Posted on 09/23/2007 7:43:27 PM PDT by Graybeard58
Not to mention being an aid I’m assuming for special ed children if you can’t handle that responsibility. I’m the mother of an autistic child and it is painfully obvious that a number of individuals here know nothing about the disorder and have chosen to take their GENERAL frustration of violence in schools and PROJECT into a situation completely unrelated to the general school violence issue.
BTW, if the child at 6 can acknowledge that he hit his teacher, he is likely Asperger’s—the verbal high functioning form of autism. I bet most here didn’t even know that much to pull that out of the brief story. Another little tidbit, autistic children usually show frustration because of their lack of verbal skills and being unable to communicate their needs or desires to other people. They aren’t stupid or retarded in most cases and their frustration can be helped with things like Dynavox and other augmentative communication devices that speak for them with their input. I wonder if the teacher is pro-active enough to consider PECS or a Dynavox machine or has the skill to help an autistic child deal and navigate the frustrations in school.
I’m sure many here don’t understand either that most states will NOT help parents with autistic children unless they are ‘poor’. Insurance won’t pay for private school tuition for these children(and their are schools with LONG waiting lists that accomodate such children) and states like Ohio that offer an ‘autism scholarship’ as well as Medicaid waivers based on disability only are rare.
I’m sure this ‘teacher’ will survive. I feel for the parents. Most individuals can’t imagine what it is like to live with autism everyday. The callous statements made here really highlight why so many parents end up self-isolated or relegated to only dealing with other parents dealing with this. I started to let this happen to us and I roundly rejected it at some point. My child NEEDS to be around other people and I have 2 other typical children who need a normal existence too.
What I find shameful when conservative sites start in with this kind of thing is that they often forget how poorly this situates itself next to a pro-life view. If one is pro-life, then I would think one is also far more understanding of human conditions and frailities like autism and down’s syndrome. Folks, you can’t have one way or the other. If you are all for saving disabled children from the abortionist’s vacuum, then you have accepted these children with all their difficulties will live among the rest of us in society.
BTW, this poor excuse for a school makes me so thankful I am where I am. My son’s teachers adore him and actually were pensive at the idea of him leaving for an ‘autistic school’. They know what to expect from him most of the time and they help him navigate frustration and they too are skilled in how to deal with autistic behaviors and how to anticipate frustrations. Odd it would seem how people EQUIPPED to deal with this situation can somehow manage NOT to end up with a 6 year old so frustrated he lashes out.
PSS My son when he was 4 scratched his preschool teacher when he was frustrated(the worst thing he ever did). He recently attended her wedding that she invited him too. Amazing she didn’t charge him with assault for the scratches. *rolls eyes*
Do I give the young man a pass—not entirely, but I do think those that spoke initially in this thread have done so from such an extreme position that another side needed to be presented. I’m sure i’m not the first given the posts on this thread, but I really wanted to put some personal experience into this as someone who deals with autism everyday.
Rubbish...some autistic children do well with a mixture of services at school, particularly ones who have learned to function with typical children and all the frustrations that entail by virtue of having siblings. The problem is some schools have a ‘one size fits all’ attitude, the same complaint homeschoolers have about the school systems in general.
Not necessarily..other children do not place the demands on a child that would be frustrating to an autistic child. Even with sibling rivalry in my home and a son wedged between an older sister and a younger, preschool aged brother, he does not lash out them physically, nor has he towards other children. His frustration comes from adults because we make demands at him that are difficult for him and he does not have the emotional maturity and definitely the verbal resources to deal with those things effectively. Avoiding the frustration or dealing with it takes augmentative means to communicate. That said, I have not been assaulted by my child. He’s tried to hit dad—dad deals with him immediately. He is learning, though painfully slow compared to other children, that hitting is not a tool in his arsenal—again the challenge with autistic children is letting htem know they can use it to defend themselves but not to lash out. These fine line things are difficult for them—they see things in very concrete terms—it is either yes or no-—finessing that is time exacting and fraught with much frustration.
BTW, I am not formally trained, but I volunteered many times in my son’s preschool—an age that is probably one of the harder times for an autistic child next to the teen years. I was never once assaulted, pinched, hit, etc...I knew what to expect and I knew why they had the frustrations they do. While the child does need to be shown proper ways to deal with his frustration in a way he can understand, that teacher had no business being around children with special needs. I’m not saying that to disparage her, but I firmly believe that not everyone is cut out to deal with children with special needs. She seems like one of them and in some ways I can understand her frustration if she did not ever entertain the idea of dealing with children like this. Perhaps she should have taken her concerns to the school board years ago, but something tells me she probably got a nicely extra yearly stipend for dealing with special needs kids and tolerated it even though she knew she could not handle it.
Exactly...that is the crux of it. There are things that come with dealing with a child with special needs whether it is cerebral palsy or autism. This should serve as a lesson for that school system. The child may need some alternative services(which they are required by law to provide) and that teacher should not be handling special needs children.
You are right. Many here do not understand autism. Neither did I when God saw fit to entrust me with the care of someone so needy. I admit, much to my shame, to trying to parent him like a normal child. Doesn’t work. People with normal children will never understand this. They just can not comprehend it not living with autism everyday. Sorry folks, but this is definitely one of those things that has a learning curve and you have to experience it to understand. I get your criticism though—I would have thought that way too before I had to deal with it myself. One blessing of autism or any disability is that while it hardens you in some ways, it makes you softer in others. I consider myself far more compassionate then before dealing with this. Since I consider that a Christlike quality I feel that spiritually I have had growth from this adversity. Because of that, I do feel in some ways blessed and chosen to be allowed that journy and to be entrusted with someone who needs extra guidance.
Rubbish...the schools accept them because they are required to teach and provide services to the autistic children just like the typical children. Given a choice, I suspect many parents with the right resources would opt for a more suitable environment because autistic schools know how to teach autistic children and deal with their behavioral issues. Very few states offer an opt out with continued funding ie a voucher system for disabled children that allows this. Options are normally limited and you send your child to the local school==many are ill-equipped to deal with autism and other disabilities despite getting a large chunk of change to service those children. For us it has worked out marvelously, however we still have his name on the waiting list for the lauded school for autism. We recognize that at some point he may be better served. We are fortunate to have resources at our disposal though to utilize that.
BTW, another little known thing is that many high functioning autistic children do well being pulled for specialty schools that help them learn the behavioral tools they need and then can reenter after a couple years there into a normal school situation. Again, it is a situation of resources..most parents do not have them and specialty schools for disabilities are generally covered by insurance, nor will most states offer a voucher system to help defray the expense.
You are probably the same a$$hole I had to take to task for making a snide comment in a mall one time. Funny how quickly he backed down when his bad behavior was addressed right to his face and I’m only a 5’3” whip of a woman who has been taught how to handle things in a calm manner.
What always gives me pause is the fact that adults who are normal like yourself(big assumption) have the resources and capabilities with which to handle their own little emotional outbursts but they still let it fly without the restraint they are perfectly capable of and expect better from a child of 6 who emotionally is a child of 3. Pardon me...bahahahaha!
Yes, he could be. Autistic children when given medications that don’t suit them have been known to get depressed and psychotic. It is possible he is medicated improperly. Again, this would take some baseline experience and knowledge with this disorder before making assumptions. *rolls eyes*
If you or anyone else is interested, one of the things I have found that has helped and it happened by chance in our case is not letting an autistic child fall into too much routine. I know that challenges some common notions on autism, but because my son has not had as much routine at home he seems better equipped to deal with changes in his environment. Again, the difficult part of this is that because of the attitudes expressed here many parents of children with autism DO isolate themselves and the children then miss out on the exposure to everyday frustrations of dealing with other people and other situations and their life becomes too routine to where it isolates more and *I believe* makes it more likely they will lash out at a changing environment.
If any of you are interested further to get into the mind of a child with autism. My son is 7. This is the first year that he was able to sit through a doctor’s appointment without crying. We even got height, bp, and weight. I think those of us with normal children just take it for granted how this becomes easy from the age of 3 or so to take a child to the doctor and expect them to behave a certain way. For an autistic child, the unfamiliar persona and the uncertainty with what is going to happen can be overwhelming. He was the same way with haircuts and is getting better with that too. All this said to say this is the first year where I’ve really seen a maturing in him and seen him find other ways to handle himself when he gets overwhelmed. A natural process that most children get in half the time is a painstaking learning process for children with neurological disorders like autism—the way they process stuff is just not normal and it overwhelms the hell out of them. I don’t know, but I can hope, that this may give you insight into the mind of a child like this. I expect many here did not realize that even mundane things like doctor’s appointments could be that difficult and probably could not then further understand the whys that they are. I think knowing some of those things though gives you a view into how stimulus can quickly overwhelm a child with autism.
And as I’ve said many times, I don’t agree in always segregating them since autistic children all vary in their sensitivities. Should someone like my son who can compose himself on a playground and take direction be denied the enrichment of interacting with typical peers because another child can not handle that? Again, one size fits all is an issue in schools, but not just with autistic children. And again, I realize just how fortunate I have been that my son has not been thus far treated that way.
YEP!
*rolls eyes*
Yep...this is understood by most parents with special needs children.
You understand though that someone must provide those resources right? And that presently most states do not provide a voucher system that parents of an autistic child can take their funding with them when they use a special school? I don’t know about you, but 20 grand a year is not in my budget, but i do know that public schools are REQUIRED to provide for parents who have registered their children to go to those schools with a certain amount of funding for their education.
The issue with vouchers must be continually addressed if you and others would like to see our children served properly. You can not ask me to segregate my child, but not allow me the same oppurtunity to fund his education that other typical public school students have.
This post rocks Delphi and for those wondering if I put my money where my mouth is on this, my youngest son who is typical goes to my son’s old preschool as a ‘typical child’ ie one of those children Delphi was talking about that model behavior for the children with disabilities that is appropriate for children their age.
What is the statistic now on autism? 1 in 150? Chances are someone here has been exposed to a child with autism—most probably didn’t know it even though they have pitchforks and rally cries of putting them all in an institution.
You are right, we have learned the hard way about autism, I don’t know about you, but spiritually it has made me a better person. God Bless you Delphi.
It varies by school system. My son’s school has a special education classroom as well as a speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, and an ‘adaptive PE’ teacher. My son does about a half split. He goes to the normal class for the activities which he can benefit from and can handle. He goes to recess with his normal class(with the special ed aid who also aids with 2 other children with special needs), he goes for ‘circle time’ and other group activities and art, music, and quiet reading time(gasp, yes, my 7 year old can handle quiet book time without being prompted too!). They can and will adjust his schedule if he is having an off day to allow him more time in special ed. He also eats in the special ed classroom as opposed to the cafeteria because of the stimulus there. The academics for the most part are handled with his special ed teacher because he learns differently then the other children...he needs more one on one and he is a bit behind academically because of the communication challenges with autism.
To me, what is going on with him is ideal. What we do for him outside of the class focuses on behavioral and more speech therapy type stuff. It can not be stressed enough though that the teachers, parents, and doctors have to see themsevles as a team for their child. They have to work together. Our school also has a policy of allowing the regular teachers to choose who will take on the special ed kids in their class. Normally the same teachers volunteer and that’s a blessing since they then work as a team with the special ed teacher.
If any of your are wondering, I would be just fine if my youngest son ends up in the class of this regular teacher and has to be in class with special needs kids. Violence is individual to any child. We don’t isolate teens because some of them act like idiots on their hormone kicks and by the same token we don’t isolate all special needs kids because ONE child hit his teacher. That child should be dealt with individually and frankly I’m surprised by the hysterical, overreactions on this forum. My son has EARNED his right to sit in that regular classroom—something many normal kids do not have to do. He is a good boy and regularly gets praised for his good behavior.
Why would anyone who claims such an objectionable and totally inaccurate opinion that autism was caused by parental excess be taken seriously about anything?
It is a neurological disorder, not a mental disorder...important distinction, especially when it comes to getting insurance companies to recognize it as the MEDICAL disorder that it is.
Either that or they are frustrated with her as much as she is with their child. Not everyone who makes a catty comment does it because they are ‘snotty’ or consider their child ‘perfect’. Some people do it out of sheer frustration from having dealt with the VhX’s of the world. We don’t know the whole story, but I’m inclined to believe the parents and this aide have not had a real friendly vibe going from the get go. Would explain the cattiness on both side without even making judgements on the child.
I wonder if Kantian thinks that all the normal kids in the class who chit chat, pass notes, and laugh out of turn and do those things on a DAILY basis should also be relegated to some special classroom? For cripes sakes folks, what is getting lost in this entire discussion is that we are talking about an elementary school age child! Kids that age go into kindergarten compliant, but quite a bit more disruptive to one another then say a child in 6th grade or 9th grade. I think it is appropriate to put this into the proper context. I hardly think the OCCASIONAL hand flapping of an autistic kindergartner is any more disruptive then the incessent DAILY chatter of a the little girl who wants to engage the teacher like she’s her surrogate mommy. When I’ve had oppurtunity to observe these kids together, my child is probably the LEAST disruptive at this age precisely because he is non verbal.
The charges are ridiculous, but hopefully this will finally open up the eyes of the school system to what it sounds like the parents have been fighting for for a while. I feel for them because they only recently got the diagnosis and I suspect it is one of the reasons they are fighting an uphill battle now. We got ours just before our son turned 3 and we suspected it earlier then that, but it took that long to stop denying what was right in front of us. I think though having him in early for treatment, not only helped him, but set a plan of action in that kept us from having to fight for every little thing he needs.
God Bless teachers who see the potential in these children and the broader communities some of us are fortunate enough to live in that still sees ‘retards’ as God’s children too.
Don’t you hate the assertion that someone’s public school sucks, so everyone else’s must as well? LOL
BTW, we are content with our public schools as well.
In a classroom, one special child can disrupt the class for the entire group of children. This isn’t fair to the other students: It takes away from the learning of their traditional lessons.
If this were a rare, occasional event, it might be a good lesson for the “normal” kids; but—on a daily basis—it robs them of too much educational time.
I believe that I understand your concerns: Your interests are for your own children, and THEY SHOULD BE. You are the champion for all things for them. The trouble is that a teacher cannot champion just one or two students. He or she must look out for the whole WHILE caring for each of them individually. It’s a tenuous balance—extremely difficult to keep!
The BEST of luck and hope for you and your child!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.