1. I congratulate you and your husband on your marriage and your children.
2. Notice that Virgin = Female in our culture - secular or ecclesiastical. What of male virgins?
I have pursued the Word since age five. I have served in lay ministry, and on church staff, in two denominations. Groomed by theologians from age sixteen, I finally balked at attending seminary when I realized how Marxist in teaching (e.g., Frankfurt School Higher Criticism) they had become.
I have never been a bad boy or a success object, so none of the ostensibly spiritual church girls I knew wanted me as a husband - although many of them valued me as a friend and mentor. I was told by several women that I was the most honorable man they had ever known - and yet they wouldn’t date me.
My unwilling choice was to remain chaste and celibate. I have since then distanced myself from most church girls who used me as a surrogate for their emotional needs; some of them are now on their second or third marriage.
When crises arose in these congregations - heresy from the pulpit, long-term spousal abuse - it was I, the non-macho decent guy who never got drunk or swore, who waged a lonely campaign against the corruption. All the much-heralded tough guys, the real men, the jocks, the cops, the husbands, the leaders, were nowhere to be found. They were selfish cowards who refused to take a moral or spiritual stand.
I was formally denounced by the Elders for Scripturally exposing the heresy at the first church. The man whose position of authority in that church I later questioned (unrelated to the heresy), based on his apparent backsliding, eventually was murdered in broad daylight by a jealous husband. The clergy denied any responsibility, although it was a publicized regional scandal. I was no hope there, so I left.
At the second church, I spent two years on the inside imploring my superiors to act on the spousal abuse I learned was taking place, involving a man who occasionally was invited to read the Scriptures in morning worship. Finally, fearing the wife’s suicide, I hired an attorney, delineated all I knew in a 132-page document, and sent copies to all clergy and deacons. At least the woman did not commit suicide, and eventually left the husband, who had also committed adultery. My ministry - such as it was - was over.
I am a male virgin, and there is not a single congregation in the land that celebrates my kind. (Catholic Priests do not count here.) I am considered anomalous, embarassing, or irrelevant. A man like me is ignored out of existence.
I finally figured it out: A character on a t.v. show said, “No one celebrates what didn’t happen.”
I never deflowered a young girl. I never impregnated a woman out of wedlock. I never bragged about my many female conquests like so many of the good ol’ regular guys in the church.
And no one in the church cares. But if I were a Prodigal Son who told in his salacious testimony of seducing and defiling scores of women, and then meeting Christ and repenting, then - then - I would be celebrated.
The contempt I now feel for Churchianity and its depraved mores is beyond articulation. Homoerotic males receive far more sympathy, compassion, and respect in today’s institutionalized church than a genuinely chaste male.
I was no hope... = I saw no hope...
Stand tall. You sound like a warrior to me...............
I see you and I'd recommend you to so many - but my friends are married or not worthy of you.
I'll keep you in my prayers that you are blessed with a wife who sees your value and worth. But you are right - hedonism is celebrated and the repentance more than the one who has remained steadfast and faithful.