The ‘Eurovision Song Contest’: A Primer for Dumb Americans

observer.com ^ | 05/13/16 | Dana Schwartz

[Berlin_Freeper]

Imagine you’re in high school and you find out for the past 50 years, there’s been a massive annual party that everyone else just assumed everyone else knew about but you were never invited. And also, the party has glorious dance music, over-the-top costumes, and human-sized hamster wheels.

That’s how it feels to be an American who is only now finding out about Eurovision Song Contest.

From what I can gather, the European Song Contest is like American Idol in its heyday, if you took every boring white guy with a guitar and replaced him with a techno dancer in drag and also everyone was huffing glue. It’s a visual orgasm of sequins and visual effects that one can only hope to understand through excessive YouTube research of previous acts. And tomorrow it’s airing live in America for the first time.

[Berlin_Freeper]

Tonight

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

It’s on the “Logo” network here in the US? Tells me all I need to know. Count me out.

[Berlin_Freeper]

Eurovision 2016: Russia's Sergey Lazarev favourite to win

[Berlin_Freeper]

Bulgaria set for best ever Eurovision result with Poli Genova

[Berlin_Freeper]

Jamie-Lee - Ghost (Germany) 2016 Eurovision Song Contest

[Sirius Lee]

if you took every boring white guy with a guitar and replaced him with a techno dancer in drag and also everyone was huffing glue.....you'd have a showcase of faggotry.

[Berlin_Freeper]

Half a year ago, you were just a school girl.

[Cowboy Bob]

The last good Eurovision was when it was held in Moscow. There were about 5-6 good songs. Since then, they have mostly sucked - very boring. The winning by the “bearded lady” was purely political, and I think has really damaged Eurovision.

[EEGator]

[Vanders9]

Eurovision is a cultic institution, but to be fair it has boosted the careers of an awful lot of very big names over the years. Main examples are Abba, Celine Dion, Sandie Shaw, Olivia Newton John, Dana...Riverdance got its big break on Eurovision too.

These days its morphed into a massive visual spectacle of lighting and political posturing in which insipid music is largely incidental. I'll be watching it tonight, even though the British have largely given up on it. :)

[Vanders9]

The whole thing is largely political now. It has been for years.

[yuleeyahoo]

Imagine you’re in high school and you find out for the past 50 years, there’s been a massive annual party that everyone else just assumed everyone else knew about but you were never invited.

Au contraire mon ami, I have known about it for decades. I just don't care. It is very political and the best acts almost never win.

[miss marmelstein]

Now, after Joe Scarborough pushed soccer down our throats, we have to be subjected this musical drivel? No thank you. I’ll stick with the Great American Songbook.

The only good that contest ever produced was ABBA and a lot of Americans hate THEM.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Many of us Freepers know about it but just don’t care. Seen posts over the years here with the contest winners. Go to their music and it’s good but not enough for me to go out and buy it.

[CIB-173RDABN]

YouTube has it. (actually if it is video YouTube has it all)

[InterceptPoint]

ABBA: Eurovision Winner in 1974 with Waterloo

YouTube: What a great, great asset. You can love or hate Google but you have to love YouTube.

[vladimir998]

Silly bread and circuses for the Euromasses.

[vladimir998]

What self-respecting German couple would name their kid “Jamie-Lee”????

That’s depressing.

[PAR35]

I predict Ukraine to win for political reasons.

[Moltke]

True. And if it doesn’t work our for her she can always keep that costume and go and do porn in Japan.