Posted on 09/17/2005 6:59:48 AM PDT by teldon30
Slight difficulty. I live 65 miles away from London. ;)
Regards, Ivan
Blur, you oughta go after this executive chick. You could tame her! ;o)
Interesting comment
That is too cool..... You may be right! I just need to slow down long enough to let them catch me, eh? LOL
BTW... great homepage!
Not your usual ping but it could be interesting.......... and fun!
Tell that to Mrs. JimRed, please!
;^)
Everyone has their own definition of beauty
However thanks for your male insight, something to consider but I really prefer the type of man who see something he wants and has enought confidence to go after it without being afraid of rejection but then that's just me"
Apackof2, you are absolutely right! Fog24 is a coward. So he wants to sit back and be selected by all the female "also rans". He if wants a quality woman, he needs to step up to the plate and take a cut at the ball.
Yup, stop & smell the roses before they wilt!
BTW... great homepage!
You too except You need a picture, girfriend!
Dang MadIvan,
You are so romantic. Please post the rest of that poem here someday so we Freeper gals can read it.
I know and for the record FOG24 is a woman!
I made the same mistake myself...
A woman who sees what she wants and goes after it.
And just for your information, I'm female.
Fine. Continue to chase men and they'll always consider you a B-Team Player. You'll never make it to the bonus round.
Let me try to help out here (at least on the level of what's going on in a man's mind... as far as the "successful" dating thing, I'm still single, too).
The problem is that both men and women are confused on what a traditional courtship is. I think your quote above is as unrealistic as the guy who expects his girlfriend to be docile and obedient. It never happened that way, nor will it ever.
For example, let's talk about what attracts a man to a woman enough that he will ask her out. I think the evidence (from personal experience, anecdotal evidence, and yes, even scientific studies) is pretty clear. Men pursue women who signal their availability and interest. Personally speaking, I always look for clues that a woman might be interested before going over to talk to her. Why waste time, and risk very abusive rejection, on a woman who is not obviously receptive? I'm not some touchy-feely sensitive type, either. But rejection is painful, and repeated rejection (especially when it is harsh) is more so. It's kind of funny that, while a man should be expected to act like a gentleman (which I agree with wholeheartedly), a woman can be as catty or insulting as she likes (certainly not the way ladies used to react to unwanted attention), and the man should just suck it up. If a man said to a woman just a handful of the things I have seen women say to men (whether to me, to friends, or just overhearing in a bar), I'd bet most women would have already joined a convent. Quite the double standard...
I have quite a few close female friends, and have watched them cluster and giggle about the guy that just walked up to one and got shot down. And the ladies are not necessarily kind about it (telling a guy who simply walked up and started a conversation, nothing vulgar or inappropriate, that he might as well walk off right now because he's not man enough for her... I watched her do it... and got really pissed on his behalf). I find this very interesting, as most of the women I know are very quick to complain that men are not sensitive to their feelings, yet they often feel no compunction about brutally rejecting nice guys who just want to test the waters. There's quite a bit of selfishness in this whole issue: the lady would like to risk nothing but have a man risk everything, and many women glory in that power.
But back to my point. There have even been scientific studies of courtship behavior, and the results have been very interesting. In almost all of the cases, women who are approached by men almost always initiated the contact. They use what are called signal behaviors. Next time you are out with your girlfriends, and one of your friends in on the prowl and not too choosy about her catch, watch what she does. You'll be surprised at all of the little signals that get sent. For example, extended eye-contact (perhaps with a trailing smile), loud or boisterous laughter, briefly stepping in or out of the cluster (maybe just a few feet, but enough to separate her visually), playing with her hair, rubbing a finger on another object (like around the lip of her glass, etc., known as an "object caress"). Almost all of these subtle (and completely unconscious) activities are designed to attract a man's attention, and signal that she is available. And I'll bet it works.
My grandmother always used to say that a man chases and chases a woman until she catches him. That implies mutual pursuit. Perhaps part of the inability of some of these women to "find" the right man is that they aren't actually "looking." They want to avoid the pain of rejection themselves, and therefore don't put themselves in a situation where there is any risk to their feelings, expecting the man to do all of the work and accept all of the risk. Now, I have known men who got so used to rejection that it no longer bothered them anymore, but they were usually the type who were only looking to get laid, and saw frequent rejection as the cost of a quick score (one guy I knew used to hit on every woman in the bar, in quick succession, until he found one that was willing). In fact, becoming calloused to rejection almost has to preclude any genuine interest in a woman (how can you feel emotionally towards someone who you are trying to objectify so that you don't feel any pain if she rejects you).
Sorry, but I think the sentiments your reflect are no more representative of "a real man" or the "way things used to be" than are the guys who are looking for a submissive homemaker. In fact, I think they share a pedigree with many modern dating fallacies. They are based in an unrealistic view of what the relationship between men and women has been and should be. Women have always initiated relationships, just not directly. Waiting around for that one guy who doesn't care might work. But then what do you have? What does it say about his emotional suitability for a relationship with you if he's so insensitive to pain that he doesn't care if you laugh in his face? How much could he feel toward you if he couldn't care less that you don't want him...?
June's countenance was fresh and fair
July's was passionate and wild
August's withered in the sultry air
But September greets me with a smile.
And as the air begins to cool
And a hint of woodsmoke begins to rise
I note that while the seasons follow rules
There is still room for a surprise.
One September day had left me dragging
My soul tapped out, my spirits lagging
I'd walked across the leaden floor
To turn from turmoil, but found much more -
I was at once dazzled by the sight
Of you sitting there, dressed in white.
Do you know how angelic you appeared
I wondered if could you see my hopes and fears
As I looked in your eyes, clear and blue;
I felt heartsick thinking I could never be with you
For your love already has somewhere to abide
And for love's sake, I can only stand aside.
And never know if all would come right
By being loved by the woman dressed in white.
Golden sunlight caressed your hair
And a song of agony seemed to fill the air -
In my heart, I clasp the iron bars of my cage
Shaking them with endless rage
Let me go, I say with a cry
But I won't be released, and I know why
I am destined to strive and to fight
Not to be loved by the woman dressed in white.
Smile at me once more, is all I can ask
Before I turn again to my tasks
Yes, be the smile of this season
Be my unknown love, my silent reason
For striving to be as noble as I can
For reaching onward to be a better man
And reward me sometimes, my love, with the sight
Of your lovely self, dressed in white.
October's eyes have shadows of the night
And November's will be bleaker still
But let darkness come and cover the sight
Of a sweet love unfulfilled.
I warned you, I'm a Goth.
Regards, Ivan
Maybe your attorneyness has just a tad to do with the social isolation. Men these days tend to be gunshy what with the tendency for women to marry then after a certain length of time, (often short) file and strip the husband. The judicial system guarantees that the man doesn't have a chance when that happens. And a man is going to go for a woman attorney??? If a women aspires both to wifehood and to the bar she better get married before she graduates or limit her field to other sharks.
Had to get that out there before saying how any woman could resist having a bit of a crush on MadIvan for his silver pen, incomparable wit and obvious intelligence is beyond me ;-)!
"Blur, you oughta go after this executive chick. You could tame her! ;o)"
Actually, this one sounds like she'd really prefer being self-sufficient, unless she can find some guy who can spoil her rotten. Guaranteed she'd want a pre-nup unless the guy is so much wealthier that HE wants one.
The article mentions the 'evolutionary' bilge that 'men evolved to want women they can control' when in truth, it speaks to the desire of a Godly man to have a Godly wife. Not a doormat but one who gladly submits to his caring, courageous leadership of the relationship.
The old Neil Diamond song makes some sense,
"As long as I can have you here with me,
I'd much rather be, forever in blue jeans."
I think the bottom like is that she walks like a man, talks like a man, acts like a man and then is SHOCKED to discover men want a woman who not only is a woman but ACTS like a woman.
I don't know many wimmen around here....and none that fish. I have an 8 acre lake on my property that I fish once in awhile. I haven't had much time to enjoy it in the past 2 yrs tho... since I'm usually running from sun-up to sundown.... 5 and 6 days a week. Good luck on the Tourney! :)
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