Posted on 10/24/2018 10:58:15 AM PDT by MeganC
About a year ago I saw a feminist program which talked about how virginity wasn't such a big deal and how girls should feel free to experience their sexuality so long as pills, creams, condoms, and legal consent forms were involved. Through the course of the program the act of sex was reduced to little more than a routine biological function akin to going to the bathroom or eating.
Ironically, as the program sought to warn girls about being objectified it also managed to reduce men into support systems for penises. And the sole purpose of the penis was clearly objectified as a sex toy for a woman's pleasure and nothing more.
I've had more than a year to dwell on this and today found myself compelled to write about it.
Let me start by saying that I have a number of female friends who I keep in touch with and the majority of them have had failed marriages and a series of failed relationships. These women (Republican and Democrat alike) espouse the standard modern opinions about how women are supposed to be leaders in the household, leaders at work, and leaders in society. Yet their lives are a shambles.
Now also let me note that I am not perfect. Nope. Not at all.
And when I share my perceptions about my own experiences and views of life please know that I came from the exact same background as my friends did. I too have harbored most of the same modern ideas of feminism as are common in our society these days.
Just to touch on a few of those ideas let me list some of them and in no particular order:
1. Sex is no big deal.
2. Women should not get married until after they turn thirty.
3. Women should experience sex with different men so they can be equal with men.
4. Pregnancy is a medical condition requiring treatment and it should be avoided by intelligent women.
5. If you do insist on having children then have just one.
6. Men should be submissive, nurturing, and physically weak.
7. A woman should have at least a Master's degree and should have a successful career before she might have a child at around age forty.
8. Being childless is socially progressive especially if you're an educated, professional, white woman.
9. Lesbianism is not just acceptable it is socially preferable in a growing segment of society.
10. Men oppress women by marrying them and forcing them to assume traditional gender roles.
Is that enough? I think so.
These are just a few examples of the anti-values that the broad spectrum of the left has so successfully foisted onto our society that many on the right now adhere to them as well.
And the result has been a society in which the broken home, the single mother, and the fatherless child are now seen as socially acceptable. Perhaps even socially applauded.
Yet when I look at my female friends who uphold these anti-values what I see are emotionally broken people. I see alcohol and drug abuse. I see angry women who think they were betrayed by the feminized men in their lives. I see women who have lived the feminist ideal and yet who end up feeling empty, unfulfilled, and absent of satisfaction in life.
And myself I think it all goes back to our views on virginity and the unintended consequences of birth control.
(Disclaimer: No, I am not a Catholic.)
To understand where we are on this subject we first need to understand where we came from as a society.
Prior to the advent of birth control a woman's virginity was very significant.
It mattered because when she would marry then on her wedding night there was the very real chance that she would become pregnant and bear a child for her husband.
Sex was not just a biological function it was a lifetime commitment and it came with some massive ramifications. It also meant that the woman was bonded to her husband because of their mutual decision to not just have a wedding and a wedding night, but to start a family and to commit to everything that is required to raising a family. Marriage and the act of sex were inseparable and anyone engaging in sex outside of marriage was properly seen as rash and irresponsible.
And a woman's virginity had VALUE.
It was a gift and not just of the woman's body but of her heart, her soul, and her life. When a woman gave her virginity to her husband she was saying to him that she would spend her life at his side and together they would face life's challenges for better or for worse.
Now remember I said I came from the same background as my friends?
Despite the social indoctrination I had received in my childhood I found myself at about age sixteen with a growing desire to be a wife and mother. College and career were held out to me as my only acceptable options yet something inside me was pulling me in a different direction.
My desires only grew stronger and even though I'd sometimes face rebuke from my friends for confessing my preference for domesticity over a career I wasn't deterred.
After I was eighteen I sought out and found what I wanted. He wanted a traditional wife and a large family and that was what I wanted, too. A short courtship led to a modest wedding attended only by a handful of my friends and even the friends who attended the wedding didn't approve.
That evening I found myself absolutely intimidated by the magnitude of what was about to happen. The very real possibility that I would be pregnant the next day was not lost on me and while I was thrilled to be with my husband I was also terrified of the awesome thing that was taking place.
It is now ten years since I first met my husband and in March it will be ten years since we wed. We have seven children and one more is on the way and should arrive in January.
(Oh, and did you recoil a little at reading that I will soon have eight children? That recoiling you felt was part of the feminist conditioning that you now accept as normal.)
After high school my friends mostly put off getting married until the last few years. Some of them haven't been married and may well live their lives single. Some of the women who got married have already been divorced.
Of the eight or nine girls I was close to in school I have more children now than all of them combined.
They have careers, they have college debts to pay off, only one of them is married and has purchased a home, none of them go to church on a regular basis, and I can't say that any of them has ever bragged to me about how happy they are. They also all gave away their most precious gift to someone who has now left their lives. Some of them did so in high school.
Sadly, I didn't give my husband my virginity on my wedding night. That was taken away from me and it wasn't my decision. But I did give him everything I had to give and he in turn has done the same for me.
There are no empty acts or promises between us.
Forgive me my imperfect end to this essay. There is no major point or takeaway that I'm trying to make here.
I'm just wanting to say that the feminist ideal has cheated women and it has lied to them by convincing them that one of the most special and treasured parts of being a woman is of no significance at all. It's not even noteworthy when it happens...no more so than when you first brush your teeth.
And I think we women have lost something in embracing feminist anti-values as normal.
Megan
To all the virgins of the world...thanks for nothing.
Good for you.
I had an employee named Virginia.
She said it was Virgin for short,
but not for long.
I always told my daughters that they don’t want the baggage later in life that comes with multiple partners and relationships. I tell them still to guard their naivete. It is a gift from Almighty God and you can never get it back.
Guys lie abut getting laid in high school ( think Kavanaugh ) and gals lie about being virgins through all of their high school years. Face it, it is so easy for gals to get some. It is the way of life.
After reading your wonderful statement and many of the comments of readers here, I wondered how much this has to do with George Soros. So here is a LIST of all the crap he is involved in @ https://oathkeepers.org/2017/02/organizations-funded-directly-george-soros-open-society-foundations/
Includes: NOW, ACLU,many immigration (open borders) groups. Someone needs to investigate this SOB.
It is...for the lower animals. And those easy lib chix.
Many men may screw sluts. Very few good men will marry them. Same goes for men who have loose morals. Good women won’t marry those men, either.
1. I congratulate you and your husband on your marriage and your children.
2. Notice that Virgin = Female in our culture - secular or ecclesiastical. What of male virgins?
I have pursued the Word since age five. I have served in lay ministry, and on church staff, in two denominations. Groomed by theologians from age sixteen, I finally balked at attending seminary when I realized how Marxist in teaching (e.g., Frankfurt School Higher Criticism) they had become.
I have never been a bad boy or a success object, so none of the ostensibly spiritual church girls I knew wanted me as a husband - although many of them valued me as a friend and mentor. I was told by several women that I was the most honorable man they had ever known - and yet they wouldn’t date me.
My unwilling choice was to remain chaste and celibate. I have since then distanced myself from most church girls who used me as a surrogate for their emotional needs; some of them are now on their second or third marriage.
When crises arose in these congregations - heresy from the pulpit, long-term spousal abuse - it was I, the non-macho decent guy who never got drunk or swore, who waged a lonely campaign against the corruption. All the much-heralded tough guys, the real men, the jocks, the cops, the husbands, the leaders, were nowhere to be found. They were selfish cowards who refused to take a moral or spiritual stand.
I was formally denounced by the Elders for Scripturally exposing the heresy at the first church. The man whose position of authority in that church I later questioned (unrelated to the heresy), based on his apparent backsliding, eventually was murdered in broad daylight by a jealous husband. The clergy denied any responsibility, although it was a publicized regional scandal. I was no hope there, so I left.
At the second church, I spent two years on the inside imploring my superiors to act on the spousal abuse I learned was taking place, involving a man who occasionally was invited to read the Scriptures in morning worship. Finally, fearing the wife’s suicide, I hired an attorney, delineated all I knew in a 132-page document, and sent copies to all clergy and deacons. At least the woman did not commit suicide, and eventually left the husband, who had also committed adultery. My ministry - such as it was - was over.
I am a male virgin, and there is not a single congregation in the land that celebrates my kind. (Catholic Priests do not count here.) I am considered anomalous, embarassing, or irrelevant. A man like me is ignored out of existence.
I finally figured it out: A character on a t.v. show said, “No one celebrates what didn’t happen.”
I never deflowered a young girl. I never impregnated a woman out of wedlock. I never bragged about my many female conquests like so many of the good ol’ regular guys in the church.
And no one in the church cares. But if I were a Prodigal Son who told in his salacious testimony of seducing and defiling scores of women, and then meeting Christ and repenting, then - then - I would be celebrated.
The contempt I now feel for Churchianity and its depraved mores is beyond articulation. Homoerotic males receive far more sympathy, compassion, and respect in today’s institutionalized church than a genuinely chaste male.
I was no hope... = I saw no hope...
I hear you both. The current crop of young women in post-Christian America is horrifying. Mine are older than yours, and among myself and my women friends, there have been several wrecked marriages and trashed engagements that have broken our sons’ hearts because the women were unfaithful, many within months of the large, expensive engagements or weddings. These “have it all" feminism-tainted college women met someone else at work or online...
I notice from watching the Duggars on tv that they appear to have a network of other families with similar values regarding virginity, courtship and marriage. I am not a fan of the Duggar parents’ personalities, and it’s clear they had a problem of naivete with their oldest son, but for what it’s worth...
Maybe there are homeschool associations near where you live that would have promising young girls and boys coming up, and you could have family get-togethers with their families. Just a thought... You also might explore whether your church can find good study units for young teenagers to prepare them for marriage, since they start being sexualized by the culture even younger than that. Any way to start them off with at least a textbook idea of the issues, in addition to your good example.
Megan, your essay is just wonderful. May God bless your family profoundly.
Stand tall. You sound like a warrior to me...............
Ping! You may really like this essay.
My son met and dated another homeschooling girl.
Bright intelligent,with a great future and a wish to courtship.
Went to a private catholic school, when her desire to be in the world crashed into her family values. She decided to go into the world bigly. She wanted a family and home life, but wanted work in international law in Washington. She wanted my son to be a leader, and at the same time dictated when and where they were going to live and that he would quit his job and follow her, with out a wedding.
He refused because he wanted to discuss it with her. Now she has him in court for harassment, and her father, a big deal, has been harassing our family and threatened me with arrest, fortunately the officer involved, realized the situation and stepped down.
Never do I recommend one of those nice Christian girls to him. I tell him to go East. He would if he wasn’t so partial to blondes.
Yep. I told my son that when he is married with kids, he doesn’t want some ex-girlfriend running into him while he’s out with the family or calling or texting, drunk and crying, wishing she had never broken up with him years ago...
I do not understand what you mean by that. Washington DC is in the east. Where is the starting point?
Asian Women
Well stated, Megan!
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