, you’re aren’t going to get any arguments here ;).
I agree with most of your post except the line above...97% of men do not need love or commitment to want to have sex with a woman...they just want the physical release.- while women generally need the emotional aspect but not all. There is an old saying "men cheat for sex which is lacking n their marriage, women cheat for emotional love which is lacking in their marriage"
Yeah, long term sex is better with someone you love I won't deny that but 97% of single/unnattached men if a young,attractive woman approaches them one evening for NSA sex they will think they won the lottery. The other 3% are either gay, asexual or lying.
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