Ludicrous Laws

KAPLAN ^ | September 13, 2002

[FreedominJesusChrist]

LOL.

[FreedominJesusChrist]

"I have a funny feeling that Fred Phelps is the reason for this law."

I remember that, didn't even know that Fred Phelps was still alive.

[FreedominJesusChrist]

You studied in Korea? I was born there.

[Paleo Conservative]

Correct, the likes of Bill Clinton wouldn't survive long if he was left to fend for himself.

Of course he is such a weasel, I can imagine him getting his second to duel instead.

[ladylib]

I think KY meets every other year.

[A.J.Armitage]

LAW: One must not drive a car while wearing a blindfold.

I should hope so!

LAW: It is illegal to stage a protest at someone's funeral.

The place it's in is near Fred Phelps. On LP, there was some discussion of him on a thread, and Jolly Rodgers said they indirectly get some tax money from big cities, which makes sense. The liberal urban politicians get a boogeyman to keep the gay vote riled up, and the Phelps people get to travel around making asses of themselves instead of having to work like honest Christians.

[A.J.Armitage]

I think I only saw one from Illinois.

In Zion, it's illegal to make funny faces at people. I've seen that in a few lists.

[enrg]

LOL!!!! Thanks. I needed a good laugh.

LAW: "Screech"-ing your tires can be punished by imprisonment.

If you think this is bad or strange, in Australia (Melbourne and Sydney) you can have your car permanently confiscated if you are caught two or three times (not sure which) "Screeching" your wheels from a standstill...

[enrg]

This was sent to me in an email. I found it very entertaining.

(Start email) These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word,taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q. The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q. Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. (end email)

[RipSawyer]

The reason so many of these laws against stupid behaviour are written in the South is that down South here we are really stupid, most of us didn't have brains enough to vote for Clinton or Gore. We would never have been smart enough to elect Hillary as a senator in any southern state. Heck, some of us are so stupid we don't even think Ted Kennedy and Barney Frank are great leaders. Yep, I have lived in the South all my life but I have to admit we are really dumb as fence posts down here.

[RipSawyer]

I suspect if the man had lived in earlier times he might have controlled his mouth more. He lacks the physical courage to back up his statements with action.

[alfa6]

I had much the same thought as well.

And now onto a law that at one time was on the books in the great state of Kansas. While in a class in college on criminal law the instructor handed out a mimieographed(sp) copy of an assortment of laws such as above. The one that I still recall some 30 years later went some thing like this.

"When two trains come to a crossing, both shall stop and neither shall start untill the other has gone"
Shoot for all I know it could still be on the books.

Regards

alfa6 ;>}

[pocat]

Yep - Y'all are pretty durn stoopid down there : )

[Poohbah]

So you elected Clinton for governor 3 times, Gore for Senator God-knows-how-many-times, and Bobby Byrd has been (KKK-D-WVA) for how long now?

[BlazingArizona]

Weird-looking laws were almost always passed to counteract some specific fad or emergency. Here in Phoenix, it became illegal about 10 years ago to drive more than three times around a circular street in the same two-hour period. The ordinance was passed to response to teenage 'cruising' at one specific shopping mall.

[RipSawyer]

I said we were dumb as fence posts but wake up to the fact that much of the rest of the country is even dumber. I have yet to meet a redneck laborer with a fourth grade education who could be convinced that feces is "art". I suspect that most of those elections you mentioned had more to do with fraud and curruption than intelligence and one thing we do have in quantity in the southland is fraud and corruption.

[Cable225]

COUNTRY: USA / STATE: Tennessee / CITY: Nashville
CITATION:
ACTUAL: A person operating a scooter, in-line skates or roller skates shall not attach the same or himself to any moving vehicle upon the roadway.

Clearly, this is the Marty McFly ordinance.

[kcar]

"Ben, the two of us need look no more...We, both found what we were looking for..."

To think, Michael Jackson was actually violating the law somewhere singing this love-song to a rat. Hopefully this affection was unrequited.

[BluesDuke]

Whenever the state legislature is in session, we are in trouble. Perhaps state legislatures could meet once every two or three years, instead of in most cases, every year. I would also like to propose that state legislators purge laws from their books that are just silly, redundant, unconstitutional, or irrelevant -- say every other year.

I shall see and raise your proposal. The federal government should meet only once every two years, and they should be made to purge laws from the federal books that are unconstitutional, silly, redundant, and irrelevant. Then, there should be one new law passed which reads, RESOLVED: No law passed by the Congress and signed by the President shall be deemed operative and binding until and unless each member of Congress and the President can prove that they have read it in its entirety at least once.. This should also be applied to state legislatures and governors; city councils and mayors; county legislatures and county executives; and, any level of government I might have omitted...

[BluesDuke]

Seattle is a wacky town.

Now, how bad can any town be which is now the home port for Ichiro Suzuki playing baseball?