Posted on 11/19/2001 2:40:14 PM PST by RobertBauman
The following is a *true* story. It amused the hell out of me while it
was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be there" things.
On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I
need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is
a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person.
I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to
worry about people getting pissed at me.
ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
IT: "Is that it?"
ME: "Yep."
IT: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
ME: "No, it's *to* *go*." [I hate effort duplication.]
At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it
kind of funny and
IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The
following conversation occurs between the two of them.
IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
MG: "No. A what?"
IT: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
MG: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL." [my emp]
IT: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says
IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
IT: "I don't know."
ME: "See here where it says legal tender?"
IT: "Yeah."
ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
IT: "Well, hang on a sec."
He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to
shoplift, and
IT: "He says I have to take it."
MG: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
IT: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
MG: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE." [my emp]
IT: "What should I do?"
MG: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
IT: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
MG: "Just tell him."
IT: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."
The manager approaches me and says
MG: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [it was 8pm and
this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100
other stores.]
ME: "Well, here's a two."
MG: "We don't take *those* either."
ME: "Why the hell not?"
MG: "I think you *know* why."
ME: "No really, tell me, why?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "Excuse me?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "What the hell for?"
MG: "Please, sir."
ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
MG: "Would you please just leave?"
ME: "No."
MG: "Fine, have it your way then."
ME: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone
around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area,
and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this
45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a
whisper]
SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
MG: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
SG: "Really? What?"
MG: "Get this, a *two* dollar bill."
SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
MG: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is
a fifty."
SG: "So, the fifty's fake?"
MG: "NO, the $2 is."
SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
MG: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
SG: "Yeah..."
Security guard walks over to me and says
SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
ME: "Uh, no."
SG: "Lemme see 'em."
ME: "Why?"
SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so
I said
ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a
swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands,
and says
SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
MG: "It's fake."
SG: "It doesn't look fake to me."
MG: "But it's a **$2** bill."
SG: "Yeah?"
MG: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it
dawned on the guy that he had no clue.
My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon
things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see
what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of
people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.
You think two dollar bills are
not legitimate currency? Heh.
How embarrassing.
That is a great idea. We could contact the SA and tell them we will buy x number of queer 3 dollar bills at face value. I think I will contact the SA and put in an order for about 10 of them. If the SA would put out an ad for them for sale, it would be great huh?
Like being on a thread about homosexuality and having the name "gcruse".
Changing the subject, now that you know you
are wrong? Cheesy.
Also, if anyone is involved in law enforcement, isn't what these people are doing illegal? Their counterfeit money has some aspects very close to real currency and I believe the FBI is very strict on that.Well, the FBI isn't involved in counterfeiting. That's the mission of the Secret Service.
Though I'd like to see them stop, I'd bet that a court would find their "queer dollars" to be protected free speech or free press.
They might be able to get them as "raised currency" since they are taking elements from a one dollar bill and putting three dollar markings on the corners. There's two problems with that. First, the aren't raising it to a valid denomination, so it might not be considered counterfeiting. Second, they could change the "ONE DOLLAR" marking at the bottom of the bill to "THREE DOLLARS" and change the picture to someone else (Bush?) and the wouldn't be counterfeiting anything.
If you want to pursue it, you could contact the United States Secret Service. They have a field office in Cleveland. The phone number is 216-706-4365. The address is 6100 Rokside Woods Blvd, Cleveland, OH 44131-2334. Good luck.
For the record, I have owned two dollar bills myself, yet didn't spend them because they are collector's items THAT YOU DO NOT SEE EVERY DAY, making them a oddity.
I'm sure you heard it plenty of times. So much so that you thought it was your name.
More like the worm under the grass root.
Actually, ever since the USA went off the gold standard, that's all the American people have been using is queer dollars.
Isn't Thomas Jefferson on the $2 bill-and wasn't he more of a limited gov't man than most presidents ?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
