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President Says He’s Done More for America than Any of His Predecessors
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 Nov 2013 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/12/2013 8:13:10 AM PST by John Semmens

In an interview with NBC’s Chuck Todd, President Obama complained that he is being unfairly blamed for the failures of his signature Obamacare legislation, “especially since I have probably done more for this country than any prior President has.”

“My critics are whining about the glitches in the website that are impeding the process of getting Americans signed up for health insurance,” the President said. “They say that the new plans are too costly, that people are being forced to buy coverage for events that will never happen to them—like getting abortions or sex-changes that their faith prohibits. Well, the website will eventually be fixed. And even if the events never happen to the persons forced to pay for coverage they will happen to others. What many overlook is that a big part of the new healthcare law is to shift the focus away from selfish individual concerns toward a greater sense of social responsibility. Before we’re done we will all be our brothers’ keepers.”

Obamacare wasn’t the only accomplishment the President felt was under appreciated. “I have kept America safe by ordering the assassination of uncounted dangerous enemies,” he boasted. “Even the great FDR balked at attempting to take out Hitler—opting instead to incur millions of casualties on both sides over a three-year struggle. Granted, he didn’t have the capability for surgical strikes launched from drones, but still, he carelessly took taking out high value individual targets off the table.”

“I ended two wars—one in Iraq and one in Afghanistan,” Obama continued. “No other President has done that. This ought to shut up those who say I didn’t deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.”

“And another thing people overlook is the millions of Americans who are no longer looking for work,” the President added. “Workforce participation is smaller than it’s been in over 30 years. People are confident that the burdens of labor can be avoided. Under policy initiatives I have instituted they know that they will be fed, housed, clothed and entertained without having to endure the drudgery of toil. The proportion of the population receiving food stamps, welfare, and public housing has risen every year since I was elected. When am I going to get the proper recognition for that?”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2013/11/09/health-secretarys-big-announcement/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: assassin; obama; satire; welfare
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1 posted on 11/12/2013 8:13:10 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

What? He must have some great dope he smokin’.


2 posted on 11/12/2013 8:14:53 AM PST by Forward the Light Brigade (Into the Jaws of H*ll)
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To: John Semmens

Obama has done more TO America than any other president, except possibly for FDR.


3 posted on 11/12/2013 8:14:59 AM PST by Obadiah (I Like Ted.)
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To: John Semmens

4 posted on 11/12/2013 8:15:05 AM PST by Hotlanta Mike ("Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish - too much handling will spoil it." Lao Tzu)
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To: John Semmens

Chuck Todd, former staff member to Sen. Tom Harkin (D- Flaming Liberal).


5 posted on 11/12/2013 8:15:53 AM PST by Obadiah (I Like Ted.)
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To: John Semmens
Barely satire.
6 posted on 11/12/2013 8:16:24 AM PST by fwdude ( You cannot compromise with that which you must defeat.)
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To: John Semmens
“I have kept America safe by ordering the assassination of uncounted dangerous enemies,” he boasted.

What the hell is this phony liar talking about? He's America's most dangerous enemy. Oh, yes. He likes to play with his toy drones and rain death on non-Sunnis. He remains true to his evil Muslim faith.

7 posted on 11/12/2013 8:18:08 AM PST by IbJensen (Liberals are like Slinkies, good for nothing, but you smile as you push them down the stairs.)
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To: John Semmens
President Says He’s Done More for to America than Any of His Predecessors

There ... fixed it

8 posted on 11/12/2013 8:19:34 AM PST by clamper1797 (Evil WILL flourish when good men WILL not act)
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To: John Semmens

The end of the Iraq war was negotiated by Bush before he left office. In Afghanistan, he expanded the role of U.S. Forces, before he started the drawdown. This guy is not only delusional, he is probably the 2nd worst President of the last 100 years (I still have Jimmy Carter as the worst, but Obama still has time to pass him).


9 posted on 11/12/2013 8:21:51 AM PST by Old Retired Army Guy
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To: Forward the Light Brigade

He can really do more and have a nice cup of anthrax.


10 posted on 11/12/2013 8:24:27 AM PST by angcat
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To: John Semmens

I’ve read stories where the taking out of Hitler would have actually prolonged the war. In the beginning Hitler’s strategy was working but then later on it wasn’t. If Hitler was taken out then the generals who knew how to fight a war would have taken over. IMHO.


11 posted on 11/12/2013 8:26:03 AM PST by SkyDancer (Live your life in such a way that the Westboro church will want to picket your funeral.)
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To: John Semmens

That lili’ b*tch is a legend in his own mind.
We need another holiday . . .


12 posted on 11/12/2013 8:26:42 AM PST by ßuddaßudd (>> F U B O << "What the hell kind of country is this if I can only hate a man if he's white?")
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To: John Semmens

He has twice snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

Gosh, what a great man, for the other team.

News flash!

Own Goals don’t count toward your score.


13 posted on 11/12/2013 8:26:58 AM PST by donmeaker
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To: John Semmens

Replace the word “for” with the word “to” and ya got something.


14 posted on 11/12/2013 8:29:06 AM PST by V_TWIN
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To: John Semmens

Obama has done more harm to America than any other President. That is a fact and the truth.


15 posted on 11/12/2013 8:31:25 AM PST by mulligan
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To: John Semmens

That lili’ b*tch is a legend in his own mind.
We need another holiday . . .


16 posted on 11/12/2013 8:32:22 AM PST by ßuddaßudd (>> F U B O << "What the hell kind of country is this if I can only hate a man if he's white?")
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To: John Semmens

What is the definition of insane? Does it apply here?


17 posted on 11/12/2013 8:35:52 AM PST by Parmy
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To: Obadiah

Just saw a book title at my inlaws - “The New New Deal”.

This “New New Deal” is nothing other than communism.


18 posted on 11/12/2013 8:36:41 AM PST by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: V_TWIN

You really would think a private school and Ivy League alum would know his prepositions better than that, wouldn’t you?


19 posted on 11/12/2013 8:42:18 AM PST by RichInOC (Palin 2016: The Perfect Storm.)
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To: Parmy

What is the definition of insane? Does it apply here?


As I read this article...I am reminded of Captain Queeg’s rant while on the witness stand after the Caine mutiny....”Ah, the strawberries..that’s when I had them...”


20 posted on 11/12/2013 8:44:34 AM PST by AFret. ("Charlie don't surf ! ")
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