Free Republic still number one conservative site! 2nd qtr '08 FReepathon, thread 5!!

Click here to pledge your support ^ | 4/19/2008 | Jim Robinson

[Deetes]

Come on Freepers !!!!!!!!!! Get this thing done !!!!

[Lady Jag]

I applied for a job there but there’s already a long waiting list. LOL

[Lady Jag]

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his  wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said”no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again  "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

 

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

 

 

(True Story) I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people!!

 

[Lady Jag]

Subject: History Lesson 10

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the  winter. 

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern  civilization and  together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct  subgroups:

1. Liberals 
2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning  of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were  invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement .

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest  became known as girliemen. 

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of  cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of  Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that  conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are  symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like  their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard  liberal fare. 

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. 

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.   A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to irritate them.





 

[Lady Jag]

You Know Your States

You got 7/10 correct.

You've got a pretty good handle on US geography.
There's a good chance you've visited at least a dozen of the fifty states.

How Well Do You Know Your States?

[roamer]

 

Hi Lady Jag!

[roamer]

 

[roamer]

I’m going out — I’ll stop by another time...

[Deetes]

LOL !!!

[Fiddlstix]

The Waterfall by M. C. Escher

Click The Pic For More Info

[Lady Jag]

Hi, Roamer!

[Lady Jag]

DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO FREE REPUBLIC!


clickit!

[Lady Jag]

[don-o]

You Know Your States

You got 8/10 correct.

You've got a pretty good handle on US geography.
There's a good chance you've visited at least a dozen of the fifty states.

How Well Do You Know Your States?

And I have visited more than a dozen. See my profile for proof.

[Lady Jag]

Me too, I’ve seen more than 2 dozen states and should have done much better.

[don-o]

I think I missed New Hampshire and which state is farthest west

[Fiddlstix]

You Know Your States

You got 10/10 correct.

You've got a pretty good handle on US geography.
There's a good chance you've visited at least a dozen of the fifty states.

How Well Do You Know Your States?

LOL. I had to scroll back up just to double check. At first I couldn't believe it. All the correct answers are the first choice on the list.
I couldn't believe that one.
lol
Talk about easy. Too easy.

[Lady Jag]

I missed 3 and forget already which ones. I was ticked off at myself for having such a hard time. Every Freepathon I post state thankyous often with state shapes in them; I should have known better.

[Lady Jag]

Braggart.

[Jim Robinson]

Woo hoo!!

We have incoming:

$100 from Florida
$10 from California
$50 from Never Never Land
$20 from California
$10 from California
$90 from Tennessee
$20 from Pennsylvania
$10 from Minnesota
$20 from Indiana
$10 from Oklahoma
$100 from North Carolina
$100 from Georgia
$10 from Never Never Land
$50 from Louisiana
$10 from Alabama
$3 from Never Never Land
$20 from Minnesota

Thank you all very much!!

Woo hoo!! Over 81%!! Less than 19% to go!!