Another Paternity Fraud case.(30% of Paternity tests prove children fathered by other men.)

Philadelphia Inquirer ^ | 12/23/2002 | By Kathy Boccella

[marajade]

Why is it my mother's fault more? I blame both of them equally... My mother has at least apologized for what happened and my father never spoke to me after my mother finally had enough courage to leave his worthless butt.

[Between the Lines]

I have many married friends too. Some of them have said they would try to beat me up, if I ever tried to follow in their footsteps

No doubt, more of your successful friends.

[Post Toasties]

My last was to marajade, btw. I don't think denying equitable options to men who have not the least relationship to one's father, regardless of how deplorable his characteristics may be, does anything but create vastly greater societal wounds.

[JMJ333]

Then that is all the more reason why duped dads should be allowed to walk upon learning they'd been deceived. It gives mothers the incentive to stay in contact with the REAL fathers, and not to perpetrate a fraud for years. If mothers give a rip about anyone but themselves, then this legal reform will give them a chance to prove it.

In other words, punish the child for the mother's behavior. You care more about the man than the child, which is not surprising since we live in an age of "me me me."

If this happened to me (and I am female so this is a hypothetical) I would continue to love the child as if she were my own out of human decency and love of the innocent person I raised up to that point. Anything less is cruel to the child who has been blind-sided. I realize most would reject that, as it takes showing compassion to the helpless.

[marajade]

And I agree with that... it cuts both ways between being a faher and being a mother and the financial responsibility... But there's more to parentage than just money...

[Post Toasties]

Your mother apparently did the best thing in the end and I commend her for it, from what you describe. However, that does not relate to any of my other observations here.

[HEY4QDEMS]

My father was a jerk... if this had been law, my mother may have paid the price for it

I'm trying to understand you, but I must admit, I'm slightly confused.

Are you saying that your father should pay because he's a jerk and that you feel that there is a chance that he may not even be your biological father.

[Post Toasties]

No. The real father needs to assume the responsibility first, so the child is never left without support. But the mother has to be proactive to find him, if she cares a whit about her own children.

Fair's fair, and that's incomparably fairer that the dismal travesty the greedy feminist advocates want.

[marajade]

Read my earlier posts... there's more than just the money end of parenting...

[nina0113]

Once she realized that she could have his house, his money, his credit, AND NOT HIM, she went for it, and now he lives with his parents, and her boyfriend lives in the house he bought for her as a wedding present. I literally had to physically restrain him from killing her one day.

I didn't realize you knew my ex-friend Kye. There can't be more than one of those.

[BuddhaBoy]

That is just SHOCKING. Meanwhile, I guess the dumped husband nevertheless has to keep paying the mortgage payments on his ex's lovenest (which was formerly THEIR home).

You got it.

[marajade]

"However, that does not relate to any of my other observations here."

Sure it does... my mother always had suspicions that my father wasn't faithful... maybe she's right... I already had a father who while in the home wasn't really there... if he'd been found to have fathered another kid and ordered to pay support to another family, it would have been the legitimate child that was conceived in a legitimate marriage that would have paid the price, monetarily and otherwise...

[Post Toasties]

Sorry, it really just doesn't because your mother's children are all her own, right?

[JMJ333]

No. The real father needs to assume the responsibility first, so the child is never left without support. But the mother has to be proactive to find him, if she cares a whit about her own children.

Fair's fair, and that's incomparably fairer that the dismal travesty the greedy feminist advocates want.

Tell it to the child. I have no problem introducing the real father, as that is only right, but punishing the child to get back at the mother is wrong and immoral. Put yourself in the child's shoes and see how you'd feel. Then again, most don't give a damn about the kid...that's apparent.

[marajade]

I wanted to note that we agree... I know its rare, so I just thought it important to note it...

[BuddhaBoy]

While I am not really comfortable commenting on your personal situation; my premise is as follows:

Sex is ALWAYS the woman's decision.

Men may hope for sex, but women decide. Everyone knows this is true. Men dont turn down a sexual opportunity, unless she is a true skank.

Now, because of this, I believe that it is up to WOMEN alone to assess the quality of the men they choose to sleep with, or risk disaster.

I am all in favor of women who are raped having abortions, but for women who choose to have sex with exciting losers, they reaped what they sow in my opinion.

[JMJ333]

It must be the season. Merry Christmas to you, mj. :o)

[Post Toasties]

You now postulate a 'what if', but so what? I'd be disappointed if you are trying to turn this into something personal by making such a stretch.

[marajade]

Yes, they are... but if my father who was legally to my mother and our family had been court ordered to pay another woman for his philandering my mother would have suffered for it... Quite frankly, that alone would have been enough for me to call it quits but my father was a real jerk and it took my mother quite a few years to figure out that she'd be better off without him... and better off without him not just because he was employed...

[BuddhaBoy]

It happens all the time.