Families Without Children - Report Reveals Changes in Attitudes Towards Kids

Zenit News Agency ^ | July 22, 2006

[codercpc]

When my husband and I married, I was 19 years old. We decided to start our family right away. We used to tease that we wanted at least 6 kids (in my husbands case, he would have been happier with his own football team). Two long years later, I became pregnant. It was somewhat difficult, but I didn't know enough at the time that for me, it wasn't difficult, it was a miracle! After our son was born, I never even went on birth control, we were ready for whatever God would give us. God had other plans, he gave us two miscarriages, and years of infertility. After 10 more years of trying, we came to the point that if we kept trying (those months of thinking your pregnant, only to be once more disappointed) it would ruin our marriage, and my sanity.

Because I suffered from endometriosis, I was started on Depo Provera shots, which is a form of birth control, and the knowledge that I wasn't pregnant every month became a Godsend to me. We have come to the realization, that for whatever reason, it was a blessing that we had one child, and our one child is a true miracle. And we have the happiest marriage out of anyone I know. My husband is my best friend, and looking back I am grateful for the life I had. I totally understand your feelings of people assuming that everyone is childless by choice. I remember having mere acquaintances asking my young son "When are your Mommy and Daddy gonna give you a brother or sister" and my heart breaking. It was so hard not to be rude to them. I finally got to the point of saying "I guess some things aren't in Gods plans". At that point I made a vow to never, ever ask a child free couple, "So when are you going to start your family".

[CindyDawg]

We have to do what works best for us. I had 4 sisters and came from a broken home. The fighting, the messes. No thanks. God had another plan for me though. Funny, the messes and stuff just aren't as messy when they are yours. My husband was fussing at me the other day. Now that mine are grown and I can spoil and then send the grandbabies home I have noticed that I'm not as patient as I used to be. I would take mine out to eat and one would usually get cranky. I hated the frowns from the "singles and couples" I would get. I mean , they were just little kids. Now, when we go out to eat, I have noticed that I like it quiet and like to sit away from kids. I was thinking oh my gosh, "I'm acting like that" now. I put that to bed the other day though. I took my two grandson's to a cafeteria. They wanted to be "helpful" and the baby had his own ideas where he wanted to go. Anyway, they (people my age) were frowning at me again:') What was their problem. These weren't just kids but "special kids":') My little blessings. Go figure.

[CindyDawg]

People can say things that go right to the heart. I know. If it's any comfort. most don't mean to hurt you though.

[CindyDawg]

We non-lawyers can read what you tell us you do,and understand but we will never truly know what being a lawyer is like though.

[codercpc]

You are so right, and I recognized that right away. That was why I swore to never say anything unless I was sure of the situation first.

My life has turned out so good, my son is 16 now, and active and healthy. I couldn't ask for anymore. I am blessed. People make there own happiness, but the first step must be accepting the things that they cannot change, and making the best of it.

[LongElegantLegs]

2. We have 6.5 Billion people on the planet and with that has come stressed economic resources, crowded schools, housing shortages. I think we have an implicit "no vacancy" sign out at the moment -- population growth is a serious matter which we should all think about seriously.

No industrialized country has a birth rate over 2.1. The countries with the highest birth rates, most of them in Africa, also have high mortality rates. Your overpopulation theories are crap.

[seowulf]

I can't imagine anything worse in old age than to have no family. There was a woman in our area who lived to be well over 100. She had never married and was an only child. When asked about her life she candidly said that everyone she had ever been close to was long dead and she worried that no one would remember her when she was dead.

Apparently you remember her.

That thing about being remembered was very important in the ancient Greek culture. That's why people would try to do extraordinary things in their lives that would make them legends.

The heroes of the Trojan war are remembered for their brave deeds millenia later. Others are remembered for their wisdom.

Having relatives won't make you remembered, doing things which affect other peoples' lives, especially things that affect their lives for the better, will.

[CindyDawg]

You are so bad :')

[b9]

Best of luck to you in your journey.
And congratulations on being self employed.
That takes amazing discipline.

[steve-b]

A significant number of self-styled conservatives see "personal liberty" as the highest good

Well, duh -- that's the definition of being a conservative (instead of a big-government liberal). That's like saying that a significant number of self-styled Catholics see the Pope as a spiritual leader.

[steve-b]

Be a little gay and

...let him watch. ;-)

[Lil Flower]

I understand your concern. My mother's family has extremely high cholesterol in her family and I have inhereted it. Also I have 2 Aunts and 2 uncles who have had bipass surgery. Also have an uncle who has had 3 heartattacks starting at age 44.

But all but one of those is still living.Your time is up when it's up. You could go somewhere today and get killed in a car wreck.

[steve-b]

What does this portend for the future, the report asks. For a start, less political support for families. In the last presidential election, parents made up slightly less than 40% of the electorate. Less votes translates into less support for funding of schools and youth activities. Already a number of communities across the nation are trying to hold down property taxes by restricting the construction of affordable single family housing.

At least there's one cultural trend pointing toward less, rather than more, welfare statism....

[durasell]

Prediction:

In a week half the posters on this thread will be using it and claiming it as their own.

[CindyDawg]

I hate to tell you this....I've heard it before lol.

[durasell]

I used it and claimed it as my own...what can I say?

[CindyDawg]

:')

[steve-b]

I remember having mere acquaintances asking my young son "When are your Mommy and Daddy gonna give you a brother or sister" and my heart breaking. It was so hard not to be rude to them.

Er, why the hell should you not be rude to them, given that they were extremely rude to you?

Civility, like peace, can only be preserved if aggression is met with a firm and devastating response.

[durasell]

Train the kid to tell them, "As soon as mommy and daddy can find one. They already bought the duct tape and cage."

[MrEdd]

Well, it seems to me that the state, the courts and living in the US is predisposed against having children.

Fixed it for you. With abortion, low to no sentencing for pedophiles, refusal to allow a court appointed executor for child support monies when the custodial parent is neglectful - it is amply shown the US courts are actually opposed to the children themselves.