Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra or you socks. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!)
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, sexier, and better looking than most people.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.