Posted on 03/17/2015 11:53:22 AM PDT by John Semmens
The California Transplant Donor Network hailed California’s policy of granting driver’s licenses to persons in the country illegally for boosting organs available for transplant by an estimated 30 percent.
Marcella Corona, community development liaison for the Transplant Donor Network, cited two factors she felt were “critical components of this good news. Obviously, by putting more drivers on the road there will be more potential crashes resulting in brain-dead victims—the prime source of organs for transplant. But the gains are likely to be even greater than mere numbers portend. On average, the driving skills of people from Latin America are decades behind those of native Americans. This creates a statistic probability there will be a larger ratio of crashes per vehicle-mile of travel. A larger ratio of crashes on a larger base of vehicle-miles means more organs will be available for transplant.”
“The demographics of the crashes is also good news for Hispanics waiting for organs,” Corona pointed out. “With an increase in the number of persons of similar ethnic origin suffering fatal consequences on the road, the chances for a tissue match will be improved. More Hispanic lives can then be saved by timely transplants.”
In related news, migrants from Central America are demanding that the US government provide safer transportation to the US-Mexican border. “Too many compadres are being hurt or killed hopping la bestia (the name migrants have given the freight trains they ride transiting Mexico),” complained amputee Manuel Obrero. Obrero lost a leg when he fell between the cars of the train. “There needs to be a safer way for us to get here.”
The ACLU is reportedly considering filing a class action lawsuit on behalf of Obrero and others injured while making their way to the United States. “By his actions, President Obama, in effect, invited these people to come,” said ACLU spokesman Bertram Petty. “At the same time, the United States has not done enough to ensure a safe trip. In our view, these people are owed damages under the ‘attractive nuisance’ doctrine.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2015/03/14/obama-admin-may-bypass-congress-seek-un-approval-of-iran-deal/
...from crash victims?
That is the gubmint attitude.
Harvest them!
It’s less fun when these articles are marked “satire” upfront.
Includes well-pickled livers, too, no doubt.
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