Posted on 10/16/2014 11:34:54 AM PDT by lifeofgrace
Halloween is my least favorite time of year. Every year, I get tired of telling people why I don’t observe Halloween, why my kids don’t dress up and go trick-or-treating, and why our porch light is dark on October 31st. I am then accused of being a grinch, or a humbug, or a kid hater, or some religious nut, or a prude. I am none of these things. I simply see no useful reason why there’s a holiday called Halloween, or why anyone should celebrate it.
Halloween is a celebration of fear, secrecy, darkness, death, and mayhem. It ruins children and coats the poison with candy. Halloween is a holiday for the ignorant, a day set aside to honor a lack of knowledge, by people who don’t care enough to gain it. Halloween is a feast of stupid self-indulgence. There’s nothing positive I can say about that day, no matter how much fun it may be to dress up, join a bunch of other people, walk door to door demanding candy, then go home and gorge yourself on it while watching horror movies.
Before you shoot the messenger, let me clear up a few things.
I grew up with Halloween like most American children. We went out trick-or-treating every year. I remember wearing some kind of costume and knocking on doors, asking for candy. It was a somewhat simpler time—the late 60’s and the 70’s. We didn’t worry so much about gang violence or child abductions. We went out carrying little orange plastic pails decorated like jack-o-lanterns, dressed in store-bought Bugs Bunny or Hong Kong Phooey costumes, or a homemade ghost or vampire with plastic fangs. We feasted on Pez, Bubblicious, M&M’s, and the coveted Reese’s Cups until we were sugar-buzzed and sick to our stomachs.
I was never abused as a child, or scared witless by some stranger. I have no fear of clowns or costumes. My biggest fear as a kid was X-rays; I could never watch the title sequence of the Six Million Dollar Man because there was an X-ray of a skull in it. That just freaked me out. I’ve never recovered—to this day I can’t watch House without getting nightmares. You don’t see too many kids walking around on Halloween dressed up as X-rays so I think that’s safe.
I am also not a dentist or the child of one (I couldn’t handle being regularly bitten by children anyway). I have no bias against sugary treats. My kids can chow down on candy as much as any privileged American children. I’m also not against dressing up in costumes.
About now is when you ask me “so why do you hate Halloween if none of those things bother you?” Obviously I’m not ruined and I celebrated Halloween, you say. I’m not ruined because I possess some truth of what Halloween really is.
This would be the point where you think I’m going to tell you that Satanists bounce out of the woods, kidnap your children and perform blood sacrifice on them before killing them and burning their bodies. No, those would be insane murderers, and if there were any chance of it happening on Halloween, the authorities would be all over it. Let me debunk the typical myths. Strangers don’t poison candy, put razor blades in apples, or abduct children on Halloween. The biggest safety hazard during trick-or-treat is being hit by a car. If you do it during the daylight, that cuts the risk significantly.
There. Now we can be reasonable and throw out all the nutty stories and stick to facts.
You may know a bit about the origins of Halloween. Back before much of recorded history, in what historians call “antiquity”, the Celtics and druids celebrated a Pagan holiday called Samhain (SOW-in), as the end of summer, halfway between the Autumnal Equinox and the Winter Solstice. They believed that the shortening of the days, and the advent of cold weather (it’s northern Europe, nasty climate and all) signified the dying of the world each year, and that evil spirits would walk the earth looking to possess or consume the living. They would dance around bonfires and dress up in various costumes to “entertain the spirits”, to avoid being possessed.
But that’s not the Halloween we celebrate today. It’s short for All Hallows Eve, which is the day before All Hallows Day. A bonus question: isn’t there another day called All Souls Day? Yes, there is, and if you knew that, you’re probably Roman Catholic. Here’s the progression: All Saints Day is a Catholic Feast day commemorating the saints who have entered Heaven. It’s followed by All Souls Day, which commends us to pray for souls who are being purified in purgatory or have entered Heaven to commune with us who are still living on the Earth.
In short, Catholics believe that we can pray for the dead and the dead will pray for us.
Over time, as Catholicism moved into northern Europe, they started evangelizing the Celtics and druids. Pope Gregory IV moved the traditional May celebrations of All Hallows Day and All Souls Day to November 1-2, to coincide with Samhain. You see, Bibles were rare back then, and it was simply much easier to give the heathens a new holiday to celebrate than the actually teach them Biblical truth. In those days the Catholic Church in 846 A.D. was not a particularly Bible-focused organization—it was more like the Cosa Nostra than the Sisters of Mercy.
The two holidays merged: the Catholic belief in communion with the dead, and the pagan belief in evil spirits, and gave birth to Halloween. Today, modern druids (the Order of Bards, Ovates & Druids) celebrate Samhain much as the ancients did. If you’re one of these, you have my blessing to carry on…you’re wrong about many things, but at least you’re not a hypocrite.
In Part 2 we’ll review how Halloween ruins kids and celebrates ignorance and death.
Christmas has roots in pagan winter solstice rituals. Does that make it bad, too?
Well! I’m numb with anticipation.
Other than April 15, the chief democrat holiday is October 31, where massive hoards with a feeling of entitlement wander from door to door demanding goodies and threatening malicious acts if they are not satisfied.
The best Halloweens were during the 80’s when my bands would play and the Strippers would be wearing Naughty Nurse costumes.
Well, yes, Christmas is bad for a variety of reasons. So is Halloween. Thanksgiving I like.
Easter, as well. They were merged purposely.
Barf.
I’m guessing Berman doesn’t do Easter or Christmas either.
Since those two holidays also have ties to ancient heathen cults or practices.
Actually, it’s the public school system that ruins kids and celebrates ignorance and death.
The author's kids probably know who is ruining their childhood.
I used to like Halloween - a “holiday” that was pure fun.
Back when I was a kid, we made our own costumes, so there was a lot of planning and creativity involved. We’d start a couple of weeks in advance collecting the materials we’d need - old sheets, cardboard boxes, the right stick for a hobo’s bindle, old clothes, etc. About the only thing we’d buy was facepaint. Our parents were rarely involved in the creation of costumes. Older kids would help the younger ones.
Now, kids who make their costumes are laughed at. Everyone needs an elaborate store-bought costume.
I know I sound like an old fogey, but I am one!
Thanksgiving I like.
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Its my favorite holiday actually. Although - using liberal logic here - we should BAN Thanksgiving.
After all, it celebrates the evil white European man’s dominance of the conquest of Native American indigenous people.
Wow,this is a perfect example of over-thinking something.
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Here’s another shocker for yunz. In observance of my Celtic ancestors and heritage I sometimes paint myself blue and jump the Beltane fire.
The article is what is STUPID!
...but now I'm a miserable jerk who refuses to take a couple hours out of my year to hand out candy because I overanalyze Halloween & feel compelled to explain my thoughts to all those people who do enjoy Halloween.
We love Halloween. The person writing this article has the right to express their opinion, as well any other Freeper, but we aren’t going to be moved by it.
We live in rural California. NO Trick or Treaters in the 27 Halloweens since we moved here, but we decorate regardless. The reason no Trick or Treaters come here is due the massive amount of Coyote’s howling, and yipping, and growling outside our fences, and gates. For some reason this causes great anxiety amongst would be Trick or Treater’s Moms.
This place is a real Monster Bash for about a month with all sorts of creepy monsters, Zombies, Werewolfs, jumping spiders, Witches, coffins filled with skeletons, Ghosts, special effect lighting, and many of the monster’s are animated, with various spooky sounds, and phrases. Lots of fun just for us, and we get to keep the candy.
We don’t drink, or party. We just have fun our way. Love Halloween.
Hee, hee, hee......not an issue here.....our drive is 1/2 twisty, hilly mile through heavy hardwood forest is so spooky that everyone is afraid to even find out what’s at the end.......
only one Halloween did we have trick-or-treaters - 2 boys in the only house on our drive 1/4 mile up our drive.....
“You see, Bibles were rare back then, and it was simply much easier to give the heathens a new holiday to celebrate than the actually teach them Biblical truth. “
Yeah, Popes despaired at the shallowness and hollowness of Christianity so they cynically played with dates to pack ‘em in. Just like Sheldon Coopers’ origins of Christmas tale.
Bunch of stupid crap.
Not any worse than Easter Egg Hunting.
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