Posted on 11/14/2005 5:51:48 AM PST by Cagey
I can relate to the situation. There were days when I would have done the same thing, but I'm not proud of it. There was a time when I was a just an angry young man with a whole lot to prove, and unfortunately a lot of people suffered for it.
I grasp what you're saying about the guy. He obviously graduated first in his class from the white-trash school of parenting. What the child did was ugly, and all the uglier that dad obviously had no intentions of correcting him.
However, you still shouldn't have hit him.
However, you still shouldn't have hit him.
Are you saying that in family restaurants it's OK to use 'outdoor' voices? Maybe I don't understand the concept of "indoor" vs "outdoor" voices.
I guess I take that pretty literally. Outdoor screaming and loud voice/boisterous behavior belongs in parks and playgrounds. Outback and Red Lobster, family restaurant or not seem 'indoors' to me. Now in a place with many high chairs do I expect there to be a little more volume than at a dimly lit, romantic, 4 star restaurant - sure. But 'outside' voices don't belong inside anywhere. At a family restaurant if the voices get loud and I see parents working to correct the situation, Great! But the problem most see on this thread are the oblivious parents who seem to go deaf when the fruit of their loins is misbehaving.
There you go. A solution I can whole-heartedly support.
More than once my wife has had to tell other's kids to behave (in no uncertain terms!) in various places. The dimwit parents don't even complain usually. When they do she tells them to control their kids. I have done it also, but she has a gift for conveying authority that is unrivaled.
When she was a retail manager, some kid was riding up and down the handrail of the store escalator. She told him to get off, the mother loudly complained. My wife told her she was no longer welcome to shop there. Get out. Period.
Exactly AND....can you imagine how they act in their own homes???????? We NEVER go to the movie. We check out what we want or watch Turner Classic Network for good old Classic movies with actors who can speak without every other word being the F word and actresses who can actually ACT without taking theri clothes off and hopping into bed with anyone. We're very choosey where we go, when we go and barely eat out anymore. High prices, lousey service, food prepared by ?????. We'll cook in and have a nice dinner withy candlelight and a nice tablecloth with flowers and wine while enjoying our view of Pikes Peak and the lights of the city. It's FREE too. :O)
Especially when we had young kids, a night at the movies for us was a BIG deal (we were poor!). Nowadays, with the kids grown and gone, a night at the movies usually makes me irate by the time it's over because the audience behavior is so obnoxious (only takes a few rude folks to ruin it--and yeah, I've actually had the manager come and ask people to pipe down).
Not alot of movies that come out that I'm willing to go see, as I have a pretty low tolerance for vulgar language and the soft core porn that passes for romance for this generation.
BUT the best theater to go to is a Muvico, in the premier part. I know they aren't everywhere, and they are QUITE pricey, however it is a much better crowd (probably because of the price) and the seats are very comfortable (love seats!) and you get free popcorn and maybe a soft drink with your ticket (I can't remember if the soft drink is free or not). Plus, they even have things like sushi in the lobby. It's a nice evening out, for that once in a while that you have a movie you do want to see.
Pike's Peak..... we used to live in Denver back in the late 70s. Beautiful part of the world!
susie
They are now well behaved, well adjusted and happy teens.
There is no magic bullet. Every parenting book ever written is part of a massive scam. EVERY child has a different temperment, one size does not fit all. Some respond to timeouts, some to spankings, some to having things taken away, some to groundings. It all depends on the age and temperment of the child.
We tried timeouts with my son for a very short time. He quickly caught on and "gamed" the system - suddenly he was in charge and mocking us. Now that he's 9, all we have to do is take away TV or playstation, and he becomes the most compliant child you've ever seen. Spankings worked when he was younger.
My daughter has a completely different temperment. Just look at her with a "disappointed" face and she breaks into tears.
I'm not here to tell anybody what will work for THEIR children. Each child is different, and it is foolishness to think that there is "one way" to get compliant behavior. What I WILL say to these parents is DO SOMETHING - don't let your kids run your family. Find what works, and do that. Many, if ot most parents, have abdicated their responsibility and just let the kids do and have everything they want, with no control.
By all means, if timeouts work for your children, use them. But do not be fooled that they are the Universal Best Way to Discipline.
We have a hard time with that as well, and it just goes to show the general lack of respect fostered by a lazy culture.
Our daughter has been taught to address adults by their proper title (Mr., Mrs., Dr., Pastor, etc), and there are so many adults out there who try to undo it by insisting on having her NOT do it. The exception is our church, where all the children of all the families address adults properly. It's no small surprise to draw a correllation between that and the fact that 98% of the children at our church are homeschooled and raised by BOTH parents.
Muvico? I'll have to look that up. Never heard of it before. Don't mind the price if the place is good. Yes, Colorado...beautiful country for certain. :)
Looked up Muvico Theatres. They have a bunch in Florida like Boca, Tampa, Palm Harbor, etc. Then in Hanover, Maryland and Memphis, Tennessee. Too far. :) I'll read up on them though. They sound very nice. Thanks for the info. Appreciate it. I'll have to tell relatives who live in Florida about them.
Yeah! Just today I really wanted to throw a screaming kid out of the bus I was riding... so anoying! My inner voice was asking: "Herod, Herod, where art thou Herod?"
Yes, they're great. Maybe they'll spread around the country.
susie
The mothers themselves like to yak at the top of their voices even in good restaurants.
Hope so. :)
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