[daybreakcoming]

Knowing your feelings about gay marriage, your cousin has knowingly really put you and wife in a very uncomfortable position. A nice note about his plans would have been the way rather than a command performance invitation to his wedding.
That's the way I see it.....boils down to good manners and a show of respect to you and wife's standards/beliefs.

[Paine's Ghost]

If you do go, post who threw the bouquet and who shot the garter.

[CANBFORGIVEN]

I'm curious?? Have you spoken to your cousin about your dilemma? Explain to him how much you love him but the struggle you are having inside because of your moral beliefs. Maybe he can give you the permission you need from him to not attend, but at the same time he will know that you love and appreciate him enough to have an honest conversation with him.

Maybe you can invite to take him to a special dinner to "show" your love for him and extending kindness to his "significant other". They both are loved by God, regardless of their sin, and you need to restore and encourage him gently and in love. I don't believe this includes actually attending his wedding.

[Ol' Sparky]

I absolutely would not go. I write a letter to your cousin telling him you love but that you disagree with sexual behavior and decision to "marry" and why. If you're a Christian, share the gospel with him and let him know that you'll be praying for him.

[norwoks]

I remember hearing very similar comments from people in the 60's regarding interracial marriage.

[Zeroisanumber]

Life is too short to refuse your cousin for the sake of politics. Go, and wish him well.

[no dems]

I would send a note telling him that you love him and that you always will but you just cannot attend the ceremony because it violates your convictions. End the note by saying: "Thank you for understanding my very difficult dilemma."

[philman_36]

Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
No, I wouldn't.
And keep in mind that if you do go your doing so may very well be taken as silent admission of consent to their choice of lifestyle and an acceptance of gay marriage.
You may also be seen as a hypocrite for doing one thing while saying another. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.

[dcnd9]

If he knows where you stand, respectfully decline attending.

-

[jmc813]

FWIW, I attended a Massachusetts lesbian wedding of a close family member. I was a bit weirded out beforehand, but it was a lot less creepy than I expected, and actually a very good time. Gays tend to have good and sophisticated taste in food and wine.

[pedestrianrage]

how are you going to continue having a relationship with your cousin if you can't accept the person who is going to be with him for the rest of his life and you can't accept the fact that they are together? and if you boycott their wedding because of your disdain for their relationship, do you think they're going to want to continue seeing you, in return? what about if they adopt or foster kids? what about when they attend your family functions together? these are just a few of things you should probably be asking yourself, and i don't think anyone's personal opinion here is going to help you arrive at a decision.

[proud American in Canada]

I would definitely go. You have always been close to him, have obviously gone through a lot with him and seem to love him. You would not ignore his wedding if he was marrying a woman you couldn't stand. You would grin and bear it. I'm assuming his partner is probably someone you like and even if he isn't, grin and bear it. Don't hurt your cousin. You can go to the ceremony and leave the reception early. Or you can find a reason to skip the ceremony and just go to the reception. But you really need to attend one or the other or both otherwise your relationship will never be the same.

Excellent post! I agree with kedd.

[Kaylee Frye]

This is a hard one. My brother is gay and I could envision such a scenario in the future. I think this is one for hubby and I to discuss. I like the responses about going to the reception but not the "wedding". I'm just not sure. I can imagine if I said no in any form it would be a very very big deal in my family. But so would be attending a ceremony I knew to be flying in the face of what I believe... I can see why this would be a hard choice. Good luck!

[WackySam]

If you do decide to go, be very wary of anyone wanting to push in your stool while you're at the bar.

[USMMA_83]

Family first, always. Our Veep still loves his lesbian daughter...family first...always...

[Mrs.Liberty]

Go.

#1: Blood is thicker than water. Your family will always be there for you.

#2: You've already validated their relationship as a couple by inviting them to attend your wedding. Therefore, there really is no dilemma. Go to the ceremony and reception and enjoy yourselves.

[fwdude]

Here's a little experiment:
Would you have thought about going 35, 40 years ago to a "wedding" between a close cousin and a same sex partner (be honest)? If not, what has changed other than your level of acceptance of a destructive, immoral lifestyle?

[Ex-Episcopalian]

Would you go to a family member's wedding if the groom were marrying his own daughter? Supposing the bride is over 21, and they "really really love each other." All that matters is that they are in love, and they're family, right? If not, why would that be different from this case? Where would you draw the line? To attend a wedding is to celebrate someone's union. It's not like going to a movie. Either you believe this is immoral, or you don't.

[Hegewisch Dupa]

You invited them to yours, so I don't understand why you are questioning what the right thing to do is now. I also don't understand your choice of keywords if you still don't know your answer.

[NavySon]

If I were in your shoes, I'd tell my cousin that I disagree with what he's doing, but I would still go because he's family. A disagreement is not worth creating a schism in your family. Believe me, I know, and it's not worth it.