Posted on 08/27/2002 1:29:51 PM PDT by Shermy
LOL! The article says he was married, so that rules out the usual suspect here.
He's still out there (I'm guessing in some alley in a third world country) looking for livers.
Not to mention the spelling.
--Boris
Fifty Ways to Love Your Liver
by Jeffrey B. Moran1 (with apologies to Paul Simon)
This organ's not inside your head, she said to me.
It's in the abdomen, anatomically.
I'd like to help you understand hepatically,
There must be fifty ways to love your liver.
She said, it's really not where food that has been chewed
Is digested into tiny molecules.
But it makes bile which into the gut is spewed.
There must be fifty ways to love your liver.
Chorus:
Just lay off the smack, Jack.
Eat some more bran, Stan.
Make the right choice, Royce,
Just listen to me.
Cut out the brew, Sue.
Don't want to be yellow, fellow.
Eat your protein, Gene,
And let your liver be.
She said, hepatitis pains your liver so,
It usually comes from viruses, you know,
In contaminated food and used hypos.
There must be fifty ways to love your liver.
She said, remember how cirrhosis makes you bawl.
It comes from drinking too much alcohol.
And I realized that though she had a lot of gall,
There must be fifty ways to love your liver.
Chorus: as before
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(for you physical scientists out there)
Fifty Ways to Love Your Lever
(for you physical scientists out there)
Fifty Ways to Love Your Lever
by Jeffrey B. Moran1 (with apologies to Paul Simon)
It's not a vision in your head, she said to me.
But a machine when you've work to do simply.
I'd like to help you understand mechanically,
There must be fifty ways to love your lever.
She said, it's got a fulcrum or a pivot point, you know,
Relative to the points of effort and of load.
And what is lost in force is gained in motion, so
There must be fifty ways to love your lever.
Chorus:
Just slip out the jack, Mack.
Use a pry bar, Carl.
Those pliers employ, Roy.
Just listen to me.
Work that pump, Gump.
Fill a wheel barrow, Cheryl.
Magnify the force, Doris,
And let your lever be.
She said, there's three kinds of levers you can use,
When you've heavy weights to lift or motion to infuse.
And I realized that though she was missing a few screws,
There must be fifty ways to love your lever.
In some, the fulcrum's in between the effort and the load.
Or at one end as in the nutcracker you hold.
In others, the effort's in the middle mode.
There must be fifty ways to love your lever.
Chorus: as before
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