Halloween is my least favorite time of year. Every year, I get tired of telling people why I don’t observe Halloween, why my kids don’t dress up and go trick-or-treating, and why our porch light is dark on October 31st. I am then accused of being a grinch, or a humbug, or a kid hater, or some religious nut, or a prude. I am none of these things. I simply see no useful reason why there’s a holiday called Halloween, or why anyone should celebrate it. Halloween is a celebration of fear, secrecy, darkness, death, and mayhem. It ruins children...