Smack talk to get out of jury duty lands man in jail cell or How a Liberal Becomes a Conservative

Omaha World Herald ^ | Oct. 10, 2014 | Todd Cooper

[dead]

The only people serving on juries are those who are too stupid to figure out how to get out of doing jury duty.

Ouch! I didn't want to get out of jury duty, I wanted to get out of the office!

[SparkyBass]

My way out (true story):

SparkyBass, what do you do for a living?

I'm an engineer

Do you think you can determine what is beyond reasonable doubt?

Absolutely!

What would constitute an unreasonable doubt?

Well, if the defense said Elvis flew down in his spaceship and made the defendant commit the crime, I think that would be considered unreasonable.

Jurors and audience laughed. Judge looked like he could poop a brick. Prosecution said "we'll keep him!", defense let me go home.

The guy before me argued "if they are arrested they MUST be guilty!" Judge argued with him for 20 minutes then sent him BACK to the jury pool to be picked for another trial.

[wrench]

“slavery still exists”

Just got back from the middle east?

[IronJack]

Apparently you missed the part where I emphasized that I wasn’t talking about the moral rectitude of the draft. I’m looking at it from strictly a logical, legal point of view.

But you can’t rise above your prejudices long enough to examine the objective framework of the argument.

I repeat: the Constitution does NOT compel military service IN ANY FORM. If you can city the article where it does, I will withdraw my statement.

Involuntary servitude IS slavery. That’s my point exactly! A draft meets the legal definition of involuntary servitude, which means a draft violates Amendment 13. Yet the courts, through some contorted “logic,” have ruled that it doesn’t.

This isn’t about whether I believe in a draft or not. It’s about the obligation of a super-judiciary body to base its rulings on logic and principle rather than political convenience.

[aomagrat]

The first time I was called for jury duty I showed up in a Molly Hatchet t-shirt and a two day growth of beard.

The movie “My Cousin Vinny” brought back a lot of memories.

[wrench]

I heard all that wacked out leftist drivel in the 60s. At least get a new song, yours is worn out.

Do a little research on “Militia”. It is most definitely mentioned in the Constitution.

It was a sociatal norm at the time, and the founders felt no more compelled to spell it out than define water as being wet.

[kiryandil]

Is this FreeRepublic or MSNBC? Get a real job, hippie.

Sounds like somebody drank the phony Law & Order Kool-Aid.

I slung OSB all day. What did you do?

[IronJack]

So in your stunted little brain, "militia" equals "draft?" Are there any other English words in the Constitution that mean something totally different than their denotation? Enlighten us poor fools who believe that words mean what they say.

If there's anything worn out, it's your ability to reason critically. Or to even present a cogent argument.

But since you've missed the point entirely, there's probably not much sense in continuing this "discussion." Read a book sometime. Expand your mind. Before it atrophies completely.

[CodeToad]

I’m a rich white guy with an education and a profession...fat chance I’d ever serve on a jury again.

[Polynikes]

I sat in jury pool once during voire dire. An older rather distinguished gentleman was called up to be questioned it went something like this. The names have been changed to protect the innocent

Lawyer: State Your name please

Juror: Raymond Perkins

Lawyer: Where do you work

Juror: At the law firm of Perkins,Abbot & Smith

Lawyer How long have you worked there

Juror:Since I help found it, about 35 years ago

At this point the lawyer was oblivious to what was happening. He continued with a few more inane questions at which point the juror started questioning him.

He was asked where he learned to examine a prospective juror, How many time did it take to pass the bar exam, and if he knew what he was doing. It was hilarious. Of course the gentleman was dismissed.

[wrench]

Militia is compulsory military service to provide for the defense of the country.

Sure sounds like a drafted army.

So sorry, but this country doesn’t exist just to provide an Aldus Huxley world for leftists, there are responsibilities to maintain it. So it takes a little work, it is not without full pay and benefits, and training . If residents do not want to give back, there are plenty of other places to go. Now would be a great time for these deadwoods to vamoose.

Canada welcomed our shirkers last time, eh?

[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

ROFL

[laotzu]

What did you do?

I make Marines.

Sounds like somebody enjoys being raped by Rosie O'Donnel.

[kiryandil]

Sounds like somebody enjoys being raped by Rosie O'Donnel.

Hey, whatever you're into...

[CodeToad]

“I just don’t understand how anyone can refuse to do their civic duty when called upon.”

Our courts are abused to the point that it not a civic duty to entertain these bogus lawsuits.

[CodeToad]

“Unless specifically exempted, ALL able bodied men were in the militia.”

Actually, the constitution doesn’t specify who is in the militia. It just says the States may appoint officers and the president can call upon them. It doesn’t lay claim that all abled body men were in the militia. In fact, laws were passed to try state who may be in the militia and those laws determined that by age.

[PapaBear3625]

My employer continues to pay my salary if I'm on jury duty, so i don't care. In my jurisdiction, they send you a questionnaire when you're summoned. If you reply on the section "would serving on a jury cause undue hardship?" that you will not get paid if on jury, they will excuse you.

The judge was a jerk.

[PapaBear3625]

I've always wondered what would happen if I said "That guy sure looks guilty!" (pointing at the judge).

probably nothing good would happen.