Elliot attended Sunday School at this church, intermittently. He stole a number of things and once cracked a choir members skull with a collection plate that he was employing as a Frisbee. Personally I hadn't seen him for eighteen years, although I read about him frequently in the newspapers. Believe me, I was appalled. I understand that he was good to his parents insofar as he did not publically announce their identities and place of residence and thus drag their names through the mud with his own. It would be un-Christian for me to say that I'm glad young Elliot is dead. I won't go that far. But it is beyond me purpose he served alive. It's God's problem now. Let's get him out of here and into a cemetery as fast as we can.
P.J. O'Rourke
Modern Manners, Chapter 18, The Hip Funeral