Roger, 933 is clear for landing

South Bend Tribune ^ | December 15, 2004 | JOHN DOBBERSTEIN, CAROL DRAEGER and MICHAEL WANBAUGH

[lilylangtree]

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock , 6 miles!"

Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

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"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."

"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

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A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"

Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

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A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.

San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

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There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

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Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant.

"It took us a while to find a new pilot."

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A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):

"Because you lost the bloody war."

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One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:

"I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

[luigi]

That was great! Thanks!

[U S Army EOD]

Check the Freeper Foxhole today. What was put on was Robert Scott who wrote, "God Is My Co-Pilot". Good timing, seems He is still in the cockpit when needed.

[U S Army EOD]

Good timing.

[snopercod]

I hope I do half as well if I ever have to face an emergency landing over a city.

[ArrogantBustard]

I'd fly with that Pilot any day.

[snopercod]

Me too. I always have a tendency to come in too high on those engine-out simulations. Need more practice.

[RightWhale]

That's a big airplane.

[Travis McGee]

DAMN!!!

[CFIIIMEIATP737]

GPS's are starting to be produced with a new feature. When you push a button, it presents a circle on the moving map that shows your 'radius of action' in a power off glide.

[SAMWolf]

Better to be "lucky" than good. ;-)

[houeto]

Thanks for the ping Aero. All I can say is just, "WOW!".

[Dashing Dasher]

Holy Tin Can, Batman!

[PleaseNoMore]

Amen to that.

[TMSuchman]

Remember GOD was at the controls. We are the copiolts, not HIM!

[banjo joe]

a hatch door

Headline: "...media brilliance continues to astound...:

[banjo joe]

And there I was, at FL250, when......

...and getting traffic advisories from NASA...