BIN LADEN BELIEVED DEAD

World Tribune | 10/15/02 | Tel Aviv

[Semper911]

Here is the link to confirmation that it is fiction:

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/north.htm

[Caribou]

The gate isn't fiction, I know for a fact but the other stuff - got to do some fact checking on those urban legend e-mails, you know.

[glock rocks]

wasn't ollie, it was nugent.

[b4its2late]

The sources said Al Qaida has already determined Bin Laden's heir.

They forgot to add..... who might just as well be dead too.

[Caribou]

Thanks for the link. Urban legends - got to love them (also have to really check them out before believing them).

[Caribou]

Thanks.

[HamiltonJay]

UBL has been dead for nearly a year, of that I am certain. The laughable attempts by Al Quaeda to give the appearance he is not would be comical if it wasn't for the sheer purpose of their existance. We all know they are held up in parts of Pakistan, and some are returning to Afghanistan. We all know there are cells in philipines and indonesia, but they are slowly and methodically being shredded to bits. The only way out for them is death, and they know it.

All I want to know is why haven't we bombed the base in indonesia we know about? I hope black ops are slaugtering these pigs as we speak in their jungle outposts, with or without indonesias approval. We gave them heads up on Bali attacks coming and the government just ignored it... if a nation will let this cancer fester, then send in the special ops, and let the diplomats deal with the fall out later.

[rs79bm]

It's mind boggling to think that these stories keep popping up. Let's remember a news flash from early December 2001, probably in this same forum. The title?

Well, the title was: Breaking: Bin Laden Believed Dead!

[Reborn]

Well......if U.S. AND Israeli intelligence are saying he's dead, then he's dead. I think that if he was really alive he'd want to prove it to rub it in our faces, etc.

[Mr_Magoo]

C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about
this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago
from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's
wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead,
that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and
I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird,
the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle
fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine
o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the
counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to
the floor.)

C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up!
Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough
of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I
purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its
total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged
out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?,
look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im
home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable
bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I
got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had
been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had
been NAILED there.

(pause)

O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that
bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em
apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four
million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more!
He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you
hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run
down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

[NautiNurse]

Hey, didn't we just run this story?"

I had forgotten that one! Must be Old Timer's Disease settling in. Those were some great times for SNL.

Here in the states, every morning the newspaper front page headlines tried to invent a new synonym for Franco's demise. The evening news would just lead off with a repeat of whatever the morning paper used that day, or vice versa.

[Freedom'sWorthIt]

Thank you for these facts. I remember Ollie's testimony but I don't remember the name OBL coming up or Algore's role in those hearings - but that does not mean they did not occur. And the info about Atta being freed after Clinton and Christopher insisted they be after Oslo - is totally new news. Could this possibly be confirmed by another source, please? I want to pass both of these factoids around.

[Freedom'sWorthIt]

Thank you for these facts. I remember Ollie's testimony but I don't remember the name OBL coming up or Algore's role in those hearings - but that does not mean they did not occur. And the info about Atta being freed after Clinton and Christopher insisted they be after Oslo - is totally new news. Could this possibly be confirmed by another source, please? I want to pass both of these factoids around.

[steveegg]

Nah, James Carville.

[hosepipe]

Ok....ONE MORE TIME......jeese

1. Binnie is as dead as someone's penis after looking at Janet Reno
2. As dead as Henry Waxmans chance for a date with Brittany Spears.
3.(teenage girl hands on hips)(patronizing look) BINNIE IS SOOOOO DEAD.
4. A wet spot between two rocks.

** Gone, expired, history, croked, with Allah, deceased.

[angkor]

if a nation will let this cancer fester, then send in the special ops, and let the diplomats deal with the fall out later.

Among its people, among other nations, and in the world, Indo is caught in the worst sort of social and political paralysis, caused by the uniquely insidious combination of Asian "face" and hysterical Muslim thinking.

As with all its other recent crises, Indo will look for the easy way out, a place to hide, a method to avoid blame. And the jihadists are coming right down their throats.

The only way out is a new Suharto, e.g., a new Balinese king. Megawati and her predecessor Wahid have been far too gentle with the jihadists, and the country is getting very close to a bloodbath.

I would not be surprised to see a military coup in Indo within a matter of months.

[johnb838]

Well according to Ollie everything about that email is true except the name of the terrorist. I think it is still an excellent cautionary tale. I don't think Col. North has ever totally recovered from the feeling of helplessness that comes from being stalked like that. And now they're doing it to Rev. Falwell

[WhiskeyPapa]

Here in the states, every morning the newspaper front page headlines tried to invent a new synonym for Franco's demise. The evening news would just lead off with a repeat of whatever the morning paper used that day, or vice versa.

I was stationed in Rota, Spain. I just happened to get back to the 'states right after he finally did pass. The Spanish were TOTALLY obsessed with his death struggle. Then after he died, they imposed a ban on music. That's right, no music for 30 days.

So that thing on SNL had me just rolling on the floor.

The other thing I remember coming back to the 'States and seeing for the first time -- a Wendy's hamburger.

Walt

[RightWhale]

They said the heir has not been identified, but is probably not Bin Laden's son, Saad.

He was announced as the new leader. But, anyway, it would be important to follow the money. Who has the key to the safety deposit box?

[johnb838]

I think Zawahiri has always been the most deadly snake in the brood. OBL was such an inspiration to his followers though, he will be hard to replace. Probably because he was tall and didn't seem to be too inbred.