Posted on 06/02/2005 6:33:25 PM PDT by Huntress
Some people don't have enough tragedy in their lives that they have to invent some.
I think it all depends on the child.
I was given everything: a new car at 16 and a college education.
I became a software engineer, and now I'm a SAHM. I'll probably go back to work to pay for my kids to have cars and go to college.
My husband had to work his way through college. It was very difficult for him. I don't want my kids to do that. They'll have enough trials and tribulations after college.
I think if your child is grateful for what they are given, then that is what is important.
I solved this problem by just not having voicemail and putting the ringer off on my landline. All my loved ones have my cell number - I haven't answered my landline in almost three years! ;-)
"I think it depends on the child."
Agreed. My hubby and I are able to give our son more than we ever had. He's a good kid on the honor roll....which he works very very hard to accomplish.
I was the oldest of 9 children. I worked 3 jobs through college and had a full tuition scholarship. I worked hard but still graduated summa cum laude. Best thing that ever happened to me by the sweat of my own brow. My first car cost $150 and I paid cash for it. Kids today are spoiled, indulged brats and still they are miserable. Not my kids. Not gonna happen.
I came to that conclusion in my mid-20s! Though I am a bit more overinclusive - I think 'most' people are just basically hopeless: see why I don't answer my phones?
My parents funded my college education 100%, because they wanted to, and because they could afford to, because of the following:
1. I went to the local community college and took college transfer courses. It's much cheaper, and the basic freshman and sophomore level English, science, history and math courses aren't any different from those at a 4 year university. The added bonus, at least at the community college I attended, was that I mixed with people of all ages, many of whom lived in the 'real world' and had 'real jobs', not just college-age kids, so by the time I transferred to university and dorm-living, I was 21 and didn't go ape**** with the partying and independence and flunk out after the 1st year, like so many college freshman do.
2. I transferred to an in-state, public university. There was absolutely no reason to go outside North Carolina in order to get a good education.
No child of mine will ever do a "team homework project". Schools are intruding massively on the lives of children and their families with all sorts of needlessly time-consuming busy work. When will parents learn to just say NO?
I recall an article in Time magazine a few years back about this problem. Especially loading up elementary school kids with homework and "projects", despite that fact that no research on the subject has ever been able to show any academic achievement benefit to homework prior to the high school level. One father, a former school teacher himself, had the guts to simply inform his daughter's school that she would not be completing any homework assignments, period. And who cares if the teachers trash the kids grades for that -- elementary school grades don't matter!
Why do people feel they have to apologize for having generous parents? My parents gave me alot financially, and I gave them alot back spiritually with love and devotion. I am not ashamed, nor should anyone be for having a wonderful family.
I went from high school to college to law school with no time in between. A mistake, in retrospect. I think a year or so of work (or a 2 year stint in the military) in between high school and college is preferred and adds a LOT of maturity in a relatively short time.
Further, I think a lot of the liberal mindset that passes for critical thinking at colleges passes the smell test of relatively naive children (and lets be honest, the typical college student these days is still a 'child' in many ways). The same stuff wouldn't pass the smell test of even a slightly more seasoned young adult who took a year off to work at a crappy, dead-end job, or served in the armed forces.
Wow! She sure had a lot to say.
I initially thought the point of her article was to lambaste people for making obnoxious phone calls, especially late at night. But it really blossomed into a story about spoiled kids!
She makes many excellent points.
For over a year, I rec'd 3 consecutive calls once a week. When I answered, I rec'd the beeping like someone trying to send a fax. I finally started letting my message center take the calls. The frequency stretched to once a month. It's now once about 3 months. I have no idea who is doing it, but I sure could do some damage to their ears if I ever find out.
It was the '70's. Everything was going great, then Menudo broke up, and the New Orleans Police went on strike during Mardis Gras. :o(
Your husband learned some very valuable "life lessons" during his "difficult" time.
He had to work very hard for what he wanted.
How do you expect your children to be prepared for "enough trials and tribulations after college" - if they drive on 'easy street' (Mom and Dad will pay) until after college?
Just MO, but that is not the way my kids are going through college. Mom and Dad will certainly help, but they are going to have to work for it.
Again, just MO.
LVM
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.