Posted on 03/06/2009 6:42:56 PM PST by Kaslin
Now, States are enacting primary enforcement seat belt laws so as to take advantage of federal dollars...at what point do we demand that our “leaders” expunge the word “freedom” from our state and federal Constitutions?
Bump!
NICE — you know Orwell would’ve gotten a sardonic chuckle out of that.
“They deserve to be treated with dignity and not shoved aside as expendables to be sacrificed in deference to a sacred totem of the political left.”
Yes but that is not stopping them. They don’t care. The Democrats in Congress are the enemy of all Americans.
Access to a waiting list is not the same as access to health care.
What are we going to do when people start dying from socialized healthcare? Do we have to wait until the number of graves wakes the country up?
Coming to a country near you, sooner than you think. :-(
>NICE — you know Orwell would’ve gotten a sardonic chuckle out of that.
Or our own “Department of Justice”.
The Brits have always been the silliest people on the planet. John Cleese made much of this......
To the citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent
candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we
hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective
immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary.
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise’.
Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell- checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of -ize.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.
12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don’t try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God save the Queen.
Isn’t that great?!! NIH will paid for the abortions that caused the breast cancer but not the drugs to cure the breast cancers?
Now you just wait now Dorthy. Your state legislators are like the magic ruby red slippers, all you have to do is click your heals three times and you'll be off to a magical world of Zero. If you ever lose your way the magical good witch will sprinkle fairy dust on you and tell you to make a wish like perhaps a state bill that magically declares your sovereignty from the evil federal government, so you won't riot and take back what is actually yours, like your individual rights. Then you will soon wake up from your dream and realize liberty is nothing more than a nasty bump on your head.
Thank you, I fell much better now.
Didn’t we fight a war so we wouldn’t have to listen to them? ;-)
But is the system where half the time when you come down with something the insurance company claims its a preexisting condition or its not covered any better. Waiting times aren’t that bad here in Canada (I live here in Ontario)....yes if it isn’t life threatening you’re probably going to wait a tad longer than the US, but my mom with leukemia has not has long waiting times, she’s been very quick with all her tests. Plus there aren’t any deductibles on things like doctors visits, we pay it all in taxes, which isn’t adding more cost, just changing costs from insurance companies to a government health care system, which since it is covering the largest group of people (as insurance companies always say (and its true) the more people you have the cheaper it is) it is the cheaper way of doing things.
Also one of the main reasons for our increase in waiting time, is that we have a lot more open countryside than you do...if you go past thunder bay in Ontario and start heading north its going to be a long time before you come to any really well populated city
The only benefit of socialized medicine....
.. A ten month waiting list for abortions..
ping
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.