Posted on 12/18/2014 9:28:35 AM PST by John Semmens
With his country’s economy on the ropes due to declining oil prices, Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro blamed the United States oil fracking industry.
“It is an act of aggression against my country and a crime against humanity,” Maduro maintained. “Venezuela needs high oil prices to support our programs to feed our people. These frackers are destroying our ability to feed ourselves.”
While most economists see falling fuel prices as beneficial for the vast majority of consumers, Maduro complained that “most of the beneficiaries are rich, white Americans. Saving them money at our cost is a direct attack on my government’s ability to pacify our population.”
Maduro characterized the economic impact as “worse than if US troops had invaded. I could have rallied my people against that. But the decline in subsistence payments forced on me by falling oil prices is something the voters will blame on me.”
US President Obama expressed his sympathy for Maduro’s plight. “I don’t like low fuel prices anymore than he does. Boosting the cost of gasoline and heating oil has been a key plank of my program to promote environmentally friendly solar and wind power. This whole fracking thing has gotten out of hand. Reining it in is on my ‘to do’ list before I leave office.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2014/12/13/cromnibus-puts-taxpayers-on-hook-for-bank-losses/
Yes, it most certainly is a “harmful act”,
because it makes the only income producing commodity of dictatorships
worth a lot less, thereby exposing the failure of those regimes.
Dang... you got me again.
What is he going to do, send thugs across the US border and attack us?....oh wait!
And in the not satire news:
Venezuelan President: U.S. Fracking Has ‘Flooded’ Oil Markets
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/joseph-rossell/2014/12/12/venezuelan-president-us-fracking-has-flooded-oil-markets
“The oil they’re taking from (shale deposits) and the gas. They’ve flooded the international market to batter the Russian economy ..., Iran and to hurt us, Venezuela,”...
- - - - - -
Senate sanctions Venezuelan human rights violators
http://thehill.com/blogs/floor-action/senate/226394-senate-sanctions-venezuelan-human-rights-violators
The Venezuela Defense of Human Rights and Civil Society Act directs President Obama to sanction against any current or former Venezuelan government official who violated the rights of ant-government protestors this year.
Menendez’s bill comes as peaceful protestors in Venezuela have been killed and tortured by Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro.
Oil producers use steel for pipes, made in America by Americans. They use sand for fracking, mined in America by Americans. They transport pipe and oil on trucks and trains, all driven by Americans. They hire Americans to work the fields. American oil workers eat at restaurants owned by Americans. They pay royalties to Americans for using their land.
Yet Americans will take the 'savings' on gas prices and buy things made in China, sending money out of the country.
What a deal!
This one got me too... But I submit that sometimes these stories from that site are more of a hoax than satire. Shouldn’t satire should be humorous in some way? This reads like a perfectly believable news story that just happens not not be strictly true. The chuckle you experince when you realize you have been had is a “pranked” chuckle, not a satire chuckle.
John’s really good at writing “satire” that is entirely credible - these are things that the subjects of the articles WOULD actually say if they were honest.
And it’s my own fault - I know who he is, and he puts “seminews/semisatire” in his headers.
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