Legal Tragedy for Unemployed Divorced Men & Fathers

[Muabdib]

It took me awhile to read through all of the posts. The system is more than just messed up: it is irretreivably broken.

So what do you do?

In my case I got both custody and my divorce in my favor (initially) because my ex-wife ran with my son when I filed for divorce. It was 4 months after my default decree that the police found my son and he was returned to me (no penalties for my ex who ran, by the way.).

Then her (rich 5 mil +) parents got involved. Suddenly, my divorce was overturned, I lost custody, and spent 5 years fighting pro se. [Before I hear the inevitable crap about hiring an attorney: I tried. However, the mouthpiece her folks hired just happened to belong to the same firm that 5 out of 6 of the Superior Court Judges came out of. When they heard who her attorney was they either refused to take the case or wanted $10,000 up front to take it.]

This started in Dec. '93. It didn't end until '98 after an appeal to the State Supreme Court was refused. In '97, after the Superior Court decision, I went to pick up my son for my Court directed visitation (my ex had moved 2000 miles away) to just miss a process server (my flight was delayed) my ex had sent to serve me with papers to modify my visitation (my first one after final decree). An attempt to see my son resulted in an attempt to file charges against me for trespassing (fortunately, the Sheriff decided that the charges would represent a conflict of interest, since her attorney was also the county prosecutor.).

I gave her the lenght of time of the 8 weeks that was supposed to be be visitation with my son (as ordered by the court) to allow me visitation without restraint. Then I refused to return to my State of origin. I also refused to send her another dime. I used info available on the internet to change my identity and then moved nearby, so that I could continue to maintain contact with my son. Friends of mine around the country remailed letters for me so she couldn't find me.

My son never told her I was there. When he was old enough he elected to go live with my folks. I moved again. Now we're together.

I invite the State and Federal Court systems to commit biological impossibilities upon themselves, along with the women who abuse the system for their own gains. It cost my ex (her folks) over $65,000 to fight the case. It cost me about $5,000. They bought my son. I don't owe her jack. I still got to see my son, he's with me now. Sometimes you can win on your own.

Just do it.

[eresamore]

Hi Everyone,
I'm also one of the people that have gone thru a divorce with a small child. Many of the practices here in Florida are inhumane (child gets taken away from one of the parents). We as Fathers/Parents (for those few women that also get screwed) need to voice our concerns in a political way. We need to make a group of parents so big that is for the right of our children and of equal rights to both parties in a marriage. I Would Like to see for parents that lose their jobs and are paying Child Support or Alimony an Automatic Reduction in Paying Child Support or Alimony that is equal to what we are now earning. I don't care if we have to report every 2 weeks or every week weather or not we have a job and show how much it pays. Most like is less in most cases. I would also like for the courts to automatically give both parents 50 percent physical custody of their children to both parents and unless one of the parents is an unfit parent it should stay that way. In most cases both parent can take care of their kids with out any problem. This will benefit everyone. Specially the kids which many studies have shown. I tried to get 50 percent custody but the judges here and thru out the country (as I found out) always give preference to the mother even though is the child's best interest that both parents are part of their lives as much as possible. I spoke to my Ex about it and it first she agreed but, when she found out that she will not be getting any child support from me if that happen she said NO. Imagine that. I insisted that I would pay for half of her child care expenses plus keep her under my medical and life insurance but she refused. It seems more and more that many Moms are looking out to get the most money out of the deal and not looking out for what is best for our kids. We need to fight as hard as we can so that our children received the attention they deserved from both parents. Lets start a Parent club that is politically powerful so we can change the mind of many judges and those who don't we need to get rid of them by voting them out or those who controlled who gets to be a judge. I hope you all take to heart most Fathers and Mothers are good parents there is always a few bad apples in very bunch but for the most part we all want was best for our kids we just need to be reminded from time to time. This is the time for equal parenting rights and we need to show it to the world, it usually always starts here in USA the greatest country in the world so, lets Do it Again.