The Makeover: CAN JOHN KERRY MAKE PEOPLE LIKE HIM? ("I Am NOT A Shmuck!")

The New Republic ^ | June 3, 2002 | Michael Crowley

[PJ-Comix]

John Kerry (aka JFK) has big problems if even a liberal publication like The New Republic portrays him as an arrogant shmuck as this article does.

[ROCKLOBSTER]

his six-foot-five-inch frame easily located by the head of thick salt-and-pepper hair that floats above the throng

Salt-and-pepper RUG!

MY wife first pointed it out. She said "There's enough hair there to make an Afghan Hound," and "Who ever heard of greying on the top and black around the temples?"

He's also got one of those phony parts there you can't see the scalp.

He's phony to the bone.

[PJ-Comix]

At times he may be a little too self-aware. Like when Kerry wound up on a Capitol elevator with Senator Wayne Allard, a Republican from Colorado. The two men are hardly close friends, but when Allard stepped onto the elevator with another man (who turned out to be Allard's brother), Kerry was quick to whip up some banter. "How are ya, Wayne?" he asked, inquiring about Allard's reelection campaign and generally revving into high-bonhomie gear. When Allard introduced his brother, an accountant, Kerry was fast with a one-liner: "Not for Arthur Andersen, I hope!" As the men stepped off the elevator and headed down a hallway, Kerry walked between them, his long arms stretched across their backs, wisecracking all the way. After the men went their separate ways, Kerry looked pleased. "That," he said with a proud grin, "was an example of my 'aloofness.'"

This bit really cracked me up since it so so obvious that Mr. Phony wants to be portrayed as "one of the Boys" now that he is trying to run for office. I particularly got a chuckle from this because Kerry was just like a goody-two shoes aloof guy named George that I knew in High School. Through most of High School, this jerk felt like he was too good for us and even gave us self-righteous lectures about us having "dirty mouths." Then one day George made a big show of sitting at the cafeteria table with us and trying to make small talk in a very painful way that was completely out of character for him. When George left one of the guys at the table wondered why the sudden character change in George. "He must be running for something," I replied. I was right. Shortly afterwards, George ran for school president (fortunately he lost).

[PJ-Comix]

Oops! I must be getting a bit like John F. Kerry. I just made a reply to myself.

I AM NOT A SHMUCK!!! (I hope.)

[berned]

Verrrrrrrrrry few men have that full a head of hair at his age. Everybody loses SOME fullness. I agree that it's suspect. Matter of fact, Verrrrrrry few 12 year-old boys have THAT thick a head of hair.

C'mon wind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[linn37]

he'll look like a bean pole and talk like an a-hole and won't win the nomination,thats my prediction and I'm sticking to it.

[Fish out of Water]

*Index Bump

[PJ-Comix]

Verrrrrrrrrry few men have that full a head of hair at his age. Everybody loses SOME fullness. I agree that it's suspect. Matter of fact, Verrrrrrry few 12 year-old boys have THAT thick a head of hair.

Have secret campaign payments been made to Sy Sperling?

[PJ-Comix]

The very fact that Kerry is so obviously running for president is, to some, a perfect illustration of the character flaws that make it impossible for him to become president: a degree of personal manifest destiny and self-love rare even among politicians. Indeed, his biography suggests an almost lifelong grooming for power.

At least he'll be able to bond well with Al Gore.

[hinckley buzzard]

To me he sounds like Algore II , more than jfk, billyboy or mccain. Gotta keep rolling out new models in the vain hope one of them will fool the people.

[JessicaDragonet]

I always thought that Kerry looked like Officer Francis Muldoon...played by Fred Gwynne in "Car 54 Where Are You?".

[BigWaveBetty]

Don't call it a repackaging, his advisers say--they're just revealing the inner John.

My word these idiots haven't got a clue. A person is in politics for all those years and finally now the inner john is revealed?

Nevermind that "inner John" sounds like a special secluded room at dirty interstate toilet stop.

[Friedrich Hayek]

For, in a sense, Kerry is the anti-Edwards. Where Edwards has become the darling of the national media, Kerry can't seem to catch a break.

This line is actually the only interesting thing in the whole column. The media is admitting that it makes these generic, cookie-cutter Democrats into "darlings" by lavishing them with praise and media-attention. ("Oh, look, John Edwards is really from So. Carolina! How exciting!")

Imagine the media making a darling out of any Republican, like Dubya or Bob Dole. It never happens.

[ninonitti]

I believe that there have been rumors about Kerry having some bimbo moments of his own over the years.

This business about him having an extensive fundraising operation maybe true but the fact is that Mr. Theresa Heinz could have his wife write a check for the campaign.

Afterall didn't she get city hall to move a fire hydrant around the corner so she could park in front of her Beacon Hill townhouse.

[summer]

I believe that there have been rumors about Kerry having some bimbo moments of his own over the years.

I was lurking at a Dem site not long ago, and someone posted a thread concerning the current "problem" with Kerry: he allegedly can't keep his hands off certain 'married women,' according to the posters discussing whatever reports they had read or heard. More than one poster knew about it. They think he's unelectable because of this problem, which they are sure will come out. I do not know if what they posted is true, but, I did read it there, and I am not the one who posted it!

[sharkdiver]

This is the "War Hero" that introduces his boatmate and vividly recalls blasting around the river in a PT boat while the blasting twin 50-cal machine guns and getting riddled by auto weapons fire. This is the same John Kerry who can't recall a mission with Navy Seals that he was in command of that got into a fire fight that kiloled over a dozen women and children. He was awarded the Bronze Star for this mission. This is the same "War Hero" who forgets killing woman and children. What else will his conveniently forget as he runs for President.

[c-b 1]

Does this arrogant Limousine Liberal actually think he can sell his Gun Grabbing Socialism to those outside of Taxachussets?

[patriciaruth]

The most fun coming up to 2004 will be watching the Demoncrats jockying for the best position to back stab each other.

Gore's unseen hand and Hillary's unseen hand will drive most of the editorial decisions to run articles like this.

[patriciaruth]

Does this arrogant Limousine Liberal actually think he can sell his Gun Grabbing Socialism to those outside of Taxachussets?

As we get closer to 2004, the question will be whether President Bush's poll numbers will drive off all but the most arrogant Democrat politicians as rivals for the Democrat nomination. Kerry is in this for the long haul. He has the arrogance and the money to stay the course. And those two factors alone may make him the guy to beat in 2004.