Creators Admit Unix and C++ a Hoax

Some computer guys with too much free time (Humor) | 1996 | J.M.O.

[Dakmar]

Let me clarify - P( char * ) returns, don't it?

Returns a character pointer, I meant. Ok, I am mildy idiotic, ok?

[Lessismore]

In fact, Unix would not have gone anywhere, had not the managers of Bell Labs Research convinced Bell Labs management to require the use of Unix for all standard development on DEC minicomputers, to the great consternation of all developers who had to write working systems to operate and maintain the former Bell System.

[tortoise]

You know in the movie "Independence Day" there was always the question how they could come up with a computer virus that would interface with and unknown alien operating system.

That and the fact that they were using an Apple computer, which won't even interface with an ordinary human PC, nevermind alien technology...

:-)

[Dakmar]

P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))

Would return the address of text constant "_" (assuming that's what P() returns (a dangerous proposal) offset by whatever 'u' / 8 mod 2 would produce. Like i said, nonsense.

[parsifal]

Those interested in filing a CLASS ACTION against the hoaxers please contact me. I will prepare the complaint, etc., but I need someone to help me grep, grok, and grope where appropriate. parsy.

[peabers]

(copyright jmo 1991/1996)

I first read this in 1994. It's still just as funny.

[VetoBill]

Mastering any programming language takes it toll on everybody.

I remember a time back in college when I was working with Turbo C++. I would usually give my filenames, um interesting/creative names usually based upon how big of a pain in the @ss the program was to code.

All was well until one day I printed off a program to hand in. A few days later the program was returned with an A and a strange circle at the top of the paper. I looked and saw the circle enclosed the name 'upyours.cpp' I realized I had forgot to disable Header/Page Number option. I had managed to include the name of the file on the top of each page of the code.

Good thing the instructor had a sense of humor!

[TechJunkYard]

I'm with you. Interpreted languages eliminate that nasty "compile" step between "code" and "test"... ;-)

[gcraig]

Ken Thompson, Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan did not create C++, so the title of this article is incorrect. Those dudes wrote C. Thanks to Bjarn Stroustrup we have C++, and some of the most intense programming moments of my life in that language. It really doesn't surprise me that these guys would say this.

[Don Joe]

"I mean come on you don't think 'grep' is a human command do you?"

Well, not in the apparently-singular form, but append an "s" and it's inevitable after a beer.

[Don Joe]

You've forgotten the missing link.

[PatrioticAmerican]

#34 must have been hard for you to type! LOL! I cracked up reading it!

[TheOracle]

Unix story:

whereis biff? crypt at source. biff cut yacc tail, yacc cut biff finger.

"awk!," sed biff. "ar, ar!" sed yacc.

ksh, bash! man cut head, kill yacc at last, make strings.

exit crypt, find mail from su. od. "date? yes."

bif find su nice. make time, date. find su at wall. tee, talk.

ed: "tip: find jobs, biff."

"yes, make tar," sed biff.

su, biff date more: touch, strip, sleep.

"su, inetd perl," sed biff.

"yes!" sed su.